Mis hermanas:
I’m back from my vacation in Colombia! It was awesome. And I will gleefully divulge the most surprising piece of awesome right away because I’ve been dying to tell y’all about it:
One morning, BFF Nicole, my college roommate and travel companion, ran into the hotel dining room where I was downing arepas and freshly squozed mango juice and said, “You have to come outside RIGHT NOW!” She dragged me out to the sidewalk and there I beheld the husband of our Secretary of State, rolling with his posse of Secret Service and a couple Colombian dignitary-types.
Photo courtesy of BFF Nicole.
(Yeah, after multiple attempts by multiple Harpies, we could not get that photo to load right-side up in WordPress. We were forced to conclude that in the presence of so many fetching young women, Bill was simply determined to remain horizontal. He couldn’t resist our charms. Just turn your laptops sideways to admire.)
I waved, and called out “Hi Mr. President!” He immediately came over to the curb to shake my hand. It probably helped that I was wearing a thin tank top and short skirt. Bill asked me where I was from and I said “New York. I’ve voted for you and your wife many times!” (Although not in the 2008 Democratic primary, but I didn’t want to spoil the moment). He was all “Gee thanks, great to meetcha!” So yeah, I grew up in DC, I live in New York but I had to go to Cartagena de Indias, Colombia, to meet Bill Clinton.
Anyway, aside from random presidential sightings, we spent a good couple days taking in the gorgeousness of Cartagena’s colonial architecture, like this: 
and going for a culturally enlightening field trip to the Cartagena Museum, housed in the former Palace of the Inquisition. (It’s okay if you hear Monty Python in your head when you read the word Inquisition. I do). The ‘Sala de Brujas’ featured many of the instruments of torture used in witch-hunting, including this one:
The accompanying placard described how the pincers would be heated until red hot and applied to the breasts of women: “accused of heresy, blasphemy, adultery, erotic white magic, performing abortions or to mark women as single mothers.” [shudder] It was followed by a lengthy explanation of how the Cartagena Inquisition was really much nicer than the regular Spanish Inquisition insomuch as they didn’t torture nearly as many people and only wound up burning five heretics total in a couple hundred years. Oh, and the Cartagena Inquisition wants to you know that they totally didn’t persecute the indigenous people at all. (Presumably the military and civil authorities had that part covered already.) Moral relativism FTW!
And while we’re on the topic of women–because, hell, we’re always on the topic of women here at Harpyness–I can tell you that I found Colombia to be surprisingly and delightfully woman-friendly. If, like me, you occasionally approach foreign travel with a sense of fear and loathing, dreading the inevitable barrage of unwelcome attention from the local menz, have no fear. Aside from Cartagena’s hawkers, who are constantly trying to press ticky-tacky souvenirs on every tourist in sight, I was not harrassed even once in any of the three cities I visited in Colombia, or in the countryside. Quite the contrary–literally every single person we met, male or female, was outgoing, kind, friendly and helpful to me and BFF Nicole. No one ever followed me, propositioned me, or tried to touch me, not even so much as a hiss or whistle. When we found ourselves in a real jam because of a shady travel agent–who, to be fair, was French and not Colombian–it was a couple of locals in Barranquilla and their cell phone who helped save our asses. (NB: Do not ever use the services of Aventure Colombia and its incompetent director Mathieu). I can’t say enough about what lovely, outgoing people Colombians are. The only danger was that they might talk me to death because the Colombians are as chatty a bunch as I’ve met in a long time. After a week there, my brain was almost completely fried from the non-stop torrent of conversation. I speak fluent Spanish but solid eight hour stretches of conversing or interpreting left me exhausted at the end of each day.
And no wonder they’re nice people–they have beaches that look like this:
Arrecifes Beach. This photo actually doesn't do it justice.
And beautiful inland rivers and jungle that looks like this:
The backyard of my beach house in Rio Piedras.
So if I sound like the Colombian Chamber of Commerce, well, I can’t help it. It’s a magnificent country, and has been unfairly maligned for way too long. Y’all should go. N SRIO (that’s Spanish LOLCat for SRSLY).
Oh, and one last plug: if you do find yourself in Cartagena, please head immediately to Cocina de Carmela on the NE corner of Parque Fernandez de Madrid. It’s a delicious fine dining establishment with regional specialities that’s run entirely by women, from the owner and head chef to the servers. They are real pros in the restaurant business and do Cartagena proud.
[...] » In Which I Return From My Travels… The Pursuit of Harpyness [...]
How crazy that you met Bill in Colombia! I am from Arkansas, from the town where he went to High School even, even took a seminar with the man who was treasurer of the 1992 campaign and now dean of the Clinton School, and I still haven’t met the man. I’m jealous. Of that and your gorgeous relaxious trip too.
Tus fotos son lindas! (Bueno, la foto del presidente no es “linda,” pero estoy celosa que tu hablaste con él!) Yo trabajo con una mujer colombiana, asi yo puedo atestiguar a la verbosidad de los colombianos! Gracias por la descripción de tus viajes.
Oh am I ever envious. I’m glad you had a nice trip! And glad you’re back! I’ve always wanted to go to either Colombia or Argentina for a vacation. I think you may have pushed me in la direccion colombiana. Now if only I can scrounge up some dollars.
I am so jealous! Of the vacation, not of meeting Bill (been there, done that, don’t have the pictures). Between you and Pilgrim Soul, I feel like at least I can travel to gorgeous locales vicariously through my friends. But I am going to New Jersey next weekend, and that’s totally the same as a Colombian beach!
