Comments on: A Tall Cold Glass of Haterade

By: ceejeemcbeegee

ceejeemcbeegee — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:44:35 +0000

Yes, yanking a bitches weave out sounds like a very appropriate reaction. May I remind you to not forget your tennis shoes when you issue said beatdown?

Fwiw, I know several women (friends and family) who have conceived naturally after 40, so it’s not impossible. My mother had me at the ripe old age of 39. With her tubes tied. So miracles happen.

I’m personally sick of the speculation that your ovaries shrivel up and die after 40. My doctors told me that women who have great difficulty conceiving after 40 quite possibly would have had some difficulty at a younger age as well. Sure, fertility decreases as you age, but if you first start trying to get pregnant at 40, how do you know you could have conceived at 30 or 20?

By: Spark

Spark — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:21:41 +0000

@Becky: Yes, agreed that the media/public’s interest in the inner-workings of famous women’s reproductive systems is ultra-creepy and oppressive. But I wonder how to strike the balance when discussing fertility. I hate hate hate the fearmongering that surrounds women “waiting” to have kids, that if we don’t get pregnant young, we’ll end up barren and filled with regret at 27. Whenever I read about declining fertility, I’m instantly suspicious–but at the same time, fertility does change as we age. Fertility treatment is available and can do wonderful things–but it’s not easy (or cheap) and it doesn’t always work. It seems impossible to get objective information. Every scientific study and celebrity baby article is bound up in patriarchal anxiety.

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:49:48 +0000

@Spark: I heard that too. And she’s 44 years old and her husband’s 47, so it’s not surprising that they might not be able to conceive naturally anymore.

I do agree with you that all the over-40 celebrities having babies does contribute to the notion that fertility treatments are are easy and women can conceive with no problem right up into their 40s. Neither is true, but the perception is definitely out there.

That said, I don’t think those women should be the target of cattiness or condemnation. None of them is going around saying “OMG, it was a breeze getting pregnant at 42!”–at least, none that I’ve heard of. But regardless, it’s their right to do whatever they want with their uteri–no woman ever owes anyone an explanation about how or why she decides to bear children (or not).

Also: I have never heard anyone bitch at an over 40 male celebrity who chooses to have children, for whatever reason. Just sayin’.

By: Spark

Spark — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:41:05 +0000

FWIW, I read that SJP had trouble conceiving.

We were all annoyed with BeckyS’s jogging-friend’s guy for assuming fertility treatments are easy–but don’t stories about “older” celebrities having kids contribute to that attitude? I mean, I’m not joining any infertility witch hunts, but maybe there’s some truth underneath the cattiness.

By: Kivrin

Kivrin — Mon, 04 May 2009 13:49:56 +0000

I had totally forgotten about that Salt ‘n Pepa song. Thank you so much for reminding me. Love it!

By: kithkin

kithkin — Mon, 04 May 2009 13:45:04 +0000

I confess that surrogacy squicks me out personally (I don’t believe bodies or body parts ought to be able to be bought or sold, including rent by carrying a child for someone else, mostly because I fear economic coercion in such situations. I will also admit that if my sister or my very best friend asked me to carry a child for her or his family because she or he couldn’t for whatever reason I would have to question this principle pretty hard. I still imagine I’d encourage them to consider adoption, though, which I know has its own set of problems).

However, I have the sense to know that what Sarah Jessica Parker and her family do is none of my fucking business. And I certainly wouldn’t try to make it a fucking culture war thing in the Guardian. What the hell is Groskop trying to do, here, stoke the fires of proletariat rage? “Civilian?” What the hell.

By: sarah.of.a.lesser.god

sarah.of.a.lesser.god — Mon, 04 May 2009 13:11:09 +0000

On the same level of idiocy: a promotional email that showed up at work saying “Twins are the new trend! Sarah Jessica Parker just announced hers, so we have products to celebrate this trend!”

A trend? OY.