Awaiting the bonfire. Via piperkinsvater @ Flickr.
I find bras so. damn. uncomfortable. Why don’t they make bras with cups a little further apart, for those of us whose tits aren’t standing at attention in the middle of our chests? The constant adjusting makes me want to cry. I’m sure Oprah would say I’m just wearing the wrong size. I have seen my fair share of formerly forlorn women walk out of specialty lingerie shops with smiles on their faces and springs in their steps (on tv, natch). Maybe I need to get measured and fitted with a bra made just for me.
But I don’t want to wear a bra at all! I don’t like the straps and wires and clasps against my skin. I am sick of reaching into the neck hole of my shirt to pull sliding straps back up onto my shoulders. But I still have to ask: Have any of you been converted from bra-haters to bra-lovers by a particular brand or style? Help a sister out, at least for during those times when I need to present myself as “professional.”
Amen, my bosom buddy! The bra is always the FIRST thing that comes off when I get home. I hate the elastic grabbing at me.
I recommend you get fitted at a lingerie store, or the lingerie section of a good department store like Nordstrom. That definitely helped me find bras that fit my small, far-apart breasts. I’ve had pretty good luck with some of the VS catalogue’s no underwire bras. But I can’t say I’ve ever found any that turn me into a bra-lover.
Well not to be all up in your bizness but what size are you? I have some good suggestions for the a-hem larger busted woman.
I’m torn on this issue. I hate bras as much as the next lady, and I definitely have a collection of “comfy bras” for wear around the house (assuming I’m not going braless at home, which I often do). But there is a lady at my office who does not wear a bra — or, if she is wearing one, it’s not doing a damn thing — and let me tell you, it’s disconcerting. She has large, saggy breasts with prominent nipples. (I don’t want to know this about her, but I do, because she’s not wearing a damn bra.) Maybe it shouldn’t bother me, but it does.
I wear a 34B. For all I know I could be a 36A though.
Oh, ok. Sorry I can’t be of help then. If it makes you feel any better my good friend hovers between a 34 A-B as well and she hardly ever wears a bra. She favors a cami or tank.
Fantasie bras changed my 34E/F/G life.
i do not like bras either. i also don’t like the process of trying bras on. its grueling and you have to stand in a terribly lit fitting room forever starting at your bare breasts and putting on every kind of bra the salesperson gives you. but its one of those necessary evils.
here is a tip: go to an expensive department store and get fitted and buy one or two bras that fit you well and are expensive. treat them like gold. they’ll hold up forever.
I also hate strap-sneak, I feel like reaching down the neck-hole if your shirt to fetch a wayward strap is almost as bad as digging a wedgie. (I know it’s not but I feel that way) Then I bought a Cacique (?) bra from Lane Bryant, it’s one of the convertable ones where you can put the straps in a million different configurations. Granted I’m a D-cup so this won’t work for you, but I love being strapless. Also bras haven’t bothered me since I passed B-cup cuz support is more comfortable than swinging free.
if you are going to get fitted I reccomend going to a few different places or one SUPER nice place. there’s no guarantee that the person working knows what they’re doing. get fitted and try on a range
I was reading something last week that said most women wash their bras six times a year.
????
Maybe my bras feel so terrible because I wash them more like 40 times a year. And not by themselves but in the machine with everything else.
:blushes:
Oh I do that. Once I marched into VS demanding my money back on a new bra that already had underwire poking out and the sales girl was like, “well are you hand washing?” Me: laughs “no”
Also. I tend to buy bras that are pricier. I have bought from Target and Target-equivalent but I always find the cheaper bras way more uncomfy ie. more likely to dig into my skin in unpleasant ways. Sometimes the more expensive product is just tailored better.
@SarahMC: Bad, bad girl! Warm/hot water is bad for the elastic in bras (or so my mom always told me), and banging around with jeans and stuff can’t be good for the delicate construction of most bras. I only wash mine in cold water, gentle cycle, in one of those circular bags designed for washing bras. And I never, ever put them in the dryer.
I almost always wash in cold water. And I hang the bras up to dry at least. Still, though, I have had enough of the underwire cutting me off at the sideboob. And the slidey straps.
Sorry, my last comment sounded mean — I’m a bit of a laundry freak! I always yell at my friend, who owns a really fancy W/D set but always washes/dries everything on the same damn setting (and then complains about how her clothes never hold up).
I didn’t really think that I was one of those women who are wearing the wrong bra size (though apparently many of us are) but my bras had been bugging me more and than normal and I wasn’t sure if it was because they were old. So I went to Nordstrom’s and got measured and now am wearing the appropriate size and am much more comfortable. I left with a Calvin Klein bra that I have been pleased with. Given the new size that I am I can no longer shop at VS so I, too, am interested in other good brands.
