via sandcastlematt @ flickr
It was a sweltering and most unexpected ninety degrees here in New York City on Tuesday, and as I finished my daily power walk — yay endorphins! — I realized that I needed to do something about my hair. This is not a complete non-sequitur. I have very thick hair (good Jewish hair, my grandmother calls it), and it is hell in the summer. The frizz! The strands sticking to the sweaty neck! Oy vey!
So I think I might be shaving my head before summer truly arrives. I’ve done it before, and it’s truly freeing. But my eagerness to be all-but-rid of my hair is tempered by the knowledge that it will lead to stares and assumptions, because it seems that only lesbians and Sinead O’Connor and Natalie Portman’s V For Vendetta character have license to shave their heads. It’s been nine years since I last buzzed off my locks, and I still remember the gawking it invited, as well as a few “dyke” slurs thrown my way, the only time that ever happened to me (it somehow never actually happened when I was with one of my girlfriends). The absurd politicization of women’s hair makes it impossible for me to simply shave it off and expect that it won’t attract stares from passersby and comments from people I know.
So is shaving your hair a statement? Sometimes. Certain Orthodox Jewish women shave their heads upon marriage, choosing to don wigs so that no man other than their husband will see their actual hair. Other times, such as in the case of Britney Spears, it’s viewed as evidence that someone has gone off the deep end. The conundrum is that I want to shave my head, but know that the inevitable perception will be that I am only doing it to make a statement about the interplay between standards of beauty and gendered norms. Part of that is true, and I do enjoy tweaking some of the conventional notions of beauty. But part of this is simply a wish to make my own choice about aesthetics and comfort, and others can read into it whatever they want to. Hopefully I’ll be too busy enjoying the breeze on my fuzzy head to care.
I say fuck the assumptions. If something is your freedom, do it.
I just cut mine off because it was something I needed to do for myself. I was sick of second guessing everything I did, and having long hair was something I had really wanted in the past but now just felt weighed down by. Its probably a couple inches long now with a few four or five inch pieces in the front.
I feel amazing and light. You’re exactly right, hair is such a symbol for women. I think controlling that symbol exactly how you want to is very important to feeling not only comfortable but as you said, free.
I think it would be awesome for you to get it all buzzed off. Who cares what people think? It’s about what makes you happy.
I’ve done it a couple of times, and there is nothing better than turning over your pillow and feeling that cool fabric on your neck. Love!
I would do it now, (Ugh! Summer in Texas!) but my hair is the longest it’s been since middle school, and I want to see how far this train will go.
You could always opt for a middle-of-the-road approach and just get a “cute,” short haircut. Still easy-breezy, but less shocking to the masses (if you’re not in the mood for their bullshit).
I just broke down and got a body wave in my hair, because I didn’t want to chop it off, but I was also sick of drying it every morning and getting all sweaty while I slave away with the big round brush. Now I just put some mousse in it and scrunch — soooo much easier for summer. And hey, the 80s are cool again, right?
@Kivrin: Cute short haircuts don’t work on me because my hair is so thick. Growing out a shaved head is awkward, but I usually just slap some headscarves on it as it grows out.
I’m about to chop off all my hair. I’m hesitant because a friend has the haircut I want, and I don’t want her to feel like I’m encroaching on her personal style, but I think I’m ready to do it. I’ve been gearing myself up for literally years, pathetic as that is.
The recent wind here in Oklahoma (gusting 40-60 mph on occasion) has encouraged me to change my hairstyle to a much shorter cut. And we haven’t even hit the real heat yet. Humidity is extremely high here.
What I really hate though, is that when I contemplate going any shorter I immediately have to worry how my employer would take the change. I do not believe that my looks played a large part in my hiring, but I have to acknowledge the fact that my pleasing heteronormative appearance certainly gave me an advantage.
Dangit, I wrote a response before and the site froze up and didn’t post it.
So anyway, I think you should get a cute, super-short, pixie cut like the ones previously sported by Posh, Michelle Williams, and whoever on ANTM is picked by Tyra as having good bone structure.
It is known as the worst cut for a square face. I have the squarest of square jaws. Please allow me to live vicariously through you. If you go somewhere good, they should be able to handle the thickness….
