Don't leave home without it? Via *Solar ikon* @ Flickr.
You’ve seen the ads for years. You deserve it. You’re soooper. Love yourself even more with the help of Our Amazing Product.
What they’re really saying is: We’re going to flatter-insult you until you believe you are special-flawed enough to buy yourself this bottle, tube, or pot of neurotoxic chemicals* to change your appearance so that someone will finally love you, you disgusting fatty.
I’m not taking away your Ibeeeeeeeeeeetha Blonde or your Poison-licious Lip Plumpy. I’ve got better things to do, like asking you to realize what you’re really telling yourself, every time you use it. Even if you bought it because you deserve the best, because it will make your natural beauty shine, because it makes you feel fun and fabulous, what you are telling yourself is that without it and its magic corrective properties, you’re not good enough.
Your sorta-frizzy hair: not good enough. Your soft-ish belly: not good enough. Your teeth-colored teeth: not good enough. Fix it. Fix it all. Then you’ll be ready for and deserving of the promotion, the proposal, or whatever prospect lies before you. How many products do you use on an average workday? How many things are you fixing?
I’m not talking about hygiene (although the line can be blurry, when we use freighted terms like “dirty” and “gross” to refer to perfectly harmless body hair and the like): soap and toothpaste are good things. And no, I’m not denying that nearly everyone (regardless of their sex, gender, or sexuality), wants to be and feel attractive and confident. This is fine. The problem is equating “attractive and confident” with “how well you conform to an false ideal created by people who are in the business of making you feel poorly about yourself in order to sell you stuff,” rather than how you feel about what you do and who you are.
I anticipate protestations (especially given previous posts critiquing other, deeply loved tools of women’s oppression) about how beauty culture is fun! And it really gives me a boost! And it’s an important industry that employs millions of women!
1. Children’s face-painting is fun. Women’s face-painting is all-but-mandatory.
2. Yes, it gives you a boost. I’m wondering why you think you need that boost.
3. I understand the very real economic impact of beauty culture. However, that some women profit from an activity that harms all women is hardly an argument in its favor.
Full disclosure: I’m not above the seductive messages, either. I won’t list the number of things I fix about myself, because I don’t want this to become a contest (If you do more, you lose! If you do less, I’m a hypocrite!). I will freely admit, however, that if I’m going somewhere other than the deli for a stop-gap caffeine fix, I dutifully–and I use that word advisedly–troop into the bathroom to obscure the omnipresent dark circles under my eyes with some beigey-yellow glop.
I do it, but I don’t do it because “I’m worth it.” I do it because I’ve been informed, repeatedly, that having omnipresent dark circles under your eyes is Not Acceptable For Women. They are Embarrassing and Unsightly. They require Fixing. With them, I am not as worthy. And I believe that shit. I believe it, even though I know better.
So I’m not trying to shame anyone simply for using make-up. First of all, I’m in the boat with you, and second, shame (about vanity, frivolity, etc.) is typically about controlling women’s behavior, which I don’t want to do.
I’m trying to name it and claim it for myself, and work on seeing myself as a person, not a perpetually flawed objet d’art. I’m trying to see myself more clearly (inside and outside), and realize how my actions and thoughts about “fixing” myself are deeply rooted in feeling like I’m not enough, just as I am.
It’s hard to do, but I’m worth it. Are you?
*See The Environmental Working Group’s Cosmetic Safety Database.
The same ex who wanted me to wear high-heels also wondered why I didn’t wear more makeup (my usual routine is powder for shininess, concealer for under-eye circles and/or zits and some eyeliner if I’m feeling fancy). If it weren’t *awkward* I’d forward him this post.
This ex, btw, was quite vain and had massive quantities of shaving oils and lotions and potions and upteen bottles of shampoo and conditioners cluttering his bathroom, so I do believe that men are also somewhat susceptible to the lure of Big Cosmetics.
