Gentle readers, I do so enjoy bringing you grotesque of “journalism” from time to time. Like a svelte feminist pussycat with a dead, fleabitten rat, I am delighted to drop them upon your doorstep and wait for the ruckus to begin. Y’all never disappoint.
And yet, when PhDork sent me this piece of op-ed fuckery from the Irish Times, I was less interested in presenting it to you than ripping it to shreds with my claws and burying the pulpy bits out back behind the garbage cans. Because that’s the response this dead, fleabitten rat of an op-ed piece deserves and, frankly, it just might be the response the author himself deserves.
The piece, courtesy of one Newton Emerson, is entitled “Working Women Almost Certainly Caused the Credit Crunch“, and frankly, that’s the most neutral and logical sentence in the entire essay. Click at your own risk. If you have high blood pressure or rage epilepsy, you might want to go here instead.
Still with me? Okay. Here you go:
The answer to all our problems is staring us in the face. It may even be quite literally staring at you, right now, across the breakfast table.
So put the paper down, stare back and ask yourself a selfless question.
Does the woman in your life really need a job?
Oh yeah. He went there. And it’s allllll downhill from here.
Of course there will always be a place in the world of business for exceptional women. Women also have an important role to play in jobs that are too demeaning for men, like teaching.
That high pitched shriek of pure homicidal rage you hear is MamaSharper, Ph.D, lifelong educator, former elementary school principal and currently superintendent of a large public school system. Mr. Emerson, I recommend you drop into a protective crouch and cover your groin immediately.
Consider the issue of unemployment. There were 221,301 men on the live register last month and just under one million women in work.
Surely at least half these women have a partner who is earning? Surely at least half would be happier at home? One half of one half is a quarter and one quarter of a million is roughly 221,301. I think we can all see where this argument is going.
Oh, I think we can.
It would be ludicrous to suggest that women should be sacked purely to give men their jobs. In many cases, their jobs should be abolished as well.
In short, women were the driving force behind the greed, consumerism and materialism of the Celtic Tiger years and it was female employment that funded their oestrogen-crazed acquisitiveness.
ZOMG, that’s right! It was the oestrogen! Or estrogen! Whatever! It was solely the women who were selling bad mortgages, racking up credit card debt, destabilizing currency, and running the banks into the ground. Those poor, blameless men spent the last 10 years enjoying a pint at the local pub and discussing the works of James Joyce. They’re innocent victims of hysterical women armed with paychecks!
The time has come to build a more sustainable, equitable and progressive society.
We agree! Hooray! Now how are we going to do that?
Why not make a start by telling your other half to quit her job? She can ask you for the housekeeping on Friday.
Ahhh…there’s something refreshing about having your misogyny straight up, isn’t there? You can’t avoid it; good old-fashioned woman hating, right there in a major national newspaper. Unfortunattely the on-line edition does not enable comments; a damn shame because Irish women are no joke and I’m sure this piece kicked up a hell of a shitstorm (in fact, I suspect a few long-dead warrior queens are clawing their way out of their tombs this very minute).
The only real controversy here is why the editors of the Irish Times would run something so ludicrous, so obviously, howlingly sexist. Would they run a similar article suggesting every non-white person in Ireland be fired? Probably not; blatant racism is still less socially acceptable than sexism (they might occur at the same rate, but newspaper editors generally shy away from being openly racist in print). Maybe it’s a bit of satire? Performance art? A rip-off of Swift’s “A Modest Proposal?” I really wish it was a hoax. And yet….