A good friend of mine kept wearing her nursing bras way after it was really necessary because she said they were so comfortable. She was stricken at my suggestion to go back to normal non-knocked-up bras. There are no wires and they are cotton.
I just try to go for compromise and wear things without an (accursed) underwire. I can’t find a picture of the really ugly ones I love that are kind of like wearing a tank top that happens to stop right below your breasts, but this is what I’ve been wearing lately:
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/intimates/bras/wirefreebras/PRD~470009/breathe+by+barely+there+Bralet.jsp
The “barely there bralet”. Its use is, however, limited to the C cup. I am probably a D at this point but this thing is so stretchy and comfy that I can get away with the XL.
Down with underwires!!!!
I switched to underwire-free when nursing and will never go back. I’m a C-cup and feel more comfortable with some support, but I don’t need have my breasts maneuvered into an unnatural position to please a dude or the fashion police. The downside is that most non-underwire bras are blah, but I’ll chose comfy over sexy any day.
I’m much more comfortable without a bra. With my CFS like it is, it’s not as though I’m about to hop into a vigorous squash game or dance at any minute. But with F-sized post-baby breasts, unfortunately my body isn’t at all “socially acceptable” braless, at least not in summer clothing which we wear about 8-9 months of the year, so for now I’m choosing to put up with them for most outings.
The laundry thing, though? Nope. If it needs special laundering, it doesn’t enter this house in the first place. (I also haven’t seen the iron since we moved here 18 months ago, and don’t care enough to look for it.) I buy wireless bras from Bodywise, have for years, and they have to look out for themselves in the same load as everything else. They get washed every wear (see above re: hot weather!) They’ve been holding up so far.
Sarah, I think your bras probably get worn out fast if you wash them that much. That said, I could probably wash mine more often (she says sheepishly).
But yeah, fuck hand-washing. I do not have the time. I usually put them in a pillowcase and knot it at one end so they don’t get dragged around inside the machine with all my other clothes (since I live in an apt. building with a communal washing room, we don’t have a “delicate” setting on our washers. They’re just massive industrial-grade behemoths that are hell on delicates).
That is probably the sort of bra I should be wearing, Kim. I should have quit wearing underwire long ago, since my tits aren’t shaped or positioned the way the underwires want.
Am I just really stupid at physics or something? How do the bras get clean if you put them inside something else when washing?
I only like bras because, well, my breasts are sizable and therefore a bit heavy. But then I hate bras because they’re a pain in the fucking ass and I have to get mine custom-fit. I must say, doing a custom fit works wonders, and the place I go to does not even charge for custom fitting and alterations. Finding a 28D is impossible so thank God for the good people at Intimacy.
@Sarah: Oh, the soap and water get inside the pillowcase–that’s how the inside of pillowcase gets clean, after all. The pillowcase fills with soapy suds and everything inside swishes around in them, and then in the rinse cycle, it all rinses out. You can buy a mesh bag for your lingerie that does the same thing but I’m lazy and I’ve found a pillowcase works just as well.
Soapy water gets pushed though mesh or pillowcase, dirt gets pushed out. Voila!
I love an underwire, which maybe is because of the D-cups, but not any old bra will do. I used to have an Olga model I liked, and they discontinued it, now I’m looking for the new default. If I had endless cash, I’d go all Wacoal, all the time, but I don’t. CK has never worked for me, which is sad, because I like their simplicity.
ausgezeichnet42 – I was just going to recommend nursing bras! Even the cheap ones from Target have nice wide straps, stretchy material and no underwire. They’re also made to be comfortable rather than pretty so no itchy bits. If you don’t want to wear the kind with the unhookable cups, Medela makes a pullover cotton type that is like a less-binding sports bra. I’m never taking mine off.
Going without is super uncomfortable for me, but if it feels fine to you, why change? That being said, getting a professional fitting made a world of difference to me. My favorite bra right now is DKNY, though I can’t find the style. I went to an upscale department store and the women there were very helpful.
I wash in the sink with Forever New detergent, which I got at the lingerie store Intimacy (there’s one on the Upper East Side). Keeps the elastic from getting stretched out. Intimacy does fittings as well, but last time I was there, I found their bras unattractive and pricey.
@soalg: 28D!!!! dude, I thought I had it bad with 32D (I usually just give up and buy 34D)
Oh I don’t think I’ll stop going braless in the comfort of my own home (or grocery store or dog-walks, etc.) but I will keep these tips in mind when I go bra shopping!
I don’t know how you dress generally, but if you’re wearing, say, button-down shirts or sweaters at work you might be just fine with just a tank top or undershirt (maybe two if you work somewhere cold or you have sensitive nipples that might show through), no bra. I’m a B cup also and I don’t like bras much either. I’ll wear them from time to time, but one or two ribbed tank tops under just about any outfit prevents nipple show-through, and sometimes I wear those tank tops with elastic in them for support.
