OMFG YOWCH!!! by Markusram via flickr
I fucking hate high heels.
Yes, I understand that they elongate the leg, and plump up the calf muscle and make your booty pop, and I’ve always been told my legs are my best feature. After all, when you’re a 34A you get used to how the male eye tends to drift downwards in the hopes of finding something a little more exciting. So I love short skirts and I’m not above working what I’ve got. But I absolutely will not wear high heels. And while you ladies are free to choose your choice, I don’t think you should either.
Consider the following, courtesy of my beloved hometown newspaper: “Today, despite mounting evidence of the damage ill-fitting shoes can cause, women squeeze their toes to fit into oh-so-popular pointed-toe shoes. Wearing heels causes your foot to slide forward, “redistributing your weight, creating unnatural pressure points and throwing your body’s natural alignment out of whack,” according to the Mayo Clinic. High heels have “been linked to overworked or injured leg muscles, osteoarthritis of the knee and low back pain,” continues Mayo. “You also risk ankle injuries if you lose your balance and fall off your high heels.”
Yet we fetishize them non-stop. Thank you very fucking much, Carrie Bradshaw. There were many, many times I wanted to throw a (cute yet comfy) Chuck Taylor at my TV during SATC. Can’t buy your apartment because you spent it all on shoes? You’re a dumbass! Can’t get out of the taxi because you can’t walk a block in your heels? You’re pathetic!
And don’t get me started about men and heels. I have an ex-boyfriend who spent a fair amount of time and energy encouraging me to wear expensive, lofty high heels, even offering to buy them for me. Now, had his request been because he was all freaky-deaky about shoes, we could have come to a happy arrangement. I would have cheerfully pranced around in our bedroom in heels and worn them during sex and talked dirty about them. I’m nothing if not game in the kink department. But no, dear readers, he actually wanted me to wear them for hours on end, i.e. take the subway into Manhattan—standing up! a half hour each way!—so we could go to dinner and then for a romantic walk in Central Park. He, of course, would be wearing some nice flat leather dress shoes with cashmere blend socks.
I wasn’t up for it—that long standing and walking in high heels would leave my feet hurting for hours. But he persisted, and got petulant when I kept refusing. That’s when I got really, really angry and wound up giving him a size 8 piece of my mind.
It is not okay for us to be pressured into wearing anything that hurts, especially when it will cause long-term, serious damage to our bodies. Even more infuriating, there is no equivalent for men. Sure, a tie might feel a bit constricting, but even the most dedicated menswear enthusiast never required surgery because of extended necktie use.
And high heels put me at risk. I can’t run in them. I can’t fight in them. I am a runner and second-degree brownbelt in karate, so I’m especially sensitive to things that restrict movement. If you’re hobbled by smooth-bottomed, spike-heeled shoes, you’re in trouble. You can’t cross the street quickly. You have to be extra, extra careful on stairs and pavement. And if someone wants to mug you (or worse) good luck trying to fight back or run away. Heels prevent freedom of movement and make me vulnerable—two things the patriarchy has been inflicting on women for millennia.
For centuries men and women both wore high heels, mainly to gain a couple inches’ stature. But these days only women are pressured into ruining their bodies and suffering gracefully in order to live up to a beauty standard where the pain is as much self-inflicted as sexist pig-inflicted.
So fuck you, Manolo and Jimmy and Christian Loboutin. Fuck you women’s magazines, and Candace Bushnell and fashion industry for glamorizing something so damaging and making me feel like I can’t be beautiful unless I’m willing to suck it up and suffer. And yes, fuck you to all the men out there who tell me how much they love high heels without ever having to spend a single day in my shoes.
I love the way high heels look and if they weren’t so damn painful, I would wear them all the time.
I have about four pairs of 3-4″ heels, and a pair of sky-high boots that were all on sale and cute, but I never wear them because they’re uncomfortable.
Weddings and funerals, where I sit down for most of the time, are heel-worthy, but almost everywhere else I get away with flats.
Today I bought a pair of kitten heels and I’m hoping the compromise will ensure I get more use out of them than the others.