Great post! I too suffer from the dark eye circles, so much so that at times, when I’ve chosen to forgo cover up, I’ve been asked if I got punched in the face or if I’m incredibly sick (the men you work with always know how to give the best compliments! Jerks.). I certainly don’t use cover up or any other makeup because of anything having to do with worth, but rather everything having to do with expectation. When I’m at home with my husband, wearing pajamas and white tees and absolutely no make up, I feel perfectly fine, great even depending on the day. But when I go out, I put on makeup because I it feels like a way to protect myself against comments about my appearance or my health. It’s unfair and unfortunate, but really it’s such a habit now that I hardly even think about, which is perhaps the saddest part of all.
I’m a clear lip gloss and eyeliner type girl because everything else( foundation, blush, lipstick,etc.) just overwhelms me and seems unnecessary. All I really want is clear skin by way of cleansing products not to hide my face with beauty products. But I wonder if even just trying to clear my skin of acne goes into the “hygiene” column or a is it just another beauty ideal.
I didn’t grow up using make-up…or much of anything besides deodorant and chap stick unless I was doing a school play (even then I had to borrow stuff and had no idea how to put it on!). I never even took a hairbrush to school on a regular basis.
When I landed my first job out of college, I started to feel like I need to dress my face up a little, and so when I discovered elf cosmetics (eyeslipsface.com) I went crazygonuts on all the $1 products.
I still just do it when I feel like putting on a disguise of sorts…and then I forget I’m wearing it and smear foundation all over my forearms….
So…score one for the tomboys, I suppose.
Also, I find the discussion of facewash products interesting. I have a friend who periodically goes on campaigns to “Only rinse her face with water twice a day”…I feel like soap was developed for a reason…and acne creams were developed for a reason… so my philosophy is that I’ma use those because greasy and bumpy is uncomfortable as well as unsightly.
Carmindy (from What Not to Wear) really creeps me out in this regard. When she turns the makeover recipient to face the mirror, and tells them, “This is you! I just enhanced what was already there!”
Nooooo, the face who walked into the studio was “her,” and you put a bunch of product on top of her to make her prettier. She pees on people’s shoes and tells them it’s raining.
You know what’s crazy? I really wanted to come up with an argument FOR the adornments. It had something to do with the peacock post. But it just won’t formulate, because you nailed the con entirely too well. (Uh, ?)
Overshare: last night my husband and I were, shall we say, intimate. Afterwards I noted that certain parts of my anatomy were (again, please note how I’m striving for some measure of discretion) particularly fragrant. Upon returning to bed after the cleanup, he was still chuckling at me (yeah, it was funnier coarse) and said “Labeled, if I ordered a steak and it arrived smelling like steak, wouldn’t I be pretty damn happy? I don’t want a steak that smells like roses, or a chocolate milkshake.” I told him I think a lifetime of FDS ads has gotten to me, and my ribeye should smell like roses, at the least.
We laughed, but it was one of those oddly comfortable/uncomfortable moments for both of us. Until we got silly, and started talking about the old Vinegar & Water douche commercials, and how smelling like a vinaigrette or caesar salad can’t be something anyone wanted.
This is why I ignore my mother’s harping on this harpy to wear some damn lipstick. Because this is the way my mouth is, and if someone is not going to like me because of it then I wouldn’t want to date them/befriend them anyway. “Enhancement” is such a crap term.
I wear foundation, concealer, blush, mascara and red lipstick. It looks good, I feel confident and that’s what matters to me. I’ve never been one to follow trends in what color eyeshadows are in for the season because I just don’t care. I’d love to find the perfect facewash/toner/mousturizer combo for my face though. That’s a mystery I fear I’ll never solve.
What pisses me off is that women seem to be evolving to “need” makeup just to look, like, alive. I don’t see men walking around with dark circles and “uneven skintones”. Or maybe I’m just trained to notice that stuff in women? I honestly don’t know anymore.
@ Labeled – have you ever read the Vagina Monologues or erm.. Cunt? Both explore scent and coming to some sort of peace with that.