@s.o.a.l.g.: Ah yes, I forgot, you have Good Jewish Hair.
You’re right, it’s probably difficult to rock a pixie cut. I can sympathize: My father and sister have super-curly Good Jewish Hair, and I have mostly-straight Good Jewish Hair; oddly enough, we’re not Jewish — we just look the stereotype. (Although there are some in the family who think that my father was the result of a torrid affair between my Baptist grandmother and her Jewish doctor. There’s a scandal in every Southern family, I swear…)
I say go for it. I shaved my head for the first time a few months ago, and loved it. It’s back to about 2 1/2 inches or so, and it can be a bit awkward, but so worth it . . . though I picked a bad time of the year to do it (February in Canada – brr!).
I personally kind of loved the weird looks, and I never got any slurs.
Dooo eet, and enjoy the cool breeze!
I whacked three feet of hair off when I was 24, then dyed it fuchsia and black a year later–never ever going back to long hair!!!
I have never shaved my head, but I had the super short pixie-cut for a while. Decided to grow it out because I got tired of being told I look like a boy (I was even called sir once, while I was wearing a skirt, blouse, earrings, and a necklace). It still irks me that one of my reasons for going back to a bob is that I don’t want to deal with other people’s dumb comments.
I’m not jewish but I have “good jewish hair” and it has tormented me forever, if it’s short it looks like i have an afro and long is the only way to keep it from going straight up. Which kind of sucks because I live in Arizona.
ah, i also share that hair and your name. i know exactly how you feel in the heat. i’ve been considering chopping mine off all week…
@Rebecca: Ah, it’s been a while since my hair has been a different color. I kind of miss it.
@Jenny: Oh, I envy that you never got slurs. Someone I knew from middle school saw me with the shaved head and called me a “kike dyke”. That was fun.
I shaved my head about a month ago, and plan on keeping the style. I live in middle Georgia (Milledgeville, to be exact), and though the students I attend school with are predominantly racist, sexit bigots, most people have responded positively. A lot of women have approached me and applauded what they consider “courage” to whack all of it off, and sidle up to secretly whisper that they fantasize about it as well.
I’ve also been on the recieving end of many sexual slurs, but I was expecting that (I had a “radical” reputation before the new ‘do). I was actually asked to give a speech about the politics of women’s hair throughout history at a student-body meeting BECAUSE of the sensation my hair has caused. People were very responsive to it (“I had no idea! I’d never thought of it that way!, etc.) and the stories I related to them about the way people treat and judge me (and all women) based solely on how long my hair is, what color it is, and/or how I wear it.
So chopping it all off gets my vote, but I’m sure whatever you decide to do or not do will be deliciously revolutionary!
Thanks for posting on this – it’s nice to share and hear others’ stories!! <3
Kim, may the badass ghost of Flannery O’Connor be with you as you weather the storms of the silly Milledgvillians. One day I hope to get there to see Andalusia. I’m a HUGE FOC fan.
I know someone who recently shaved her head as part of a cancer awareness event. I thought that was neat.
Personally I wouldn’t do it (I love my hair to much), but if it’s what you want, go for it!
Do what makes you happy! In the end, that’s all that ever matters. Unless what makes you happy is murdering puppies–that’s bad. But you would never do that.
Personally, I’ve always wanted to shave my head, just as something to say I’ve done. I also have thick, curly hair, though, and I worry about what will happen when it grows out.
@BHB: No puppy killing! The only things that may be injured will be my precious tendrils of hair. My precious…
@Kim: Thank you for sharing that. I haven’t met many other women who have gone through with shaving their heads. I was only 18 when I did it the last time, and it was a real eye-opener in terms of how certain aesthetic decisions are viewed as being weird or even unacceptable in the eyes of other people.
I’ve wanted to shave my head for a long time, but am stopped by the weirdest reason: my mom had her head shaved for brain surgery and looked AWESOME!
And I live in fear that I will look less cool than my mom.
Do it ferchissakes. It’s hair. It’ll grow back.