Well, I love shoes. And I love heels. I love looking at them, I love trying them on, I love wearing them and building outfits around them. I love how I feel when I wear them. I feel confident and sexy, and for someone like me, those feelings come few and far between. And for those that would heap the scorn upon me because of the implication that I “only like them because I am seeing myself through a lens of social expectations”, then I might suggest you get the hell down off of your high horse. I am a smart woman – I am fully aware of the social expectations and implications, I have thought hard about the physical downfalls of wearing heels, and I have taken all arguments into consideration. And I still love heels. And I still wear heels. And just for the record, you bet your sweet bippy I would wear them alone on a desert island, because if I were stranded there with nothing but a pair of Louboutins, why, what other personal joy would I have but looking down upon my pretty pretty feet shod in gorgeous little works of art?
Give me a break! I could certainly have a few things to say on the post regarding “fashion magazines” (gag) but I feel that To Each Their Own is a pretty good motto to live by. I personally wouldn’t waste my time or money or brain cells ooing and aahing over some stupid glossy magazine pages, but whatever. It’s your money, spend it however you wish.
And also just for the record, the shoes pictured above are obviously fetish shoes – no one who isn’t paid to walk in 6-inch heels actually walks in them (besides a lap or two around the bedroom once in a while). And there is a mountain of history regarding fetish shoes, and high heels in general (they were orignally worn by men, but only the fashionable ones.)
Try doing some research before insulting me by telling me that I am a tool of the patriarchy just because I like pretty heels.
So I will not ask you to wear high heels if you don’t want to, but I will ask that you keep your opinions out of my shoe cabinet, thankyouverymuch.
I too will never ever be caught dead in heels. I feel sorry for women I see wearing them, especially during a Chicago winter. Just today I watched two high-heeled women have to help each other tip toe down an icy slope in the sidewalk. When I see someone in ridiculous heels, I automatically think, fairly or not, “this person does not know how to take care of themselves…and that’s pathetic.”
Madeleine L’Engle, in her book “A Circle of Quiet”, tells about attending a party with her husband Hugh Franklin. There were a number of psychologists and psychiatrists at the party. Madeleine wore elegant high heels, because Hugh had asked her to, but after a while she took them off, put them under a chair, and walked around in her hose.
All the psychiatrists at the party came up to her and asked her, in confidential tones, just *why* she’d taken her shoes off.
She told them: because she was 5’11″ barefoot, so when she wore heels, nearly everyone at the party (except Hugh) was shorter than she was. And besides, her feet hurt.
*No one believed her.* Every one of those psychiatrists remained convinced that she must have had some deeply hidden, devious *sexual* reasoning behind taking off a pair of uncomfortable shoes.
(As for me, I can’t walk in them even if they came in my size.)
I just bought my first pair of shoes with heels. I’ve been wearing them around the house a bit to get used to them, and am finding them challenging, but less terrifying than I’d expected. I’ve never worn heels before because (a) my feet are wide and pudgy and difficult [though not impossible] to find shoes for, and (b) I didn’t until very recently think of myself as someone who was “allowed” access to feminine styles because I’m fat and intellectual–so I didn’t think I fit the mold of “attractive”, and I was also wary of the association between “girly” and “unintelligent”. I’m currently exploring a more femme presentation in a fairly part-time way, and I want to have the option of completing my girlier outfits with insanely adorable heeled shoes. But only if I can learn to walk gracefully and comfortably in them! And I don’t plan on abandoning my gender-neutral-geek costume (including flats/sneakers) either
@MzStiletto: “So I will not ask you to wear high heels if you don’t want to, but I will ask that you keep your opinions out of my shoe cabinet, thankyouverymuch.”
My opinions aren’t in your shoe cabinet. They’re in my blog. kthxbai.
I think it’s interesting that in the comments, we’ve gone from “wearing heels is a personal choice” to “women who wear heels can’t take care of themselves/are pathetic/buy into cultural pressures [as if this is the fault of the woman, and as if we don't all accept a social construction of beauty] ”
I think it’s fairly judgmental and uncalled for. We’ve acknowledged that feminism is about choice, but it’s also about respecting the choices of others.