@ SarahMC – Carmindy could be a rain goddess, you don’t know! I do think make-up skills are good to have, so I appreciate her role on the show, but you’re so right.
I don’t think women are evolving that way, Kivrin. I think people’s perception of women’s looks has evolved to be so warped that women without make-up look wrong whilst men without make-up look normal. Men have uneven skin and undereye circles; they’re just not considered flaws.
have you ever read the Vagina Monologues or erm.. Cunt?
Oddly, I haven’t. Even more odd, is that I’m not sure, in almost 18 yrs of marriage, that it’s something my husband and I have ever talked about.
So, I think I’ll go back to my knitting now, and then off to make sure supper’s on the table by five!
I have a weird relationship with makeup. I usually wear mascara if I’m going to see people I like, mostly because if I don’t people ask me if I look tired, and my lips are prone to extreme chappery (even in summer!) if I don’t constantly layer on balms and glosses. But, as my co-workers tend to say, you can tell when I feel like shit because then I usually work eyeliner in. Despite being Ms. I-totally-use-the-word-patriarchy-in-everday-conversation, I do use these products as crutches for self-esteem on occasion. PhDork is spot-on as always by saying it’s not so much the existence of these products that one wants to attack – it’s the way they slink into our notions of self-worth.
@ labeled – Don’t forget to tie a fresh ribbon in your hair!
@SarahMC: Yeah, I know. It just feels like it must be real, because the perception is so pervasive! I look at myself in the mirror when I’m not wearing makeup, and I think, “Ye gods, I shouldn’t leave the house without covering these dark circles/that zit/whatever.” Boyfriend looks tired or has a zit? I don’t even notice. Thankfully he mock-yells at me every time I put on makeup, tells me I look lovely just as I am. Wish I could believe him!
Great post.
I wear very little makeup but that honestly has more to do with me being too lazy to know how to apply it properly. All I put on my face is sunscreen, foundation, and eyeliner, and even this makes me wonder about myself. Why eyeliner? What exactly does eyeliner do to my eyes that makes me feel like I should bother putting it on? And am I even putting this on right?
Also, thanks to this post, the shoe post, and the handbag post, I’ve come to realize in two days that I am a failure of a woman.
@labeled: I think that story is adorable.
Carmindy does a great job but her sultry cigarette voice and disingenuous pick-me-ups really bug.
I feel like a monster when I don’t have makeup on. I hate that I feel that way.
Kivrin: Rahm Emanuel has definite dark circles, and look at how many women (including me) think he’s sexy.
I kind of feel like a walking contradiction when it comes to this stuff. I barely remember to put on makeup and have never learned to apply eyeliner, and yet I have an ever-growing collection of lip balms, glosses and lipsticks. When I get up it the morning I basically smooth my hands over my hair and go, and yet just last week I spent $45 on special salon curly hair crap.
Interesting post. I own one mascara, one eyeliner and one lipstick which I haven’t worn in five years. But to be honest this has nothing to do with making a stance about make-up and far more to do with the fact that I have no idea how to apply it and never bothered to learn. In the same way I didn’t pluck my eyebrows until I was 26 because of pain issues (I do now submit to this every couple of months) and er I rarely shave anything.
Nor is this unnoticeable because I’m dark and heavy eyebrowed with very dark circles. The truth is that I am actually what my mother’s generation would term a ‘slattern’ but I also have to admit that until I moved to the US it never bothered me. I’ve never had any difficulty attracting people regardless of said hair, bags, failure to wear lipstick or foundation etc.
Then I moved here and I have to admit that suddenly I feel judged and that judging is from other women. I have actually caught women in Manhattan doing that look up and down and tut thing and it amazed me. I mean I personally think a lot of Americans wear too much make-up but I don’t openly tut about it.
Anyway I guess my point is that I think that, in New York at least, there is a very unhealthy and judgemental attitude towards the concept of ‘beautification’. Notably no man in this city has ever been rude about my lack of make-up products.