Funny, we just talked about this with my dude. He’s very old skool about this and thinks that short hair on a woman is bad, always, which I find totally ridiculous but oh well, that’s his opinion. That means he doesn’t have a right to complain when he finds long-ass hairs everywhere. However, we both find it hilarious how (insert a country)’s Next Top Model competitors flip out when they get a short haircut when the makeover day arrives. Seeing that kind of makes me want to shave all my hair off just to prove that IT’S ONLY HAIR AND IT GROWS BACK, FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!
That being said, I have had short hair in the past and I didn’t like it, I guess I’m one of those people who like to hide behind their hair.
Cutting my hair short was the best thing I have done for myself in many ways. Yes, I admit to being afraid that people were going to thing that I was a lesbian, but then I just said to myself “let ‘em think.” What do I care if Joe Schmo on the street thinks I am gay?
Anyway, I also have very thick hair, and with the right stylist, i got a good pixie cut–she spent a lot of time thinning my hair so that it would lay flat–there are apperantely some new techniques out there for short hair cuts, so if you decide to give a pixie style a whirl–maybe do some research and find a stylist that has had the more recent training. Anyway, whatever you decide, you will rock it, no doubt. Cuting my hair short really changed how I percieved myself, and gave me an air of confidence that I didn’t have with my shoulder legnth hair.
Oh, Sarah. I used to have good Jewish hair. Growing up, all I wanted was for it to be straight and shiny… it took a long time to make peace with the curly. In the last few years, it’s gotten thinner and less frizzy (no idea why). It doesn’t look a whole lot different, but it feels very different to me–it feels “wrong.” Like, this is not how my scalp is supposd to work. I miss my old hair! It’s crazy how much my identity is connected to that hair type. You should shave it for the summer (at least so you don’t find yourself thinking, “I always wished I had the guts to do it again.”) But appreciate it too!
@ funnyface: oh, she is. i’m in a single-author o’connor class right now, and i do my homework on her front porch at andalusia when the weather’s nice!! very surreal….
@ SOALG: thanks! :~)
Several years back I had my hair in a black bob ala Uma Thurman in pulp fiction. When my blonde roots started to grow out, I buzzed it all off, myself, on a whim.
I got more compliments when I had “boyishly” short hair than at any other point in my life. Random women would approach me and say how much they liked it and wished they had the courage to do it themselves. I felt like I was setting an example of alternate beauty.
@BHB:
What about Evil puppies?
but your hair belongs to the men who have opinions about it toooooooo!!!!!!
If you want to feel the breeze but don’t want to deal with the insults, do try a pixie. I’m a hairstylist and have done very short haircuts on many thick-haired men and women. The key is to get a cut that’s thinned out with textured ends, like Natalie Portman got when she was growing hers out. A little styling cream goes a long way to controlling puff as it grows, and can stretch the time between appointments.
and now I realize that milliondollarmouth said something similar to me. Oh well.
@Spark: I do enjoy my hair most of the time, and I think it’s probably my best feature. But summertime makes it hell!
Oh, I’ve done it ever summer for the past 2-3 years now as I alternate between Mohawk and buzzed and… the growing out phase. I’ve been thinking about summer shaving again but am also perversely proud at managing to grow it out this long so I’m not sure what I’ll do… shave the back maybe :S
After the fist couple times men at parties asked me if I was lesbian I kinda enjoyed it because I figured it would keep the worst of them from hitting on me. But apparently I don’t “read” very queer anymore without a septum piercing to round out their prejudices.
Oh, and I am jealous of ppl with curly hair and Mohawks it looks so much cooler then my straight, flat, thin locks (grass is always greener, I know).
PS the picture of the sign? Montreal, I got my hair cut there once but didn’t really know what I wanted and so… didn’t really like what I got. I tend to cut my own hair. However, if you’re looking for the barbershop-boyish look of your dreams tho it’s on… Amherst I think.
I have maintained a mohawk for 5 years now, since 9th grade. I have an annual routine that corresponds with the weather. I grow my mohawk out for an entire year. By the time mid-winter comes, my head is pretty well covered in long mohawk. In early spring, I shave it all down to half an inch. It’s so freeing and I feel amazing! I generally do get some strong reactions to it, but I think of it as a good lesson in breaking away from society when you need to for others.
@Meghan: That sign was absolutely perfect for this post! Thanks for telling me where it is.