For the record, I am not talking about all of the comments; many of them have been funny or insightful, but there were a few that stood out to me as being a little uncalled for.
Amanda, I guess I’m not sure what this “we” is you speak of. If you mean feminism, well, I think feminism has a very complicated relationship with the “choice” discourse. Choice may be something feminists want to talk about, but it isn’t enough as a justificatory measure for everything a woman does. I don’t, and refuse on feminist grounds, to respect Phyllis Schlafly’s choices for example. Or Paris Hilton’s. I kind of doubt you do either if you’ve ended up on this site.
There is a weird tendency to personalize critiques like the ones appearing in these comments. No one is women-blaming here. What they are at most doing is poking fun at women who want to shut down all discussion of the social construction of beauty by way of overemphasis on the woman’s “choice.” Sure we’re all subject and capitulate daily to these pressures; but that doesn’t obligate us not to call them out when we see them.
@MzStilletto: “I could certainly have a few things to say on the post regarding “fashion magazines” (gag) but I feel that To Each Their Own is a pretty good motto to live by. I personally wouldn’t waste my time or money or brain cells ooing and aahing over some stupid glossy magazine pages, but whatever. It’s your money, spend it however you wish.”
I think you already said those few things, and you would have been welcome to say them on that particular post. Unless it made you gag that violently, in which case I apologize for the drymouth.
Amanda, I agree with you. I can’t get behind mocking or pitying random heel-wearing women I see on the street. We don’t know why they’re wearing them, what social pressures they’re facing, or what they think about those pressures.
Once a woman opens her mouth, I’ll form an opinion on her. Until then, derision is unwarranted.
Hey! Leave pigs out of this…
I enjoy heels from time to time. Not the traditional ‘working woman’ (don’t know how else to describe it) high heel. I like boots with heels and wear them when I wanna feel dressy. Other than that, it’s either flat-bottomed shoes or bare feet.
uhhh i like heels. and i dont do it for men. im queer and i love being femme and wearing heels. they feel natural to me…i hardly even notice that im wearing them, even though i only do on occasion when i go out (and in the summer/spring because its too damn cold in chicago right now to not be in boots) and no, i don’t feel oppressed because i wear heels.
lets get some queer femme appreciation up in here.
@fatima: Rock on! Consider yourself fully appreciated.
I love my heels. I’m five feet tall and occasionally appreciate a few extra inches of height. That being said, however, I do have SOME standards. (When it comes to footwear, anyway.)
1. Nothing over 3″ high. Now, that doesn’t sound “high”, but it is, propotionately so, on sive 5 feet.
2. No stilettos. Even though I play ice-hockey and (sort-of) ski, my ankles just can’t handle it.
3. I have to be able to run, at least down the aisle and around the corner, in them.
4. No kitten heels, of any height. The heel has to be solidly under my heel in the front AND the back.
5. ARCH SUPPORT ARCH SUPPORT ARCH SUPPORT! Non negotiable. (Ballet flats are EVIL. Cute, but evil and my feet ache just THINKING about them.)
6. Leather or natural fabrics only. Otherwise my feet sweat and STIIIIINK–pee yew!
I certainly don’t FEEL oppressed or crippled by the patriarchy when I wear my heels, just a little taller. But if I ever do, then I’ll stop wearing them, just like I did with my lamentably adorable Naughty Monkey oxford heels. (Cute as all get out, but they hurt too much to do everything I wanted to do in them.) I am capable of trying out/on and rejecting ideology when it is as uncomfortable or painful as a poorly-made pair of shoes.
I love shoes-working in a small shoe-shop can do this to you- but I don’t wear heels. I possess a pair of wedge sandals, a pair of what I call high-heeled boots, but the heels are small by contemporary standards,solid and square. I fall over if I try on a pair of stilettos, or kitten heels for that matter, and I can’t stand having sore feet. And since I walk to and back from uni every day, I just cannot wear anything that makes my feet sore; i’d spend the day going crazy.