@ Khrushchev: I promise it was funnier, too.
As for being a failure of a woman, I think that’s kind of the point. Honestly, I think we’re all just damned if we do, damned if we don’t, depending upon who’s doing the damning. (PhDork, et al, I am NOT suggesting you’re doing this.)
The trick seems to be to try to love yourself, find a group of people who like/love you back, and don’t worry so much about the rest. Honestly, we probably all fail on that once in a while as well.
@ratinski: Exactly. Men are allowed to have dark circles and we (a) barely notice these “imperfections,” and (b) still find the men sexy! Mind-boggling.
@emilyanne: That is so true. The grooming thing in Manhattan is waaaaaay out of control. I was 32 when I moved here, and I’d had precisely 2 manicures in my entire life (and one of them was when I got married) – I could not believe that women here had them weekly. And I had worked in women’s mags in London for 6 years prior to that. (Many of the women I worked with there didn’t wear make-up in the day, incidently.)
Also – douches! WTF?! I had not even heard of these things, let alone seen them until I was here. (“Douchbag” I’d heard, but I never knew exactly what it was.)
I know it’s dangerous territory to make sweeping generalizations, but. . . the pressure to conform is worse in America than it is in the UK. There. I said it.
@Diziet_Sma: Further confirmation that I really belong in the UK — thank you! Now if only I can convince the fiancé…
@DizietSpa – the only reason I knew about douches is because of the fine novels of Judith Kranz which enlightened many a dull teenage afternoon. I still don’t really know why you would perform one however.
It is crazy though – the first time I lived here I was 23 and didn’t really notice so much because hey I was a student and it was the Nineties man. This time round it’s crazy – and I’ve worked in women’s mags too – interesting re the lack of make-up that was my experience as well.
Diziet, and look the very useage of the word douche has made me put spa in your name. Apologies.
@Diziet_Sma: Honestly, I don’t think it’s that sweeping of a generalization. I would note though that I think the pressure to groom is more intense in Manhattan (and possibly other urban areas). When I moved here, I was flabbergasted by the amount of work women put into their appearance, and felt like a slob in comparison.
Also, may I rant for a minute? My pet peeve is all those celebrity women who do TV ads for home hair dye – SJP, Andie McDowell, Beyonce, Eva Longoria, I’m talking to you!
AS IF these ladies actually dye their own hair! Honestly, can you see Andie MacDowell with her head over the sink, ‘Mahogany’ hair dye splashed all over the wall tiles and sink?
I don’t know exactly what annoys me more about it, but I can break it down into:
a) The arrogance of advertisers who actually think women believe this myth.
b) Feeling angry on behalf of the women who do believe it, because it means they will waste their money on bad dye jobs, in the mistaken belief their hair will look like the professionally dyed hair of the celeb.
c) That this will make the women disappointed, and thus provoke more spending on crap products that promise so much and deliver so little.
d) Celebs making money from perpetuating this arrogance/myth/disappointment/waste of money.
Argh.
@emilyanne: Ha! And that’s as close to a spa as I’ll ever get!
@Diziet_Sma: Honestly, the concept of dyeing one’s hair at all is bothersome to me, even when you take the celebrities out of the equation. And it’s related: why are men allowed to be distinguished gray whereas women try to keep themselves brunette or blonde or what have you until the last possible second?
I laughed out loud at “teeth colored teeth”. I’ve seen so many whitening commercials, I don’t even know what normal teeth look like anymore.
My problem is my “natural” beauty is covered in pimples. And has invisibly blond eyelashes. And huge pores. And those damn dark circles. So these commercials promising me the fresh, healthy skin of my dreams are completely irresistible. I feel like NOT making the effort to fix these flaws is some how frowned upon even more than having them in the first place. Like I’ve failed the human race by not caring.
Khrushchev, this is actually the one bit where I fall down badly, despite having next to no interest in personal grooming.
