Really, ladies. What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just accept that Sarah Palin is beautiful? And why must you hate her on the basis of that?
You must be jealous. You are secretly ashamed of your hairy-legged, non-Neiman-Marcus-wearing self. There is no good reason to dislike the Good Governor. She is a bastion of sanity in an insane world. Don’t take my word for it! Listen to Joan Swirsky of Canada Free Press. She wrote an article that totally explains why liberal, pro-choice, feminist women like myself have based their anti-Palin sentiments solely on irrational envy and the sad, painful knowledge that we are inferior to the pitbull with lipstick.
Swirsky maintains that the bashing of Bristol Palin reflects the left’s “fear” of Sarah Palin. And gosh darnit, she’s right! According to Ruth King, whom Swirsky quotes, I hate Palin because
she has actually achieved all [liberal women's] aspirations. She is successful; she is beautiful; she is a governor; she has taken on the old boys; she has gained national stature; she has clout; she has a son in the military; she has a husband who is a hunk who is also happy to help his wife’s career, and she has four other kids and a great family life, along with its attendant problems.
Holy run-on sentence, Batman!
But Ruth King is right. It’s not fair! All I ever wanted out of life was to be beautiful and have a son in the military and (most of all) a hunky husband! Really, my worth as a woman, and a liberal one at that, is solely measured in how many Republican dittoheads think I’m beautiful. Oh, and I wasted my life on being a feminist! It prevented me from accomplishing anything!
She was begging feminists with fancy credentials who had never accomplished anything to hate her, and they did.
My credentials crumble in the face of Palin’s accomplishments. I suppose I will now have to turn in my gold medal earned studying Latin in the 10th grade. Indeed, I have accomplished nothing, my life is wasted, and my shriveled mind and barren uterus and un-lipsticked face cower before the brilliance that is Sarah Palin.
At this point, Palin has gone back to Alaska. And this is really not about Palin anymore. It’s about the fact that she is the perfect symbol for the far right to hold up as a counterpoint to feminism. The right is far more bitter about Palin than I could ever be. She is not Vice President, she did not deliver McCain to the Oval Office, and she is no longer popping up in interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric.
But it is so much easier to fault those nefarious liberal feminists for resenting Palin than it is to recognize that more than 50% of American voters (including non-liberals, non-feminists, and a hell of a lot of men) did not vote for her ticket.
My own feelings towards Palin have nothing to do with her makeup or hairstyle or fancy suits. They have to do with actual issues. I have no shame in saying that I’m not as conventionally “attractive” as Sarah Palin. That’s not quite the reason why I have more admiration for the incidentally pantsuit-wearing, complicated-marriage-possessing Hillary Clinton than the oh-so-beautiful (at least as per Joan Swirsky) Sarah Palin.
So really, don’t hate Sarah Palin because she’s beautiful and married. Because we shriveled, shrewish feminists can never hope to achieve such things. Let’s just crawl back into our caves and weep silently, and accept that we are inferior women who have been deluded by feminism into thinking we are actually important.