This exact thing happened to me – I was blacked out and apparently gave the guy every indication that I was consenting. But the next day I was mortified and felt raped – regardless of whether he intended to rape me, /I/ was raped and have to deal with the emotional fallout.

That’s why I find the idea of this scene so problematic – it’s not, as P.S. says, wrong to ever depict rape…but to depict rape, and say it’s ok without ever addressing or considering the context in which the scene appears in the world outside the film, or how these events usually go down…it’s just so many flavors of wrong. I may not see any more Seth Rogan or Anna Faris movies.

I don’t know what to think about the whole thing. I read a thing on Slate today where three different WOMEN argued that since the girl consented (because being drunk, drugged, covered in your own vomit, and mostly unconscious means you are completely lucid and capable of giving consent), it was perfectly okay. THREE WOMEN made this argument. I give up. If someone had you drunk, drugged, and unconscious but managed to get you to wake up for five minutes to put your signature on a document saying you were handing over your life savings to them, you wouldn’t argue you were capable of giving consent, but in an instance of sexual violence against a woman? Sure. That qualifies as consent any day of the week.

I’m all for personal responsibility. There are reasons I don’t drink a lot or walk down dark alleys and why I lock my doors. However, how about some personal responsibility on the part of would-be criminals to, ya know, not take advantage of a vulnerable person or situation? If we are ALL ultimately responsible for our own actions, how about a guy being responsible enough to NOT RAPE a woman?

I seem to recall a court case about a woman who was about to be raped at gunpoint, but convinced her assailant to put on a condom. The court said “she must have wanted it”. ::headdesk:: does anyone else recall that?

But as far as the whole ‘is she too drunk to consent’ debate goes I really don’t see the confusion. When two consenting adults have sex it’s a full on two way tango! You kiss them, they kiss back; you put your arms around them, they put their arms around you; you caress their body, they caress yours! They giggle, they smile, they groan (hopefully!). If the person your having sex with isn’t reacting like this, or at all, then something is not right and it’s time to stop – even if it just turns out their really nervous, you need to know! I have a hard time believing anyone could find ambiguity in this and even if they can they should stop and check! Maybe I’m being small minded?

P.S. Sorry to hear about you guys who’ve had experiences with rape.

“Because of the predator/prey mindset, when a woman does act in a sexually active or aggressive way, she is generally not viewed as a sexual aggressor, but rather as opening herself up to being sexually objectified by others. This is why rape trials have historically dwelled on whether the woman in question was dressed in a revealing or provocative fashion, or whether she met with the man privately, and so on. If she did any of those things, others are likely to view her as inviting her own sexualization, or “asking for it.” The underlying assumption is that women should simply know better – they should recognize that they are prey and men are predators, and they should act appropriately.”