And it’s all down to such a stupid thing – when I was ten years old my mother, in all other ways a down-to-earth, practical and non-demanding woman – made a throwaway comment about my hair being ‘mousey’ and it really, really upset me.
I brooded over it for five years and when I was 15 saved up money to have a professional dye job done and er it’s been dyed ever since.
And in my heart of hearts I know that it’s such a stupid thing and also that my hair would a)probably have darkened and b)doesn’t actually look that odd in pictures as a child but it’s the one thing that I was obsessed about from such an early age. I have no problem with going grey though.
Khrushchev, because men are valued from cradle to grave whereas women have an expiration date (and even when we’re valued we’re not exactly respected as human beings). Most women don’t want the world to know they’ve expired.
Emilyanne: I am really in no way judging that choice, because everyone has something that they feel an absolute need to change about themselves. I was thinking about it more in terms of the color to grey transition, which is a process everyone experiences but still, for the most part, feel the need to conceal.
SarahMC: Well, yeah. The relationship between men and their hair is just one that’s sort of fascinating to me, though. Women go grey; they dye it to appear the way they’ve always appeared (unless they get sick of it and stop). Men go grey, which everyone finds perfectly acceptable, so that the occasional man who is uncomfortable with grey hair is pretty well mocked if he chooses to dye it. And the balds are just screwed.
Blondegrlz: “I don’t even know what normal teeth look like anymore.”
That’s exactly the problem. Media images–most of them digitally altered–have warped our perceptions, so that our idea of “normal” has shifted quite radically. And because women (or often *parts* of women) are so often used to sell things, we’re more likely to see unreal images than real ones.
Because beauty (as defined in a given place or time) is too often promoted as women’s primary worth, of course we strive for it. If we do it well enough, we get rewarded: with compliments, attention, opportunities, etc.
I am working on this issue myself, because I think of myself as having bad skin and lank, mousey hair. But no matter what I do, how much time or money I spend, I’m never going to be “good enough” by advertising standards. I mean, if Beyonce has to police herself, what hope is there for me?
The only place there’s hope is in realizing that the system that sets up self-policing station in every woman’s head is one that I want to unplug from, Matrix-style. So I’m cutting back, slowly, and I’m learning what “normal” is for me, rather than using external, purposefully manipulative standards as a rule.
Maybe if you see my dark circles, you’ll think yours are okay, too. And then they’ll become “normal” and hence, invisible. No beigey-yellow glop, and all it symbolizes, required.
My ex-bf’s sister told him I wasn’t good enough because I “don’t bother straightening my hair” and “look, she doesn’t even wear that much make-up! If she was that into you, she’d make more of an effort!”
An effort to WHAT? Spend the first half hour of my day pancaking on make-up, like you do?
Unfortunately, the comments she made still sting, even years later, and it really sent me right back down HS Insecurity Road.
And aside- I’ve starting wearing mascara lately and my bf said, “I like your new mascara, it really makes your eyes pop!” I think I’ve been making him watch too much WNTW.
This so speaks to me after that rambling mess I left in that other thread. I’m kind of weird in that I am the champ at applying makeup and I have some great stuff but I rarely wear it. Not because I’m some brave chick warrior but because I’m a slacker. My favorites are subtle lip glosses, mascara, unnatural eyeshadow colors and nail polishes. I feel fine without makeup for the most part only because I wear glasses most of the time. However when I wear contacts, I will have a crisis without my mascara because I always wanted long, thick dramatic eyelashes. I also want thicker eyebrows. I would wear fake lashes if not for that laziness I just mentioned.
I am much more insecure about my dry hair that I love on the days I’m willing to moisturize it, but would much rather spend that hour or two screwing around on the internet or dancing, so I don’t. I can’t handle having toenail-colored toenails in the summer (especially since my pinky toes look stupid) and will suffer with my sweaty feet in closed-toe shoes if I can’t afford a pedicure and am too busy or lazy to give myself a decent one at home. And I’m really self-conscious about my facial hair because I grow a lot more of it than other women do. Unless you guys have it and just wax it off before I see it and keep that shit a secret. In that case, I wish you would stop because I feel like Teen Wolf over here.
