I fucking hate padded bras.
Frankly, I’ve never been a huge fan of bras in general. Being a lifelong member of the itty-bitty titty committee meant I didn’t get one until I was a teenager, and, to be honest, that had more to do with my pride than with actual necessity. Even now, I only barely fill a B cup, and that’s if the bra is sized on the small side.
There are a lot of advantages to a petite rack: little to no sagging, slim-cut clothes fit well, halter necks and tank tops require no undergarments, my back and shoulders don’t get sore and I never need an uncomfortable underwire. And while men’s magazines and the porn business show a decided preference for humongous flotation devices, my small breasts have drawn nothing but compliments—and often raves—from the menz.
So why the fuck do retailers keep trying to sell me a padded bra?
Every single time I go into a Victoria’s Secret, the saleslady will, without fail, steer me towards a “miracle bra” or a “gel bra” or a “water bra” that will, in effect, give me a boob job for under $100. For all of my teens and 20s, the only A cup bras that Victoria’s Secret carried were so thickly padded they stood up like grain silos. The message was clear: your small breasts—pert and gravity-defying though they may be—do not look good. They need help. You need help.
I remember exploding in frustration at one V.S. saleslady who couldn’t comprehend that I did not want to look like I had bigger breasts. I wanted a pretty bra that fit the ones I had. While that had a lot to do with body image, it was also purely practical. Padded bras may give you good sweater meat, or squeeze some extra cleavage into your neckline, but they’re entirely deceptive; the moment the clothes come off or your date cops a feel, the game is up. I wasn’t interested in giving my boyfriend a handful of padding—I wanted him to get a handful of me.
It was a revelation when I moved to New York and discovered specialty lingerie shops. No more chain or department stores where anything less than a B meant a bra with extra stuffing. At Town Shop on the Upper West Side, a little old lady with a German accent kitted me out with gorgeous—and affordable!—lace and satin bras that fit, and flattered, and had no padding at all. (FYI: Calvin Klein, Felina and Wacoal all make lovely A cup bras.)
Breasts are inextricably linked to our womanly self-image, as my harpy sister Sarah shared with us in the story of her own mammaries. Clearly American women buy into the propaganda that bigger is better: the most popular plastic surgery in the US is breast augmentation and the most popular bras on the market are the kind that claim to increase your cup size. But mine are small, and they’re spectacular. So put the padding away, Victoria. I’m keeping it real. Kthx.
Retailers try to sell you a padded bra because they don’t realize you’re a harpy who, unlike a lot of other women, doesn’t feel the need to “inflate” the size of her chest!
I’m the same size as you, and in high school, I refused even a soft cup as false advertising. I have cracked though–in part due to cold weather nipple headlights, and in part owing to the fact that it’s damn near impossible to find something that’s not a soft cup.
No pushups though. NO. NONONO.
Calvin Klein bras and I are friends. I go between 34b/36a and they are awesome. I buy their t-shirt bras at Marshall’s and Filene’s Basement. http://www.cku.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2981164&cp=3001613.3001635.3001640.3001606&parentPage=family
@SarahMC: Also, my harpy claws are murder on those water bras!
@DangerMouse: I too have given in to the “lightly lined” bras so I don’t walk around the office looking nipple-y (or, as my sister calls it, “smuggling raisins.”) But those aren’t the plunge-y padded monstrosities salesladies are always pushing on me.
I third the recommendation for CK bras! They’re awesome and not too expensive.
I’m not wearing a bra today because I got a tattoo on my shoulder this weekend that would be rubbed by the strap. Really the only reason I wear them is for nipple coverage. I should just get more undershirts.
I have gigantic breasts, but I totally don’t get padded bras. The weird thing is, they even come in my size! Now, Triple-Ds don’t need padding, so I really don’t get the cultural obsession with it. The only thing I can think is that padding changes the shape to make my watermelons more pleasing? Or it hides the nipple? Who knows.
