Via Nathan Ward @ Flickr
Today marks America’s secular Christmas: Superbowl Sunday. In honor of the occasion I will be making 7-layer dip and insanely hot chili. I have not yet decided whom to root for, although I tend to gravitate to the NFC, as both my hometown team and my adopted hometown team are in the NFC East. Now, all this week I’ve been getting invitations to “football widow” parties and “alternative Superbowl” shindigs, held by girlfriends who could care less about halftime spectaculars and total rushing yards. These invites have led me to out myself as a football fan and my coming-out has been a bit rocky, with a lot of “You? Really?” and “I didn’t think you’d like something so…macho” and my favorite: “Holy shit, did you grow a dick?” Ladies, the answer is yes, yes, and I sure hope not, because I have a date after the game.
Why do I love football, you ask? Well, I blame the patriarchy, specifically my own personal household patriarchy. Allow me to explain….
My love of football can be traced directly back to my love of my stepdad, who raised me from the time I was 7 years old. Tall, strong and as blondely All-American as Terry Bradshaw crossed with Robert Redford, he led his high school team to a state championship and was recruited for a college IA team by the legendary coach Lou Holtz. But if you think I grew up in a macho, dick-centric home, think again. Despite his sizeable build and devotion to smashmouth plays, Dad is that rarest of creatures: the gentleman athlete, unfailingly polite, gentle and thoughtful. And although he would never describe himself thusly, he is a bonafide feminist. There was nothing my sisters and I could not do, no pursuit he did not encourage. If I was a little aggressive on the playground or quick with a sharp remark, he was just fine with that (unlike my natural father, who has never been comfortable with my harpy-ness).
I knew, though, that Dad would never sit in the bleachers and cheer me on. That rankled. It appears I am not the only one to feel that way; in her memoir, Fifth Quarter, Jennifer Allen, daughter of revered NFL coach George Allen (and sister of former Virginia governor George “Macaca” Allen), fantasizes about throwing off her girly-ness in favor of the game that dominated every aspect of her family’s life: “I envisioned my frilly ballet tutu transforming into sleek football pants, my tight leotard into a loose jersey, my satin slippers into stiff cleated shoes. My long brown hair streamed down my back of my helmet as I ran onto my field of dreams and I thought I could hear the announcer scream, “The former Miss America, now the first pro-football girl in the NFL. Jennifer! Jennifer! Jennifer!” Sigh. Yeah. Me too.
The more I learned about football, the clearer it became that the gridiron is the last bastion of complete male dominance in sports. It is the clubhouse with the “no girls allowed” sign slapped on the door. Even Title IX—that great leveler of the playing field—has failed to open the door to women who want to play. There are no high school or college football teams for women as there are for soccer, basketball, tennis, lacrosse, etc., although that has not stopped the bitching and moaning that Title IX forces them to cut other sports for men in order to sponsor their football programs. The very few girls who play on boy’s in high school almost always have to play in low-contact positions like placekicker. If those very few girls make it to NCAA-level football, the misogyny is so pervasive and toxic that the few trailblazers who have played for college teams have quit or changed schools in disgust. Colorado placekicker Katie Hnida’s experience–which included near-constant sexual harassment as well as rape by a teammate–led to a massive civil and criminal investigation of the University of Colorado’s football program in 2004. At the time, bestselling sportswriter Rick Reilly blasted Colorado and the NCAA in a Sports Illustrated editorial, saying: “You show me a coach who maintains he’s unaware of recruiting parties featuring paid strippers, of four alleged rapes, of sexual harassment claims by one of his players against other players, and I’ll show you a coach who is hell-bent on not knowing.” I had breakfast with Katie Hnida several years ago when she published a book about her experience at Colorado, and our conversation pretty much killed my appetite for both my scrambled eggs and for college football. (She was, by the way, a poised, articulate, and gracious woman with far more strength of character than the entire UC team and coaching staff put together).
So do I have to turn in my feminist card for loving football? Feel free to weigh in, because I go back and forth. Some days I feel like a traitor to womanity for loving a sport that so obviously excludes women, or relegates them to booty-shaking sideline buffoonery (and yes, I realize some of you were cheerleaders–you may flame me in the comments.) I can only fall back on why I love the sport in the first place: because I was raised in a family where feminism and football were not at all incompatible. And my Dad was not alone–there are millions of men and women like us who love the game for the good things it exemplifies: teamwork, sportsmanship, respect for rules, physical strength and agility, and a really, really fun way to spend time with friends and family on a Friday—or Sunday, or Monday—night.
I’ve never been able to figure out whether my lack of interest in football was due to an inherent disinterest in learning the rules (I have in adulthood, but still) or a complete inability to sit still for more than a few minutes.
Given my additional disinterest in baseball, I suspect the latter. I can watch hockey, soccer, or basketball without too much trouble, but my favorite sports to watch are things like women’s gymnastics, which contains quick, exciting units (and is usually recorded for TV so that you don’t wait long in between).
Tonight, I will go to a superbowl party (I am living in Pittsburgh), but I admit that it is more to hang out with friends than to watch the game. I hope there’s 7-layer dip….
I don’t think you need to feel like a traitor for loving football. Sure it is demeaning to woman…but the last time i checked what society portrays as womanly conduct really doesn’t add up to the real women in society. I have realized that society will always label women as this dinky bimbo…I know that’s not me so I take everything with a grain of salt. Sure women need to unite and try to remedy these stereotypes of women but we also need to join the life and hobbies and interest (even if they include sport such as football) we all have. I think you pick your battles when living life as a feminist and a woman. As for today I will be my big feminist self rooting for the Cardinals!