I also have low self-esteem today because I have no idea where my nail clippers are so my nails are horribly uneven and my hands are all scaly. I hate winter because it makes me gross.
The end.
@PhDork: Yes, yes, yes. The lines under my eyes hav been there since I was about ten. But no one in magazines had lines under their eyes. It took me forever to realize everyone in real life had them (because my natural impulse is to think everyone else looks fabulous and be hyper-critical of myself).
@Khrushchev: Good point. When I started dying mine, it was to make a punk-rock point, rather than to look more conventionally ‘attractive’ starting with pink, blue, orange, even green. Wish I had pictures of it all – especially the magenta mohican. Also, don’t feel like a slob – feel like a more advanced human being who has better things to send her time and money on.
@Blondegrlz: Yes – “teeth-colored teeth” made me guffaw (ruefully, as mine are definitely ‘teeth-colored’: English!). Also, it reminded me of Denis Leary’s hilarious rant about how hard it is to get a cup of plain old ‘coffee-flavored coffee’.
@emilyanne: I hear you. I used to have my dark blonde hair highlighted all the time and I think THAT word definitely has a lot to answer for. I had to stop and grow it out when I packed in my job, but I was also curious about what it would look like – I hadn’t seen it ‘natural’ for 20 years. I like it now! It took a bit of getting used to, and on crap days, I think I look a little dull, but I do wonder whether it is all in my head, honestly. I’ve even had a couple of hairdressers compliment the color! The growing out is a bitch, though, for sure.
Oh man, you girls nailed it again! Well communicated!
@rns: I am so weird about the little hairs that I grow on my chin that not only do I wax them weekly, but I get really self-conscious when guys touch my chin.
I wear as little makeup as I can get away with given how many zits I have on a particular day (minimum: concealer and mascara/eyelash curler so I don’t get the “why do you look so sad/tired/etc.” crap; maximum: eyeliner, blush, foundation, eyeshadow). Sometimes, I do all that crap even with clear skin because I consider it pastels for my face, but that’s only for going out and only sometimes. Laziness rules.
I had a super hippie ex once criticize me for dressing up too much. I was like, “Hi, I have a JOB, thankyouverymuch.” If any man criticizes my appearance again, they are in for a stern talking to.
I don’t think dark circles will ever become ‘normal’ as we’ve taken it as a culture as a sign of depression/insomnia/worrying. Which is ridiculous. We all know none of us get enough sleep. And yet we keep telling people they shouldn’t be as tired as we are.
It’s really fake and annoying.
Also, some people strive for perfection in how they treat others, some for perfection in how they ponder existential quandries, others in appearance. I kinda think it’s good that way. Of course, that is not a defense of self-confidence destroying advertising.
@DangerMouse: I am terrified to death of having some guy touch my chin when I haven’t waxed, so much so that if I’m asked out on an impromptu date, my first impulse is to feel my chin and if it’s rough I make up an excuse to not meet up.
In college my aunt and cousins would nag me about not going to the salon and not having my eyebrows and everything groomed and I was like, “What part of I work part time and am in college do you not understand?” But to them it was no excuse because they don’t consider those things optional and would forgo something else (not bills or food or anything, but other extras) to be professionally groomed, but I preferred to spend that extra money on having fun with my friends. And of course they thought I should dress up more because they thought I’d change my mind about trying to pursue a more “important” kind of job. They’ve given up now, though. Thank God.
*standing ovation*
You just made my hangover so much better!
And I 32′d everyone else who said it -I’m just to lazy & haz no make up skillz.
Wow… I’m so glad that other people are feeling the same aversion to makeup that I’ve been struggling with for the past week.