I don’t need to “advertise” my D-cups, and yet I struggle to find bras in my size without pads. Okay, they’re not terribly hard to find, but the ones without pads tend to come in styles I must refer to as “Brunnhilde” and “The Gladys.” I’m not sure which is worse.
Becky, I always referred to raisin-smuggling as “having your headlights on” or “PARTY HATS!”
Just so you know, VS sells all of their bras in grain-silo padding. I’m a D, and until the new “padded for your size” line (still insulting to smaller sizes, I dig) came out, every bra in the store pushed me up a size. I remember asking a sales person once, “when does the padding become unnecessary?!” Sadly, she was 16 and confused by the question.
::sigh::
So if I wore a padded bra, I would look like Hobbit Barbie. Plus, I might try squeezing them like bean bags all day long. Squishy!
In an effort to steel my ovaries for better feminist oversharing, I offer the following: I do wear padded bras, but mostly because I am convinced that the shapes of my breasts (which do vary!) are odd and unattractive. Padded bras allow me to ignore my concerns about this most of the time.
And having spent much time with PhDork I had no idea she had D-cups!
@Pilgrim Soul: And having spent much time with you I had no idea your breasts were odd or unattractive! And I don’t think I will ever see them that way.
I’ve found out through some experimenting that my DDs are actually less advertised with a padded bra than without. In the latter case my nipples will show through several layers of clothing and I’m tired of saying, “look, oglypants, I’m just freezing, not (necessarily) happy to see you”.
@sarah.of.a…: “Hobbit Barbie” is the funniest thing in the History of Ever.
And P.Soul, I try to downplay the jugs, generally speaking. They generally don’t bring the type of attention I find flattering.
I wear padded bras on occasion more for the shape that they provide than out of a desire to look bigger than I am. However, I recently lost some weight and my boobs went from a D to a B. While I don’t dislike the size I am now and still love my breasts, it has been an adjustment for me to get used to the smaller breasts. I didn’t realize how much of my sexual confidence and identity came from my boobs. I’m still getting used to my smaller breasts and do miss my cleavage sometimes.
But I hate that society tells women with small breasts that they need to change themselves. A C cup in no way makes a woman more “womanly” or attractive than an A cup. Fuck you, Maxim and Playboy. Fuck you.
@P.Soul, Sarah, PhDork: I think your breasts are all wonderful, although I confess, I’ve never given them too much thought (well, maybe yours Sarah, b/c you wrote about them).
Also, PhDork hits on another breast-related issue: unwanted attention. Small breasts = less leering/piggish comments.
What do you think about my breasts, Becky?
@SarahMC: I seem to recall them being larger than mine. Frankly, that’s about the only thing I notice with regards to other women’s breasts, unless they’re really odd-looking or hideously fake, which yours are not.
@Sarah: Frankly, I can’t stop thinking about them.
Yeah to be honest I don’t really notice other people’s breasts, I just obssess about my own. I blame the patriarchy.
My left breast is almost a full cup bigger than my right, and according to witnesses you can’t tell the difference, but I still bought my first padded push up bra in January (I’m quite large, and it was the first non-granny push up that didn’t make me punch myself in the face when I walked) mostly for the comfort, not to be comfortable. Soft cups will always win the comfortable category despite nipples sometimes shifting in transport.
Sometimes its just nice to know that no matter how much I move or how cold it gets, my chest will look the same through my clothes, no periodic adjustments needed.
I think I must be really lucky in the boob department, because I can find my size in any style I want. So, um, hooray for 34Cs? I used to push ‘em up on the daily in my early 20s, but now I mostly save the uncomfortable underwire stuff for the rare occasion when I want to render the fiancé unable to concentrate.
As a larger chested woman, I have to go with lightly padded bras, just to keep from poking an eye out. Lately, the nips have been harder to keep under wraps, so I’ve had to use “petals” to keep them under control because 1- I work with all guys and 2- they point in distinctly different directions.
