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How To Ruin Your Travel Plans in One Simple Step

Posted by PhDork in Morning Snark, You Have Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me, Assweasels, Sexism, Unexpected Consequences on Mar 25, 2009, 11:00am | 27 comments

Paradise...for whom?  Via shashchatter @ Flickr.

Paradise...for whom? Via shashchatter @ Flickr.

Just when I think I’ve plumbed the depths of the poisonous well of woman-hate, I do an innocent search for travel guides on Amazon, using “[Country Name]Travel”, and I find this title:

World Sex Travel Guide:  The Adventurous Mans Guide to Sex Tourism by someone pseudonymously calling himself “Naes Draw.”  Because I’m not a raving idiot, I’m guessing it’s a shitty anagram of the author-rapist’s name (can you figure it out in less than 10 seconds?)

Anyway, because I am given to pedantry, I must note that there should be an apostrophe in that title, before giving you the description:

Travel as a sex tourist to 13 exotic yet very inexpensive countries to meet the most incredible women. This guide – updated monthly – covers Thailand, the Philippines, Bali and Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Cambodia, Costa Rica, Mexico, Aruba, Cuba, Curacao, Saint Martin, and the Dominican Republic.

Learn where to meet the hottest women and how inexpensive it is to live out your sexual fantasies. The guide also covers travel information on visas, taxis, exchange rates and hotels. It teaches you what to pay and how to stay safe. Saves you time, money and trouble.

FOR ONLY $9.99, YOU TOO CAN RAPE TWO-THIRDS-WORLD WOMEN WITH IMPUNITY!!! UPDATED MONTHLY!

I don’t know what the fuck Amazon is doing selling this shit, and to the credit of other people who have stumbled upon this digital rape manual, the comments are uniformly horrified and offended. Small comforts.

BUT: According to Amazon’s own stats, this e-book is the 13th most-popular travel book about Bali. For the fucking fuck of fuck, people. I don’t even know what to say.

AND: The crap frosting on this shit-cake comes in the “Customers Who Bought this Book Also Bought…” category. Along with Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and something called Bangkok Sporting Club? The Holy Bible, English Standard Version.

Dork: out. *drops the mic, leaves the stage*

27 Responses to “How To Ruin Your Travel Plans in One Simple Step”

  1. Bekka says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:04 am

    I…I just..I really don’t know what to say here. There are no words to truly and eloquently express my disgust.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!

    That comes close.

  2. bluebears says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:08 am

    Stuff like that always makes me so sick to my stomach. I just feel so bad for those poor women (probably mostly underage) and I wish there was some way to go after these men. But there’s not…

  3. SarahMC says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:10 am

    Take comfort in the knowledge that their Evil Ex-Wives Are Going After Their Wallets and Preventing Them From Seeing Their Kids!1!!!

  4. bluebears says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Why do men get such a raw deal in divorce proceedings? /sarcasm

  5. sarah.of.a.lesser.god says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:14 am

    I can’t imagine there is actually a bottom to those depths of the woman-hating, especially when it comes to woman-hating for a profit.

  6. SarahMC says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:16 am

    They have to take their righteous frustration out on the bodies of unwilling foreign women who “appreciate” fine American men, bluebears.
    :tear:

  7. Eeva says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Hey, Sean Ward! You’re an unimaginative dick.

  8. Renata says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:17 am

    Unbelievable.

    At least those three people who wrote reviews weren’t buyers, but people who share the opinion that this is disgusting and should be illegal.

  9. PhDork says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Eeva, you figured out the identity behind his terribly difficult code name! You get 1000 genius points!

  10. bluebears says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:31 am

    @sarahmc: its just because american women are so bossy! and emasculating!!

  11. Eeva says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:32 am

    I’m pretty amazing, considering that was almost as difficult as some of the puzzles in The Da Vinci Code.

    I’m willing to bet this guide is full of euphemisms for “underage”.

  12. bellethellama says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:33 am

    I refuse to believe that this exists–surely, this is just the book version of Daniel Cleaver’s “Smooth Guide” (from the very lame Bridget Jones sequel), right? Right? A publisher really didn’t PAY for some douchebag to write this?

  13. Kivrin says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:33 am

    I feel like going all Veronica Mars and hunting down this Sean Ward guy for a serious ass-kicking.

  14. Maritsa says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:38 am

    When we came back from Argentina a few years ago, we stood in the longest line ever at customs. There was douchewad behind us telling another guy how he went down to Brazil and took pictures of women in bikinis and how hot they were and how many of them he fucked. I’m sure it was for some soft-core porn site. I really wanted to vomit and cry at the same time. My husband shot him some dirty glances and he quieted down, but we could still hear him show the other guy the pics on his laptop, I’m sure to the horror of the old couple behind him. I bet his name was Sean Ward.

  15. Khrushchev says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:44 am

    The one-star reviews are comforting, but the responses to these reviews are not so much:

    “it’s a book man. no Big deal. Get real!!!”

  16. sarah.of.a.lesser.god says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:55 am

    @Khrushchev: WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE FEMINIST?!?!?!?!

  17. bluebears says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:55 am

    @Krushchev: man, I’d love to look but I’m at work. AWKWARD….

  18. DangerMouse says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:57 am

    In the laugh-vs.-cry dichotomy, I had to laugh simply because of the Bible thing.

    If there were a hell, they’d be going to it in a hand basket.

  19. Khrushchev says:
    March 25, 2009 at 11:58 am

    @SoaLG: I mean, yay rights and everything, but why can’t we just have our sex tourism fun?

  20. j.d.regent says:
    March 25, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    bonus for Bali: no extradition agreement with Indonesia!

  21. Pilgrim Soul says:
    March 25, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    You guys, gosh, can’t guys have a little PIV fun without y’all getting up in arms?

    I’d also just like to take this occasion to say that if I could marry PhDork I would. Dude or no Dude.

  22. PhDork says:
    March 25, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Pilgrim, maybe we can, and then you can stay in NY forever! Sen. Chuck Schumer has been making noise abut legalizing gay marriage in NY! Fake-gay harpy wedding: ahoy!

  23. AnnoyingFemaleLeadVoiceover says:
    March 25, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    Took a class on this in college and had to look at some of the websites. Really horrifying stuff.

  24. B-612 says:
    March 26, 2009 at 3:34 am

    A few years back while doing volunteer work in the Philippines, I met some of these women who wanted to get out of it. Some had children from it. So sad.

  25. rednrowdy says:
    March 26, 2009 at 9:46 am

    @bluebears: THIS. WIN.

  26. Lysergic Asset says:
    March 26, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    I live near Puerto Vallarta, and I can tell you it gets far worse than exploitation of young women. Rumor has it around here that wealthy child sex fetishists have their pick of children of the impoverished who sell their offspring for sex to the highest bidder.

  27. PrettyPrettyPrincess says:
    March 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    This makes me sad. My college ex-boyfriend’s brother did a sex tour in Asia a few years ago, and when he told me my only response was what the fuck is wrong with him? I’d like to give some American men the benefit of the doubt (the ones who have heard of it but don’t do it) and say that maybe they don’t UNDERSTAND what it really means. But the guys who want to do it, who pursue it, who fly to other countries to have sex with underage girls who live in terrible conditions and who have no choice – I feel like that is the true embodiment of evil.

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