Quite frankly, as a full-time college student and RA, I just don’t have time to put on a full face of makeup every morning at 8 AM. I’d much rather use that time to check my email or grab a quick breakfast. If I have a massive red zit, I’ll put concealer on, but that’s about it. I rarely even put in my contacts.
It also bothers me how much people seem to be averse to curly hair. My hair is naturally thick and frizzy, and I use a spray to make it curlier. I don’t get the need to straighten one’s hair every morning, especially in the South (where I live) where the humidity makes it curl up halfway through the day.
To be honest, I’ve noticed that I, personally, feel far prettier and more confident when I’m just in jeans and a t-shirt and without makeup. It’s an ongoing struggle, but I feel like stepping away from the traditional view of what is “pretty” makes me actually start to like the way I look, which I never did.
So…yeah. Thanks.
p.s. this is my first comment!
@mkp-hearts-nyc – I totally relate. I’ve had a lot of trouble being confident of my identity because I’m so damn genderqueer, but I really do feel like a failed woman because I have no clue about makeup, and when I attempt to use it I end up smearing it all over the place.
@PhDork – really I’ve never heard anyone explain the situation with such wit! You are truly my new feminist hero, probably along with every new author I discover on this blog. I really relate to the internal conflict. I hate the whole beauty myth but at the same time I’m a victim of it. I hardly ever wear makeup except when I go out to shows (because the theatrical aspect is neat and I always look better in the pictures). But I worry quite a bit about how fat I look.
The thing that drives me NUTS is discovering NEW things to worry about. For example as Kivrin said, “uneven skin tones” (?!?!) or badly trimmed eyebrows or all kinds of nitpicky stuff. Every time I hear a new one I really freak out because I imagine that a lot of women are probably judging me in ways I didn’t even know existed!
I’ve really been meaning to blog all of this myself but this is as far as I’ve got so far: http://obifferson.blogspot.com/2008/11/nail-polish-is-oppressive-tool-of.html
This Harpy blog has really made me realize that I kind of want to grow up to be you guys. I think.
Blondegrlz: “My problem is my “natural” beauty is covered in pimples. And has invisibly blond eyelashes. And huge pores. And those damn dark circles.”
I hear ya, I’m a natural blonde with superblonde superinivisible eyelashes and eyebrows, too. But I gave up everything except lipstick a little over a month ago, and hardly anyone has even noticed.
Women’s skin is physically thinner than men’s, so it’s more likely to show any inherent discoloration and unevenness. But we prize “ruggedness” in men, so for example a guy with severely acne-scarred skin isn’t considered a total freak (Edward James Olmos), as a comparable woman would be.
Thankfully, the whole makeup thing stopped being a big deal for me in the middle of highschool. I wore it every day in grade 9 and 10, and then towards the end of grade 10, I woke up one morning, looked at myself in the mirror, and thought “I’m adorable! I don’t need makeup!” Now I only wear it for extremely special occasions (formals, weddings, etc). Being naturally covered in freckles helps – my skin tone was never meant to be even! So why bother?
Also, “teeth-coloured teeth” made me laugh. Mine are as teeth-coloured as they come.
I have been wishing I could hear someone say this for so long. THANK YOU.
I dye my hair blonde (as well as black, pink, red, blue or whatever colour I feel like. These days I like it blonde)
I put on make up before I go out.
I wear a push-up bra.
I like to wear dresses.
I love buying shoes.
I also have piercings and tattoos.
These things make me happy. I don’t dress up and look and look pretty for anyone but me. I’m aware of how superficial it all is, I take a shower and my “beauty” washes away. I still pretty with no make up though.
I don’t work on appearance for anyone’s viewing pleasure but my own. Others can appreciate my appearance, but they had best not expect it of me. There are times I go out with no make up and my hair simply pulled into a pony tail and I feel just as liberated as when I spend time doing my makeup.
I get your point though, I just don’t feel opressed when I wear makeup.
a sidenote though…a light pinky-peach colour will probably work better to cover up dark circles if you’re truly worried about them.