They make padded NURSING BRAS. If there’s anyone who doesn’t need a bra to give the illusion of bigger boobs, it’s a nursing woman. Also, nice to know that even when you’re buying a bra to enable you to easily perform a useful function, they’re still *really* just there to be ogled.
I was once laughed out of Victoria’s Secret because the salesgirl informed me “we don’t carry anything that small.” THANKS. That was in high school. Since I went on the pill, I’m now a B cup, and I still hate padded bras. I’ll wear a soft-molded-cup to prevent showing nips, but I don’t want no stinkin’ padding.
Slightly related: I’m starting to notice my boobs changing texture as I get older. I swear they’re smooshier lately. So far I kinda like it.
Oh, the lack of non-padded bras at Victoria’s Secret drives me mad, too! I wear a 34D and, without padding, feel quite nice and in proportion. With padding, I feel like an insane Playboy Bunny.
At the smaller end of the market, the insult (as you wrote) is in the idea that we all want to look bustier; at the larger end, the insult is that we all want to look like a cartoon.
Kivrin — oh so YOU’RE the mysterious 34 C. There can’t be that many of you because it seems like it’s the only size ever left at TJ Maxx.
I’m a D cup but have trouble finding bras that have wider or better yet, padded straps (yay comfort)…yet aren’t the minimizer kind.
Oh, alix, I gave up on padded straps years ago–they are included in “The Gladys” models I mentioned above.
And Maritsa, I’ve never had the occasion to shop for nursing bras, and so despite my fairly good grasp of the nefarious reaches of the Patriarchy’s noxious tentacles, I am still gobsmacked to learn that nursing bras come w/ padding. MOAR BOOBS! (JUST DON’T FEED YOUR KID IN PUBLIC WITH ‘EM!)
Amen, sister. If only I could find bras that cover my nipples when the AC is too high AND stay on my shoulders…for less that $50. Then again, why should I have to cover my nipples? Men have hard little nips showing through their shirts all the time. Why is it that when I do, I get comments about my “headlights”?
Hooks in the front for cryin’ out loud. Hooks in the front. That’s all I have to say about that.
@jdregent: Ha, this is true — I never have trouble finding bras at T.J. Maxx!
It’s funny – I wear the padded ones mainly because they’re easiest to find, and some of those VS ones fit me well and never wear out, but I never felt the need to make my boobs look bigger. Yet when I bought an unpadded bra recently I felt like my boobs looked small.
And while I’m ranting about Victoria’s Secret, I’d like to add my two cents that I’m sick of not being able to find 38B’s there:-)
Lastly, I miss those Filene’s Basement $6 bras even after I moved to the West Cost I’d still stock up on my annual trip to Boston
it’s one thing if a bra is padded to inflate your cup size. it’s another thing if the bra is padded so that you aren’t shooting bullets through every shirt and sweater you own.
personally, i take the latter, and as much as guys get turned on by seeing a woman’s nipples through her shirt, save it for the bedroom and not the sidewalk because i personally don’t care to see nipples through the shirt and in many instances it’s too obvious to ignore.
Okay, I’m guilty of wearing padded bra’s but it’s mainly because:
1. I find them comfy.
2. Nipple coverage.
3. Dispite the fact my tiny boobs are probably a normal shape, the media has brainwashed me into thinking they are funny looking.
But it’s not to make them look bigger.
I usually wear soft cup – again, nipple coverage – and I avoid the padding. I’m a 32D, which sounds big, but really isn’t. I just have trouble finding my size, period. Does anyone have any recommendations for a brand that makes a t-shirt bra that in my size? CK doesn’t
.
What’s everybody’s beef with showing a little nipple?
Um, this may be my lack of needing a nursing bra showing, but I thought NB’s had padding in them to absorb leaking? I’m totally wrong here?
@laverge: Because the patriarchy assumes that pointy nipples = aroused = you want attention/assault.
[...] that to be feminine and attractive, I need to get dolled up in patriarchy-approved high heels or “miracle” bras or anything else that’s meant to put my body on display. I can also be found ranting [...]