@Kirvin: Es verdad! Nunca se callan! Pero son muy amables. Ojala que tu collega sea amable como lo demas…
@Kithkin: I’m a big fan of Argentina too…Buenos Aires is one of my favorite cities in the world. The main difference is that Argentina is much more first-world and European-feeling. It’s totally whitey-white, for one thing. No black or brown or indigenous people in Argentina at all, and a lot of Argentines speak good English (unlike Colombia, where I encountered no one who spoke English well). So Argentina’s a much easier trip in that way–less culture shock, better plumbing. They’re relatively the same in price once you get there, but the flight to B.A. is about 11 hours and quite expensive, whereas Cartagena is 2.5 hours from Miami.
I hate you so much right now. Kidding! But I am jealous, that looks unbelievably gorgeous. I have wanted to go to Latin America for years. Now could I ask a slightly personal question, which you don’t have to answer? Was this a very pricey trip? Of course I’m sure it wasn’t cheap. But would you say reasonable?
Yeah, I’m jealous of Becky and I just took a trip too!
I am trying to console myself by planning a new trip.
@bluebears: The plane ticket, from NY-Cartagena via Miami was about $500. The hotel we stayed at in Cartagena was a posh little place, with a good breakfast included. I think I paid about $900 for 7 nights because I pre-booked on-line. Transportation along the coast plus the beach house rental for 2 nights (where a housekeeper made us breakfast and a full dinner every night) plus the guide to walk us through the jungle was about $400 total (it was a package). So no, I wouldn’t say it was pricey–not when compared to what a similar trip to Europe would cost.
If we’d stayed in a less posh hotel in Cartagena or in one of the hut-and-hammock camps along the beach instead of the nice beach house, it would have been considerably cheaper. And food is relatively cheap–you can get a meal of delicious street food (arepas with cheese, fried bananas, fresh fruit and fruit juices) for about $3 or a full meal with meat and sides in a small restaurant for about $10.
Wow. That sounds really reasonable. Much cheaper than I would have thought. Thanks! BF and I have been trying to plan a destination trip for forever, but with the shitty economy we haven’t wanted to go super crazy.
Spanish LOLCat is cracking me up. I wish I was in a position to travel right now, Columbia sounds amazing and those prices are very very reasonable. Although a friend just got back from 6 days in Ireland for only $800(including air) so Europe might not be as bad as you think.
@Blondegrlz: I’ve been watching the pound and the euro nosedive and tapping my fingers together with delight, b/c I’m going to England and Portugal next month. I went to England and Spain last year and the credit card bills were PAINFUL because the dollar was so weak. Now I might be able to enjoy myself a little.
BFF Nicole and I were having a good time coming up with Spanish LOLcat sayings, although no one in Colombia “got” them, obvs.
Becky, you make me embarassed to have told you what the Galapagos cost, which, for the edification of our readers, was… more. Although it involved internal airfare + boat.
@PSoul: I believe you. Those wildlife expeditions cost a fortune b/c there’s really only one way to do them, and it’s never cheap. I went on safari in Africa a few years ago and my head still hurts thinking how much all that face time with the animals cost. Totally worth it, though.
I suppose I shouldn’t turn this into my personal chat room, but yeah, am currently considering either tigers in India or the wilds of China for an August trip, and, um, ow. But you know what, it will be worth it.
Tigers!!! Although I bet India is painfully hot in August.
It’s in a mountain-y part, so not too bad.
But yeah, tigers. Apparently you can get quite close to that.
I saw your photoset on FB, and I’m N SRIO considering running away to that house at Rio Piedras. Beach, river, hammocks, Pepe! I will attempt to finish my dissertation there, long hand, on paper, and drink a lot of whatever the local booze is.
PhDork, that sounds like an awesome plan. Although, if the local booze is “guaro” just say no to that shiz. It’s common in Latin America, so maybe not Colombia, but yeah, let’s just say that it was thanks to guaro that my husband earned the nickname “bad shape Jon.” It’s basically Latin American moonshine.
@PhDork: Three caveats about the beach house: no hot water (although it’s hot there, so taking a cool shower is fine), no good reading light for after it gets dark and MOSQUITOS. Since the whole house is open, if you’re sitting around after dark, you are one big warm smorgasboard for the local insects. The local drink of choice is Aguila, a Colombian beer. Didn’t try it myself, but it seemed real popular.
Pepe would love you, I’m sure. Did you see that picture of him curled up asleep with me? He was a sweet kitty.
Great pictures! I totally concur on Buenos Aires, it is the best place I ever visited.
I am co-opting N SRIO, one of my BFs and I use “en serio” all the time and that is much funnier.
This makes me even more excited for my trip to Columbia in September!
@BeckySharper: Would you recommend a trip to Argentina for a lovely, but very African couple? I’ve always wanted to go, but I know the country is very white and I’ve never been comfortable with being the token black person.
@groupie: Being a very Anglo-looking person myself, I don’t have any first-hand sense of how Argentines respond to non-whites. I would imagine that if you looked like respectable tourists, you wouldn’t be outright snubbed or refused service. It’s a cosmopolitan place and it’s not like they’ve never see people of color before, so you wouldn’t be in danger because you’re black. But it would not surprise me at all if there were more subtle issues like maybe not being helped right away or tailed in stores. I honestly can’t say for sure, but I wouldn’t let it stop you from making the trip.
You’ll LOVE Colombia. I’ve never been inland, to Bogota or Medellin, but the Carribbean coast is 100% people of color in every possible combination of African, indigenous and European. When I went hiking in a national park, the guide–a young woman who definitely had African blood– engaged me in a long discussion about President Obama and said “Now I just tell everyone that black is in style!”
@groupie: My best friend is half-Singaporean, half-white and spent a month with her (white) husband in Argentina, and though she loved it, she said she did get weird looks, and I seem to remember her telling me she met an African American couple there who encountered some weird remarks.