I just don’t understand why why why put on something you know will make your feet hurt like hell, even if it does look wonderful. Meh, maybe I’m weak, but I just can’t take the pain
I categorize ALL heels as high heels. They make your foot go in an insane position, they fit the category, done. I have one pair of pumps and one pair of heeled boots, both about 2″. Both of them came from Softspots, which is a comfort dress shoe company. The boots are actually more comfortable than any shoes I have except sneakers, and I wear them whenever I wear pants to work. The heels are OK for a couple blocks, but I usually bring them to work in a bag and then stuff the sneakers I wore on the bus in a drawer during the day. But then I do that with flats sometimes too. You do a lot of walking when you take public transportation everywhere.
I actually have very little interest in cute shoes, but I like skirts, and I want to avoid the reaction of “what’s that on the end of her legs?”
Oh, I’ve ranted SO many times about this same thing – every time I see a drunk girl walking home barefoot, heels in hand, I shake my head and say to myself, ‘never again.’ I’ve worn heels when the occasion requires it, but I always end up miserable. I love shoes and I can see that they look good, but oh god, the pain! I’m not a wimp, I have a high tolerance for pain. But with heels I hit my limit. The balls of my feet feel like they’re on fire after 15 minutes, and I have to take little tiny steps to avoid falling over. I don’t understand how anyone can stand it. You ladies who say that heels don’t hurt… do you have Barbie feet??
Also, a little trivia: the stiletto was invented in the 1950s by a man (of course) for the sole purpose of accentuating the wearer’s breasts and buttocks as much as possible. Don’t try and tell me that heels aren’t a tool of the patriarchy.
p.s. wedges are exempt from this; they are way comfier.
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Tell it like it is sister!!
Never had a pair and will never get any. Ever.
the (hopefully EX)-boyfriend who pressured you to wear shoes you weren’t comfortable in was an asshole, that’s all there is to it. I’d like to think guys like that are an aberration, though I’d probably be wrong.
for what it’s worth there are plenty of guys who look at it the other way and just plain aren’t interested in women who wear tons of makeup and heals and all that stupid patriarchal bullshit, hopefully one day that will be the norm.
As a man, I can tell you that I hate it when women wear high heels. I prefer a woman to have sense enough to wear sensible shoes as much of the time as possible. If you’re going to wear them, save them for special occasions (such as weddings) – don’t wear them every day for the sake of it.
Ah, so it was the boyfriend who encouraged your wearing high heeled shoes. Hmm. Aren’t the men supposed to be the logical thinking gender? Oh, sorry, another stereotype.
I fully concur with your comments. However, you denigrate yourself by using foul language and, thus, your credibility is questionable.
I’m sure you could have gotten your point across without it!
Nobody can be pressured into doing anything they don’t want to do. The problem is that you caved in to your ex-boyfriend’s wishes. That’s YOU giving your power away! So, stop blaming your boyfriend!
That said, if enough women refused to buy these kinds of shoes, I’m sure the manufacturers would listen and stop making them! No doubt about it!
The same applies to breast implants!
I think it really does depend on the person and the heel. Some heels are made differently, are wider and thus I can run and fight in them. Some heels I refuse to wear simply because they are uncomfortable.
Some women’s feet “fit” heels better — usually those with different kinds of arches — and thus are less prone to get hurt wearing them. Others, as one commenter said, just don’t feel any pain or discomfort at all.
So I really don’t think overarching claims for women not to wear heels are fair, just as it is not fair for there to be over-arching demands for us to wear heels. It depends on the woman, the foot, and the shoe.
Sandie, I don’t think Becky (or anyone else) “denigrates [her]self” or calls her credibility into question for using words you personally find objectionable. You are of course entitled to your opinion, but if you were to doubt everyone who has ever dropped an F-bomb, well, your pool of credible people is going to shrink to less than a puddle.