I actually like padded bras. In part, I like the way I look in them. But I also like that they keep my boobs warm. I have really sensitive breasts in general, the nipples especially, and keeping them warm minimizes the pain. Also, nothing (and no one) can accidentally brush against them or anything, which makes me a happy, pain-free camper. I don’t really care if my boyfriend can grab a handful whenever he likes. They’re not his to grab, thank you.
@cordi – No, the padding I’m taking about is not absorbent, it’s regular padding like you’d find in any bra. I don’t know anyone who relies on her bra to protect against leakage, everyone uses breast pads you stick in your bra.
I buy practically all my underwear at Gap Body. Everything’s so soft and comfy. Maybe they have your size, Jenny.
I think the whole ‘headlights’ thing is an example of how a woman’s body is sexualized, even though the truth is that if the AC was NOT down to 50 degrees whenever it got up to 70, everyone would be fine.
I have DD’s and I would kill for smaller boobs. I’ve purposely avoided padded bras for lots of the reasons mentioned above, but mostly because I was sick of being all boobs and nothing else. I have a really hard time finding cute bras that fit for a reasonable price, which rules out half of them for padding.
I’m a big fan of push-up bras. I wasn’t one before, until I started dressing much more showier and saw how useful they can be. I have always wondered, even prior to my love affair with push-ups, about how bras in general are not meant to show off our actual shape, and how hard it can be to find a bra that does.
I like how my boobs look like they’re being thrust up in a certain type of bra – there’s something aggressive about that. When I take it off – I instantly look softer and more vulnerable, and I feel pretty sexy, going from one state to another. Especially in bed.
I think that enjoyment or dislike of certain garments or styles is at least in part predicated on one’s views towards personal body modification.
I also agree about Calvin Klein and Wacoal (haven’t tried Felina). Generally cheaper and better made than VS – with a wider variety of styles to pick from. I have honestly never understood the popularity of VS to begin with. They’re just not *nice* bras.
Victoria’s Secret is the work of the devil anyway. The only thing I ever buy is their cotton bikini knickers when they’re on sale. Everything else there looks like it’s designed for aspiring strippers.
I am anti-VS myself. Although I hadn’t bought anything else in ages because I think their stuff is over priced and of middling-to-poor quality, and moreover, because I think their advertising is crappy and damaging to women. And then I went to see Reverend Billy a few years ago (VS is/was one of his “favorite” exorcism sites), and I learned that the company clear-cuts Canadian forests (save Canada!) to make its zillions of crappy catalogs. In my experience, there’s no good reason to shop there, and every good reason to girlcott it.
Jenny, I’m also a 32 D and I’ve found that a decent t-shirt bra is the La Mystere Tisha Bra (moulded cup). Slightly on the expensive side, but it was my first “real” bra (and the first one I ever bought after getting properly measured!) and it changed my life–I love the smooth look I get with shirts! I’ve also found some great bras in 32D by Wacoal (including b.tempted, their “sassier” line) and Chantelle also does some decent 32 D’s as well.
My two cents on VS– the last time I attempted to purchase something there (I’ve officially given up now), the sales person trying to measure me did it completely wrong and told me I was an A cup. I’m fairly sure she wasn’t even looking at my chest, because hi, totally not an A cup. I laughed politely in her face and left the Store of Total Incompetence and Fail.
[...] “Put a bra on!” Maybe I already am one of those women. BeckySharper has had it with padded bras; I’ve had it with all bras. I wear a bra to work every day and begrudgingly slip one on if [...]
Even though I am a 38AA I prefer to wear a bra. I like the different styles and colors available. My favorite is unpadded full coverage.
I am a plus size, had recently bought two underwire nursing bras both did not fit me well, It could well have been a matter of not understanding things about proper shapes and sizes of nursing bras. I think these tips which you share are really good ones, will definitely take care of these the next time I decide on purchasing nursing bras for me!