Via failblog.org
Dear Readers:
Once again we present those search terms that have led you to our humble web abode, wherein we hope to snare you in our web. Our readers are clearly familiar with Google, Yahoo, etc., and took time from their busy lives to search the following phrases, which, alas, landed them here:
“Fucking Tired of my life” — Ah yes, we can sympathize
“harpies effect on modern society” — We blog, we rant, we affect society.
“hai i can haz intercourse” — LOLspeak is probably not the best way to woo a potential bedmate.
“masochism daddy issues” — Oh dear. Paging Dr. Freud!
“Katharine of Aquitaine” — I presume you mean Eleanor? Get thee to a history book!
“wear thongs because big ass” — Is this an order?
“will obama require michele to get off her fat ass and work?” — Will you get your own ass off our site?
“im so fucken tierd of women” — im so fucken tierd of misogynists who can’t spell.
“daddy fucks doughter while babby sitting” — Why are the grossest porny searches ALWAYS misspelled? ALWAYS!
“ginseng makes dick feel funny” –Sorry to hear it. Unfortunately, none of us are doctors.
“why do women become evil during PMS” –Again, none of us are doctors, but may we recommend a therapist? It’s clear you have some things you need to work out.
“I hate men” –Yeah, see, we don’t. As discussed here.
“I look awful in bridesmaids dress”– Oh honey, everyone does.
Special thanks this week to Stumbleupon.com, which has directed a tsunami of traffic to this site over the past week. If one of y’all linked our posts to it, we send muchas smoochas your way.
And special thanks to the trolls who stopped by to spread a little anti-woman hateration in the comments. You know who you are. Unfortunately for you, no one else will, because we have a “delete” button and we love to use it.
Ta ta for now…
Ah, but Katharine of Hepburn played Eleanor of Aquitaine in “The Lion in Winter,” which I presume is where that reader’s confusion lies. Adorable.
Also, I just realized how much I love the fact that you delete the trolls. That explains why Harpyness never leaves me seething with rage. I love you guys.
Why are the grossest porny searches ALWAYS misspelled? ALWAYS!
My guess is that it’s hard to concentrate on spelling when you’re typing one-handed…
Was that person drinking ginseng tea? Taking supplements? Or was it a local, topical application?
Typing one-handed is hard! (Say it in the non-existent Ken voice instead of the Barbie voice, I guess.)
It’s amazing how many people use Google as a sort of Magic 8 Ball, typing in complex questions and declarations as though it’s a psychiatrist sitting across from them.
@SarahMC: “why does sarahmc mock mai need for magik gogol answers?”
s.o.a.l.g: I know many people who need magik Gogol answers. Spark Notes are just not good enough for Taras Bulba or The Inspector General.
Thanks for posting these! Always good for a laugh. And I second the thanks for deleting the trolls; they take over way too many comments sections as it is.
Porny searches *are* always misspelled!!! Ignorance+Perviness=misspellings.
There is absolutely NO WAY that I google random things, hoping to stumble upon Harpy and have my random search show up in this post. NO WAY.
I think the bridesmaid just needed to vent to somebody. I’m going to see if this works with my search bar. Also, ICK on that incest porn person. I don’t want to know if that’s out there.