My larger problem, however, is with your assertion that “Nobody can be pressured into doing anything they don’t want to do.” I must say: “WHAT?” Absolutist much? Solipsism much? NOBODY? We’re all perfectly free of societal pressure? No one can ever coerce, seduce, wheedle, cajole, bribe, trick, threaten, sweet-talk, blackmail, bribe (etc.), anyone into doing anything, ever? Mkay. That must be why billions and billions of dollars are spent on advertising and public relations. Because it doesn’t work. Mm-hm.
[...] A commenter recently weighed in on my language in my rants, specifically my High Heels diatribe. [...]
I totally dated that guy or an approximation thereof! Ultimately, we were able to come to an arrangement like the one you posit. I maintain that certain kinds of shoes are “pointing at the ceiling” shoes. Although, I am generally relieved to be with someone who thinks my legs look great sans weirdly shaped shoes.
I agree with all of your points and feelings on this topic. It’s thornier nowadays because you can’t tell anyone what they should or should not choose, which is fine, but I always feel frustration that so many people are like “Oh well, I like them anyways.” accidentally perpetuating the validation of that choice for reasons other than “I’ve evaluated the controversy and I still like them.”
I’ve come up with a reasonable arrangement with my partners: If they wish for me to wear high heels for any length of time I feel to be inappropriate (1hr is entirely too long, for example, if I’m to be standing up the whole time), he will have to wear that same type of heel for that same amount of time while walking around, etc.
It certainly puts a damper on that kind of guy you described. He very quickly learns respect for you and your nice new Blahniks.
That being said, because of various other medical issues, I can’t wear heels higher than maybe 2 or 3 inches. But even that gets painful.
Chucks are much, much better, though, IMO. And cheaper too! $90 Chucks that I can wear anywhere, and actually walk in, vs. a pair of shoes that came right out of some BDSM enthusiast’s wet dream, that costs half a month’s paycheck? I know which one I’d prefer!
I hate high heels, really, I just don’t very much like them — as a guy. My girlfriend on the other hand, totally loves her heels. As long as it doesn’t stop her from enjoying walks with me, etc etc, I guess everything is fine — I do worry about back / joint pain for her, and occasionally it’s been an issue, but I manage to convince her not to wear tooo high of a heel and she tends to be quite fine, since she’s had so much practice with them.
I have unusually high arches and flats make my feet hurt, so I always have to wear either super-supportive sneaks, or heels. As much as I would love little slip-on Vans, I can’t wear them. It’s not a choice I’ve made from societal pressure or even because I’m short; it’s from comfort.
I personally enjoy wearing heels. They are pretty comfy for me, especially my 4″ platform wedges! They give me height because I am short and I get around well running and walking long distances in them. I walk barefoot on my toes so its not that unnatural for me. I always have been on my toes!
since i had a baby, no heels. in fact, i wear only earth brand, dansko brand, or newbalance athletic. i don’t even look at heels anymore. now, the dansko have a fairly thick sole, so they give me about an inch and a half, but it’s a rocker sole, not sliding towards the toes. i can really recommend danskos-they’re pricey-ish, but i have learned (from knowing my podiatrist too well) that spending on shoes is wise wise wise.
I wore spikes when they were fashionable the last time around, and I swore I’d never wear them if they came back in style.
And I don’t. Same for the pointed toes. Ever see the unbound foot of an elderly Chinese? Google it; you’ll find pix that make you sick… and have very pointy toes!
I completely agree. Generally I wear athletic shoes (’cause I do a ton of walking every day) and will only wear flats to special occasions. I’ve never had a b-friend, but I’d never put up with crap like that if I ever got one. It would be to hell with him.
thanks so much for this posting and all the comments.
i go in and out of fashion and anti-fashion, dolling up and dropping out. most of all i love freedom of movement and comfort so i am a jeans and sneakers girl all the way.
the first guy i dated long term in years broke it off with me partially due to his obsession with ‘sexy’ girls and his need to dominate them.
i had no idea. it was new years, we were partying, then he broke into the truth of himself… that he is a “slutty” dude who prefers “slutty” looking women and he doesn’t want to try to change me to fit his lustful ideal of a woman. i was dumbfounded. why did he date me to begin with?
he mentioned his fetish with (drum roll please)
high heels and that to keep him around i’d need to get with the ‘program’.
needless to say, i walked away in my sneakers, but have been meditating on high heels since.
today i googled the words
high heels and masochism for my own curiosity and came across your page.
its been helpful to hear what women are thinking on the topic from various angles and that there is a dialogue going on about this!
much love to you all!