It saddens my former quarterback father that none of his children – and there are three of us – really like football. I didn’t go to games in college, I only watch if its NCAA – specifically if its Wisconsin. Like DangerMouse, it’s pretty much because it bores me. I do better with faster moving sports.
Hockey, though, is my religion. Growing up, Mom and I would commandeer the tv anytime the St. Louis Blues (her team) played the Chicago Blackhawks (mine) and throw popcorn at each other when there was a goal. My obsession was cemented in college, when I went to school in Minnesota.
Sports, eh. I’d rather be doing something than watching something.
I soured on playing sports while in fifth grade basketball — I never got to play in a single game. Benchwarmer all season — did winning really matter so much at that level?
You can absolutely be a feminist and enjoy football.
Personally, I was not raised in a pro-sports household. Not many teams to root for in Arkansas, but I do love me some college football, PIG SOOIE! I am married to an all-out Denver Broncos fanatic, and they’ve been really disappointing lately– still this does not shake his fandom. I will be attending a superbowl party today, and I’ve already got my chili going in the crock pot. I admit that before this week, I thought the only Cardinals played baseball in St. Louis. I’m not really going to be rooting for anyone today.
I love football. No sport can ever compare in my opinion. I have no idea if it’s feminist or not I just know that there is no better use for a Sunday afternoon than sitting around for hours drinking beer and watching football. Oh, and Saturday for NCAA games. I’m rooting for the Cards, I have to! I’m a Lions fan, or “fan” so you know, I root for the underdog.
I dunno, does liking Woody Allen movies make me a traitor to my race?
Well, I could quote Chomsky on the role of spectator sports in keeping the populace in line, but, you know, whatever turns you on, ladies. I think it’s worth it for the thrill of knowing so many other people in the country are watching it at the same time as you are – we rarely get that opportunity nowadays.
@Macloserboy: no more than my disliking them makes me a traitor to my tribe. (and b/c Chris Rock talks all the time about how much he loves Woody, so you’re not the only one)
@funnyface: I know, I was like “the Cardinals?” In Arizona? O rly? I hardly remembered they were even playing anymore.
I like the “Best Dad Ever” tag.
Given that I am completely obsessed with baseball, I can certainly understand your passion for the pigskin. While I agree that football is probably the most sexist of the major sports, I am hoping that might change as they realize the steady increase in percentage of women viewers for the Super Bowl. The commercials are a barometer of how the sport could potentially feel an impetus to be more welcoming of female fans.
I love football, have grown up watching it since I can remember. My TRUE love for football came when I actually PLAYED football in HS. We made a PowerPuff League (wonderful name, yes) during Homecoming, during HS and it was the only time I would actively participate in such shenanigans.
I played WR for 3 years, for 1 month out of the year, and grew to love learning strategy, kicking up my physical fitness (far different from my dance training) and relished watching the football team gawk at our skills. (our football team counterparts were our coaches)
These things suited me well, later on, when I played roller derby and remembered what it felt like to run strategic plays and take a hit.
Am I disgusted by the culture? Yes. Am I turned off by most male football fans? Yes.
But, if you must turn in your feminist card, then I must, as well. So, I guess we start a new group….
Feeling like a traitor/not a woman for liking football? That is such a foreign and unknown concept for me. And I have to say, this weekend I got pretty turned off Jezebel.com for being all OMG IT IZ SUPERBOWL AND THAT IZ NOT FOR LADEEZ! LET US WHINE ABOUT HOW ANNOYING IT IZ AND DO WOMAN THINGS.
You can be female and as girly as you want or don’t want to be and still understand and enjoy the game of football. And quite frankly, out of my handful of friends in the greater Boston area, I am the only one that avidly watches and enjoys the NFL. The majority of my friends are male, and they either don’t even understand or know anything about football or are not into sports at all.
I love sports, I always have. From basketball to boxing to soccer to hockey. And football is one of my most beloved. Of course, I never got to experience it on the field the way all my buddies growing up did. Except for pickup games and fooling around as such. But I grew up in a football town with a football life and not even both my parents are into it that much. Well, my Daddy was a fan all his life, but not rabid. And my mom is clueless.
I just get irked when people assume you cannot be female + football fan. Which, I would liken to assuming you cannot be male + ballet dancer/fan. It’s ignorance.
I will not go so far to say the the commercialism and culture of the NFL has gone insane, and is annoying. I would give my figurative left nut to watch a game all the way through sans announcers/commercials, but I can’t help it. I love the game. High school, college, professional level…I love the game.
However, the Cardinals? WTF? Did they not get the memo that said: ATTN: U R IN TEH SUPERBOWL! because christ, they played like completely clueless asshats!
@halakahiki82: Rock on!
The Cards played like completely clueless asshats, but goddammit, they were THISCLOSE to winning!
@BeckySharper: *thisclose* to winning, but mainly because the Steelers just GAVE THE F UP. and didn’t even try (WTF SAFETY?!) Oh and anytime I see hints of that dreaded tuck rule I am full of stabbity stabbity rage.
I’m a woman and football is probably my favorite sport to watch. Regardless of how brutish the action may seem, the game itself is very intellectual and strategic. When to go for a short pass, when to go for a long run, is there going to be a blitz, can we pick up the first down at 4th and inches? What about 4th and a foot and half? Should we blitz, how many people should we cover that guy with, should we call for a fair catch? And my ultimate favorites, the trick plays and surprises. Flea flicker, fake field goal, and the 100-yard interception for a touchdown in the Super Bowl. No other professional sport seems to me to have so much going on, strategically, as football.