Via wstryder @ Flickr.
I hope I never have reason to use this stuff. But I carry a teensy pepper spray on my keychain. In fact, I just bought a new one today because somehow, I lost my old one during a recent move. I once had my pepper spray confiscated at the airport (d’oh!), so this wasn’t the first time I’ve had to replace it and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
For the past week, sans pepper spray, I’ve been aware of its absence. Knowing it’s at my side whilst I walk my dog, or head to and from my car in the office garage, is comforting. But I get the feeling my possession of a “weapon” weirds some people out. The man who waited on me at the hardware store cocked his head when I asked whether they carried pepper spray, and asked “What do you need pepper spray for?” The answer seems… obvious? Last summer, I handed my keychain over to a cashier at the grocery store so he could scan my savings card. He, too, cocked his head and exclaimed, “Is this legal?!” followed by a barage of questions about why I’d ever need such a thing, had I ever used it, etc.
In a culture that pays lip service to the importance of women’s self-defense and preparedness, I’d think carrying pepper spray would be regarded mundane. During my freshman year of college, I carried a “rape whistle” on my keychain; I think they were passed out at orientation or something. A friend laughed when I told him what it was, and called me conceited for considering myself “rape worthy.” Our friendship didn’t last long. Is that where the shock re: my pepper spray is coming from? My mom carries pepper spray too, primarily to protect herself and her dog against animals they might encounter on their wilderness walks.
What about you: Do you carry a weapon? How do you feel about it?
As I’ve demonstrated, we deal with enough push-back from men when we get pro-active about self-defense; I don’t need it from fellow feminists as well.
You guys, I don’t think SarahMC intended this to become a discussion of whether Canada is “better” than the U.S., and neither did I, and I am sorry I hijacked her thread in this way.
I would never carry a weapon. Which may seem odd, given that just last week I had my breast openly groped on the subway by someone who did not even try to disguise his actions. It’s not from a disbelief that I could ever be attacked (obviously, since that wasn’t even the first time it had happened), but I just don’t feel comfortable carrying something like that with me. I do joke that I always have a hot coffee with me, so I would scald an attacker, but the truth is that I have a history of being sexually abused and never spoke up about it for years, hence I feel like there’s a passivity about this issue when it comes to my personal history and I’m reluctant to make a big “fuss”, i.e. take self-defense, carry pepper spray. And I live in big, bad New York City — have done so my whole life. It’s not that I feel exceedingly safe and secure, but that these kinds of experiences are not new and, perhaps counterintuitively, my gut reaction when this shit happens (like last week on the subway) is to stay silent and frozen. I’m not sure pepper spray would help me with that; it would probably have to be therapy.
@K: I’m a feminist and I have no problem with private citizens being able to own guns. I would like there to be solid gun control laws to regulate who can own guns and which kinds, but I agree with you about why women would want to own guns and in certain situations like you’ve mentioned, I would consider having one.
@afteriris: Yes, I know that seeming like a “hard target” is usually a good defense, but I’d probably start off with some plain old yelling and save the pepper spray for if that didn’t work and I really needed to surprise the bad guy.
@becky: fair point. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve just emailed you the source of the information just because I thought you might be interested.
This is an interesting discussion, and it’s funny how my answer now is different from what my answer a year ago would have been. After being mugged at gunpoint in South America, I am ALL ABOUT people carrying whatever they need to on their person to make them feel comfortable (within the law, of course).
The idea that carrying pepper spray might be laughable to some people worries me. It also makes me envy the person who thinks it’s laughable, because that indicates to me they’ve probably never been attacked.
PS has a point. A high crime rate in the USA doesn’t change the fact that we’re living in a culture of fear. That doesn’t mean pro-active self defense is bad, but to some extent we’re essentially buying into the stranger-in-the-bushes crap put forth by the media. Of course, pepper spray and/or other methods of self-defense can be used in situations where one knows their assailant too. But for many, weapons such as pepper spray are sold (and bought) out of fear for the stranger scenario. I think that’s worth considering.
Doesn’t change the fact that, as a North Philadelphia resident, I’m terrified of walking anywhere alone. I’ve definitely bought into this-place-is-dangerous BS. But even in places with high crime, a good percentage of that (minus muggings, perhaps?) are committed by a person the victim knows. I try to keep that in mind. The USA, I’m pretty sure, isn’t as terrifying at the media likes to say it is.
@afteriris: Thanks!
@bb: Anyone who finds it laughable that a woman would want to carry some kind of self-protection is either completely oblivious or a callous asshole. And yes, has certainly never been attacked themselves.
Timely!
A woman was just assaulted/almost mugged about half a block from my apartment and a young woman was murdered about 2 miles from my place. The police have ZERO leads. I’ve really been thinking about my safety, especially since the bf might be headed out on tour next month.
I was thinking of getting pepper spray, but I felt all weird and paranoid, but now that I know I’m in good company, I think I’ll pick some up this weekend! I think I’ll also going to get a deadbolt for the front door.
I always carry pepper spray, and I’ve thought about a handgun before. The reason I’m sticking with the pepper spray rather than the handgun is for mental health issues; I’ve been suicidal in the past and I don’t want to have easy access to a gun in case I get that low again. Still, I walk a lot in dangerous areas, sometimes at dusk, rarely after dark, and I am a very small woman. I usually have a heavy pack with me, too, so I can imagine I would be an easy target. I always walk with my pepper spray in hand and I’ve recently started carrying a small knife in my pocket as well. I think the pepper spray would be more effective in fending off an attacker, though, because in order to use the knife I’d already have to be closer than I’d want to be to the attacker.
