I do think for me its a part generational/part social issue. I’m currently in law school, and suggesting that a woman should stay at home rather than work would get a lot of surprise. That said, I do hope to stay home when I someday have children– and I already know some of my friends will be expressing shock at my decision to “waste my education” even though I won’t think its a waste at all.

The only person who has made a comment about my (laid-off) husband staying home with our son is my mom, who keeps insisting “a man needs to work.” Most of my friends are working moms who all think it’s great, and my SAHM friends are equally supportive.

That said, in actual parenting groups with real live mothers of toddlers, I don’t hear any of the judgment that I got from people who had their kids decades ago. I think most of us currently parenting are a lot more aware of the economic and social realities.

BTW, whether it was intentional or not, “shipped off to daycare where they ‘learn to be social’” comes off pretty judgmental.

Also, I think its interesting that some of the above comments referenced women being judged for for choosing to work outside of the home– I’ll admit that, at 24, I’m relatively young, but I’ve never encountered that sort of judgement. Indeed, I’ve encountered the opposite– women are expected to work just as men are, children are expected to be shipped off to daycare where they “learn to be social”. In a two-working-parent family it makes sense that, when both have “being an independant provider” as a part of their personality, if either is laid off, its going to be a major blow to self-esteem and self-worth.

I find it interesting that the articles about new SAHDs paint theirs as a noble undertaking, while articles about men who have had to take lower-paying jobs are all about the pity. From a feminist perspective, I appreciate a “woman’s work” being valued, but I don’t like the way it all reeks of classism.