SIT ON THE TOILET. SIT. ON IT. PUT YOUR BUTT ON THE TOILET SEAT.
I work at a public college, and the bathroom nearest my office is cleaned four times a day. Four times. Sit on the toilet.
Even if your workplace doesn’t clean the restrooms four times a day, I bet you have custodial services in there either before or after work, once a day, minimum. Sit on the toilet.
Unless you have oozing, suppurating, open wounds on the backs of your thighs, it is safe to sit your bare-naked-self on a public toilet seat. Sit on the toilet.
You cannot get STDs from a toilet seat. Sit on the toilet.
Your skin is a flexible, water-proof, germ-resistant barrier. You probably bathe regularly, too, so that anything that shouldn’t be there will be washed off in short order. Sit on the toilet.
Urine is sterile. Sit on the toilet.
If you sit on the toilet, whatever comes out of you will land IN the toilet, not on the toilet. Sit on the toilet.
If you are so squeamish that the thought your bare bum might touch porcelain that has touched another bare bum makes you pee-shy, put down some TP, and then? Sit on the toilet.
You will find far more germs on your hands, your telephone, your computer keyboard than you will on a public toilet seat. Sit on the toilet.
Please, please, please, my sisters, do your part for womanity and Sit. On. The Toilet.
And for maude’s sake, wash your hands!