Comments on: I Feel Hopeless

By: aspiringexpatriate

aspiringexpatriate — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:15:42 +0000

But are we even making any headway?

If it’s 20%, then, well, yes, I would say that’s headway compared to twenty years ago.

By: SarahMC

SarahMC — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:36:54 +0000

Funnyface, that’s what Yes Means Yes is about. It’s amazing to envision a world wherein “yes” is the standard rather than “no.”

By: jdregent

jdregent — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:46:41 +0000

HA HA HA/vomit/shiver. he SMELLED bad? interesting. i usually found law school assholes to be impeccably groomed. so i guess you’re saying contract law is no better? i haven’t thought about contracts since like 2003, so I’m just throwing shit out there.

By: Mama Penguino

Mama Penguino — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:32:34 +0000

jdregent: This reminds me of the time I went to see Leaving Las Vegas with two guys from law school. One was my BFF, but the other guy was his dorky friend who was a complete bastard. I didn’t know the jerk was coming with and so imagine my horror when during the movie, my BFF gets up and moves to sit a row away from me and the jerk. Later, I sent him an e-mail that said, “How could you have left me sitting there during a rape scene (he knew I’d been raped) with a person who thinks the remedy for the same can be found in Article 2 of the UCC?” Little did I know that the jerk would be reading BFF’s e-mail over his shoulder and his response was, apparently, “Hey, that’s not a bad idea!” Ugh. Oh, and why he moved? The BFF said the jerk smelled bad and he had to get away from him. ???

By: jdregent

jdregent — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:21:14 +0000

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to use contract principles instead of criminal law to regulate consent in sex. But I’m sure that is a black hole of horror as well.

By: funnyface

funnyface — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:44:09 +0000

This makes me want to cry, except I can’t, because I’m at work. Clearly “no means no” didn’t go far enough. We need an “ONLY yes means yes” campaign. Unless you have clear CONSENT to sex, you should not have sex. Period.

Crazily enough, I originally got this idea from a sex book intended for married Christians. The author, whom I’m sure I could find many points of disagreement with otherwise, actually suggested that husbands should always have clear, vocal consent from their wives before they penetrate them in any way, and pointed to past trauma as a particular reason to always get clear consent that it is OK to proceed with penetration. Not something you usually hear from the kinds of folks who usually seem to suggest that the very fact of being a wife (or a woman) is all the consent a woman needs to give. But I think in light of this article, in which you’re responsible for sex if you somehow don’t get your “no” across clearly enough, as if consent is default, that an “ONLY YES MEANS YES” campaign is really necessary.

By: Khrushchev

Khrushchev — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:47:25 +0000

I can’t even come up with a coherent comment on this. What can we possibly do? This isn’t something a letter-writing campaign can solve. This is just how some people think.

By: jdregent

jdregent — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:09:22 +0000

It looks like the older crowd was most likely to hold women responsible for their own rapes, but I find it incredibly shocking that 25-39 year olds are the most likely to think it is ok to hit a woman in “some circumstances.” What does that mean? Why does the younger (but not youngest) generation actually accept violence MORE than their elders? I really have no words and feel devoid of insight.

By: Kivrin

Kivrin — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:04:24 +0000

"In other words, they consider sexual availability and willingness women’s default." Well, to be fair, women do walk around with our vaginas all open and just ready to be f**ked. Why can't we be more like men, with some sort of flaccid appendage to indicate our unwillingness? /sad, sad sarcasm