I don’t wear heels even though I’m only 5 feet tall. When I’m shopping with my mother she always tries to convince me to buy a good ol’ pair of heels (because, according to her, I could use some extra height) and I always refuse. When I tell her that heels are uncomfortable, painful and unhealthy, she says that it’s the price to pay to look good. Who says that I need to be taller to be beautiful, and who says that I’ve got to expose myself to unnecessary harm only to make my legs and ass look good? I feel great with my flats, my sandals and my trainers, thank you very much.
I hate heels. But I lust after them when they’re not on my feet. The lines are so sexy…So I’ve compromised. I hate wearing them, but I love seeing them. So I take pictures of them. Not joking- real honest to goodness portraits of heels. I can’t buy them either, they’re too expensive. But they’re so hot.
[...] it gets better. As it turns out, Alison Lurie is my soul sister, because she immediately ditches that tool of fashion sadism I most despise: I got rid of all my high-heeled shoes. I hadn’t worn them very often since I slipped on an [...]
I live at the top of a massive hill, and I can’t believe the shoes women wear to walk it. Why? As an art piece heels are fine – but they are not realistic.
I can’t agree more. Too many people are pressured into fitting into this ridiculous standard of beauty we create.
There is absolutely no reason to suffer just to look good.
[...] local Mistic Tan, well, you’re free to choose your choice, just like you can choose to wear high heels or pantyhose. But I’m calling bullshit on this trend the way I did on [...]
Reading some of these comments from people complaining about your point of view..seriously? I couldn’t agree with you more. Granted, I’m a little biased. I was born with bilateral clubbed feet, have had to have 2 surgeries on each foot, and I cannot wear heels..my feet don’t bend that way. Watching people struggle to walk in ridiculously high heels though, makes my day. The rare people that CAN actually walk in them, more power to them. But, the ones that think they can and obviouslyyyy can’t….really?
I haven’t been able to wear heels since I broke both my feet in the Army. Now, I just longingly at the pretty heels and wish I could wear them, then remind myself of the pain and torture they cause my poor, innocent feet, who the only harm they caused anyone was kicking my high school sweetheart’s shins in photography class 12 years ago (lol). Thanks for the great piece.
[...] know that I fucking hate high heels. And apparently, I’m not alone–since I wrote my rant about heels back in January, it’s been one of our top-rated posts, still getting a couple hundred hits a [...]
Oh honey, we need to get you into friendly heels. They’re not all angry bunions waiting to happen, you just need to find the right brand, height, and fit for you.
I have no patience for uncomfortable clothes, and I love my heels. I live in downtown Chicago and I get along on concrete sidewalks just fine.
I feel if you have to put so much effort into finding a “comfortable” heel (per Rachael), it’s a waste of time. Shoes are made for supporting your feet, legs, back while moving. That’s not to say they can’t be pretty and cute- that’s what sandals and platforms are for! I could go out and find 1000 adorable flats this afternoon, or I could spend the next week of my life trying on a bunch of heels that may or may not feel comfortable later when I walk/stand in them for hours.
I do like heels and I used to wear them a lot. But living in a city and walking everywhere has made me realize how much they are overrated. I don’t find them nearly as sexy or want them as much as I used to. I always ache when I see women rushing down the streets in their heels, typically walking awkwardly. So I wear flats and I get everywhere faster, I feel safer because I can make a quick getaway if I need it, and I can walk with ease over grates on the sidewalks or stone paths. And I get hit on to the brink of frustration so it’s not like men require heels to find someone sexy. If they do, they need to get a life.
[...] you’re like me, and you hate high heels, well, check out Roni Rabin’s article: High Heels and Pumps Now, Foot Pain Later. The [...]