Hey, I’ve seen Bowling for Columbine.
I think there is a legitimate discussion to be had re: the culture of fear – American or not – and a woman’s very real risk of violence in this world. I will be the first to tell a woman she’s more at risk among people she knows than strangers in the bushes, but that doesn’t make me think I might as well leave my pepper spray at home.
@CrabbyAlissa: A good lock for your door is key. Make sure you don’t just get one of those lock-from-the-inside deadbolts — get one with a key. Several years ago, our apartment was burglarized via the balcony because (a) we were on the first floor, and (b) the lock on the balcony door didn’t actually lock with a key — it was just a bolt that you flipped from the inside. The burglars stuck a crowbar into the door frame and just pushed the bolt back into the door, opened the door, and came right in. We had the apartment complex install an actual locking deadbolt that couldn’t just be pushed back into the door.
(Hope that explanation made sense — it’s a little hard to visualize.)
I carry pepper spray and a pocket knife. My husband got me the pepper spray when I was finishing up my BFA in Cleveland. I’ve had a lot of shocked reactions to the knife (which is mostly practical, for an artist) than to the pepper spray– I guess it was expected in Cleveland, even by the men. Whenever we heard about another robbery, abduction, or rape in our area some of the girls who had cars would offer those who didn’t to go on a “pepper spray buying trip” with them.
Sarah, I don’t carry pepper spray because I know that I would probably end up accidentally spraying myself (I don’t do well in crises). So, when I’m walking my dog, I put a spike collar on her to make her look more butch.
But seriously, I do feel safe with my dog, even though I live in a pretty sketchy neighborhood. I wonder what the statistics are for victims who were walking dogs?
I sometimes hold my keys in my hand, and pepper spray actually sounds like a great idea. I’ve never been in immediate danger (knock on wood), but when I’m alone I’m always aware of my surroundings as well as planning ‘what-if’ scenarios.
I do lock my door when I’m in my apartment.
I wouldn’t carry a handgun, because I’m not convinced that they make situations more safe rather than just escalating them.
@Kirvin- that makes total sense and you reminded me of something else I need to take care of. My large front windows are quite old and slide to the side to open and they have no locks. I don’t think my landlord is going to get me new windows, so I’ll have to get some wood or something to stick between the window and the wall to prevent it from being opened.
I can’t believe I’ve been living there for 3 years and this is just occurring to me now.
Huh. By last count, if I hadn’t locked my apartment and dorm doors, I would have been raped at least three times, with attempted rape at least two other times (dude was ooooold, but he was still trying to get at me, the ol’ creep), not to mention possible other physical harm or some kind of theft/property damage that might have also occurred.
Now I realize that I was under a moral obligation to not protect myself by locking those doors, ’cause that fed into a culture of fear. Call me an amoral coward if you wish, but I just had to weigh my own personal safety against the obligation to pretend that everything in the US is peachy-dandy and that there is in fact no actual violent threat to women at this time.
Heck, I probably MADE those guys try to break in by locking the doors in the first place. They probably just sensed it, you know? Forbidden fruit and all that. I really should make a better effort to change society–if I would only refuse to protect myself in even the simplest and most passive of ways, violence against women would just…disappear.
I carry pepper spray. My BF carries a pocket knife and owns a gun. We live in L.A. but we would be the same way in any city.
@K re: “Re: the firearm issue – I’m curious how people feel about them?”
I have complicated feelings about guns. On the one hand, I’m born, raised, and living in the South. I know a lot of avid hunters and people who just enjoy shooting guns. And yet, I’ve never shot one. I think, abstractly, it’s fine by me if people want to own guns, but I think there should be limits on what kind, how many, and who can have them. Statistically, people who own guns are more likely to be victims of guns, often their own, and that’s a major reason I would never have a gun in my house. Also, I believe in nonviolence, and as far as protecting myself and my family, I’d only be OK going so far as to immobilize an attacker, never killing someone. It would be against my religious beliefs to kill anyone, even in self defense.
RE: dogs as a source of “safety.” I totally feel safer having two large, barking dogs in my house. My husband often works nights, and just knowing that there are these two girls here protecting me, barking at things outside the house, sounding very intimidating makes me feel safer. Not to mention, I know they protect me when I’m out walking with them– my Bessie once snarled and scared away a dog that was trying to chase me and really had me scared.
After the sexual assault a year and a half ago, I got a pepper spray for my key chain and one I keep near my front door.
When I went off to college, my dad gave me a pocket knife with a curved, serrated blade and told me “plunge and twist.” I carried it in my hand any time I had to walk across campus alone after dark. I’d been sexually assaulted once, and vowed to take a mu’fu’r out before it ever happened again. I don’t remember when or why I stopped carrying it in my bag, but it’s been years now.
I think I’m going to go out and get some pepper spray now though.
I carry pepper spray as well, mostly because I’m very little and if someone did try something with me, it would be my only defense. I feel a lot safer going around with it and I lend it to my friends if they are going into a situation that might be dangerous.
My parents completely encourage me carrying it because it assures them of my safety as well.
There should be nothing wrong with carrying something that ensures safety…well as long as it’s not a baseball bat or something.