That's my kind of guy. via sean dreilinger @ flickr
Any thoroughly decent, conscientious, law-abiding citizen would get their bra straps in a twist over the vile, disgusting, indecent, and thoroughly unladylike action of feeding a baby in public. With a breast. A bare breast! A woman’s bare breast! And this fiend performed this disgusting act in the presence of other children! Get the smelling salts, this is just too much for my sensitive system to bear!
I hope the security guard at a Brooklyn library received hazard pay for confronting the mean milking mama who just whipped it out in public and then trotted out some fancy-pants New York State law that says she is allowed to breastfeed anywhere in public or private as a defense. Why was this woman so selfish? Why didn’t she think of the children? She contends she was, because she was feeding one of the children, but what of those other, innocent, precious, pure-as-the-driven-snow creatures of God who were subjected to the horrific titillation of a woman’s bared mammary?
She claims that children were not at all disturbed by the breastfeeding because, after all, most of them probably engaged in the same activity in the not-so-distant past. But I call bullshit. What human, child or adult, can fail to be aroused against their will by the quivering, soft, sweet, flesh of a woman’s breast?
And the security guard was, in fact, helping these children! She was teaching them very early on in life that only bad women show their breasts in public, no matter what the reason. These women must be shamed, pilloried, and subjected to nasty comments on the New York Post website. How else will they learn to fetishize breasts and view them as mysterious objects that must only be bared in public if it is for a Girls Gone Wild video? Thank you, wise security guard, for knowing that these innocent souls needed to learn the life lesson about shaming women over their breasts.
Finally, this is a public safety issue. Do we really want legions of kindergartners rushing this poor woman to try and get a sip of milk to go with their cookies? I think not. Think of the children. No, not your own children. The other children.
And think of the adults. Those poor adults, subject to the cruel whims of arousal whenever breasts are seen, glimpsed, mentioned, or imagined. Why analyze why people are obsessed with breasts when we can just order blanket statements that breasts are indecent? There’s no fun in trying to be mature and logical about this! So Mama, put your tits away.
When my daughter was 1 week old we went out for lunch at local cafe. My husband went to order some drinks and an old man sitting at the next table looked at my sleeping baby, looked at my (fully covered) breasts and said leeringly ‘ooh, that baby looks hungry, aren’t you going to feed him?’
Still gives me the icks. I think I prefer a nice bit of hyperbolic moral outrage over that sort of support!
Yes, that kind of “support” gives actual support a bad name! I hated that I was not going to be able to breastfeed, but at least it meant I would have been spared that crap.
The idea that catching a glimpse of a woman breastfeeding could traumatize children is one that’s made me lose brain cells.
The Post comments aren’t loading for me right now and I am disappointed, which I think means I’m a masochist.
“How else will they learn to fetishize breasts and view them as mysterious objects that must only be bared in public if it is for a Girls Gone Wild video?”
The sweet sound of hitting the nail on the head S.o.a.L.G!
Boobies=Bad unless they’re “show us your tits!”
Also–good Lord, that baby’s name is Anais! This mother is a harpy after our own hearts.
What are the laws about this sort of thing? Does it vary by state, and how do you find out?
Much like I pity the fool who tries to deny me access to my birth control, I pity the fool who ever tries to tell me I can’t feed a baby in public.
I think the law varies by state. Google breastfeeding laws and state name, maybe.
Here’s a good link: http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm
Apparently, in 205 SC changed its state laws to allow women breastfeeding in public to be exempt from public indecency laws, in ANY public or private location. For once I can say, way to go SC!
It seems like New York state law also provides that a woman may breastfeed her child in any public location without being subject to public indecency, and considering that a library is public property, I am wondering what the guard’s basis for asking the woman to leave was? She had a legal right to be there, doing that.
And I’m a moron who didn’t read the Post article.
Seems that guard shoulda been fired, not just transferred.
I work at a Goodwill Retail Store (basically, I higher end goodwill with better-quality merchandise) and while putting clothes onto the floor, I saw a woman, with her baby, doing the unthinkable! She was breastfeeding. I stopped her, she immediately apologized, I said “You know, it must be hard nursing and shopping at the same time, if you want, there are benches at the front of the store so you can sit.”
I don’t see an issue with public breastfeeding, I mean, really? “zOMG! A lady using her boobies for their natural use! NOOO! Her boobies are there for my entertainment, not baby’s nourishment!”
@funnyface: Sounds like because this was a city library, she may have had a contract with the municipal government or even have been a city employee, and that can be notoriously tricky to handle when it comes to firings.
@Khrushchev: Her other child’s name is Matias, also awesome. Although the middle name is Detroit, which gives me pause. I know I shouldn’t care, but I am obsessed with names.
The picture accompanying this post is awesome. I have a friend whose son used to do the same thing with dolls when he was little.
@Kivrin: This photo is pretty much the best thing ever. And the dad who posted it was so incredibly proud that his son was that aware of what went into caring for his baby sister.
Can we send this to other bloggers as an instruction to how to write actual satire? Please?
You know what’s bad for children? Having angry security guards confronting parents during story time at the library.
i like your snarky article. i never had any problems when i was breastfeeding in public but it sure is ridiculous when people get harrassed!
btw, that hilarious picture is my son nick!
@rachel love: Your son is absolutely adorable!
huge peeve with these people. really breastfeeding is normal and not obscene. When I nurse my children you can see about about 1 inch of flesh. You see more flesh of others at the beach!
here from Five Star Friday. Love this. Love the picture of the little boy breastfeeding. Children find breastfeeding the most normal thing in the world, in my experience. I’m just waiting for the day someone confronts me in public about breastfeeding so I can shell out some snarkiness of my own.
Great post!
The nerve of some people them out…and for nurture at that. SHAME!
LOVED this post; loved it.
“What human, child or adult, can fail to be aroused against their will by the quivering, soft, sweet, flesh of a woman’s breast?”
Hell, I was unwillingly aroused just by your post! Thank god I was nowhere near Brooklyn during the incident. Thank you, brave, brave security guard. How you ever summoned the courage to approach a nursing woman I can never imagine.