I feel a little torn on the subject of bras. When they are constructed properly and fitted properly, they can provide much-needed support and should also provide comfort. But since I’m not well endowed, I don’t find myself in many situations where I “need” to wear one, so I don’t. However, several of my female friends are chesty, and for women with large breasts, good bras aren’t just about comfort, it’s about their health. A good bra can help with breast-related back and posture problems for some women, so I can’t in good conscience be a bra burner. :/
It all comes down to personal choice. If you find comfy bras you like, then by gods wear them. If you don’t like bras, then you shouldn’t be shamed into feeling like you have to wear one to be pretty/attractive/normal/a decent human being.
I do recommend getting properly fitted, though. I know a couple of people who, while not “converted,” find that a proper fitting does make things more tolerable when you do feel the need to wear one.
Ooooh, I hear ya. The bra gets flung into a corner long before my high heels do. If your underwire tends to dig into your sides, you are probably wearing a cup size that is too small.
For example, I currently measure in between a 32B/34C. For years I thought I was a 38B, and couldn’t figure out why in the hell my bras kept sliding up my back and off my shoulders–and why nothing ever fit me. Found this article:
http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2005/12/girly-stuff-ultimate-bra-post.html
Measured myself properly, figured out my correct size, and bought me some bras that FIT.
VS carries bras in their “Pink” line that have the ability to clip in the back (racerback style), or be worn normally. Their push up bra is surprisingly comfy, and, being a member of the far-apart-and-wall-eyed-nippled-group, it’s not so much about mondo cleavage since the boobs are so far apart to begin with.
Good luck to you! May your undies be as comfy as possible!
Seriously, it is totally worth it to measure yourself/get fitted by a professional.
And the other womenz are right about treating your bras nicely–the elastic does go all to hell if you don’t…and I don’t have $50 to drop monthly on extra bras.
(gah, my paragraphs got all mixed up! do pay careful attention to what bitchphd says about the band carrying the weight of your breasts, *not* your straps. makes everything more comfortable, that does!)
(also, i’ve found that solid sided bras (as opposed to thin or lacey ones) hold everything together faaaar more easily.)
I never wear a bra. I stopped about 7 years ago when I first learned about feminism and how wearing a bra is one more thing we do to conform to patriarchy. I also read that some studies show a correlation between wearing a bra and breast cancer (by increasing the breast temperature, cancer has more blood coming to it).
I am my own boss so it’s easier to not feel pressured to wear a bra to work. I love the freedom in my body and my breathing. I see a lot of clients who wear really tight bras and how the tension in their mid-back increases as a result. But I understand that some women feel more comfortable in bras. I wonder though if it is a conditioned good feeling because of the bullying that goes on in the schools if you are heavy-chested. Any thoughts?
Definitely 2nd all the women who suggest switching to non-underwire. They don’t push your boobs into such unnatural positions and there’s definitely no poking.
@bluet: I personally wear a bra because my breasts hurt if I don’t. They are big enough to jostle around, and when I’m running and dancing, I want them in place, instead of thumping against my ribcage and hurting me.
Now, eight to twelve hours of wearing one is PLENTY of time, and when I’m puttering about at home, there’s no way in hell I’m going to stick one on–but I’m also not moving around in ways that make my breasts ache.
I don’t think it’s *necessarily* conditioned thinking. Some of us wear them for non-patriarchy-enforced reasons.
Thanks for bringing this topic up – bras are hell for me. I have pretty big boobs (about a 40DD or so) and small shoulders. I’ve been professionally fitted – and the bras can cost over $100 and aren’t appropriate for work – my nipples are ALWAYS visible, or what’s worse, they just give up and say they can’t fit me at their store.
I’ve had a little luck at Soma – in their LARGEST size, but I still have to try on so many bras to find a new one that I leave sore and nearly crying with frustration. I’ve even tried the Nordstrom’s route and they never manage to have a damn thing that fits.
Many of the bras built for larger busts seem to be non-supportive or thin fabrics that always show my nipples through – or the stiff padded Cacique bras from Lane Bryant (my sister jokes and says they come with breasts already included, the padding is so thick).
I’ve seriously thought about forgoing bras at all – but my breasts are so big that they’re painfully sore at the end of the day – and I can’t just bind them or wear a sports bra as I work as a fancypants exec so have to wear business dress.
Any ideas?! I’d rather be roasted over hot coals than go bra shopping again…
I love underwire bras. I am somewhere between a 34 C and D depending on the day, and if something is not keeping them in place they just get in my way all the time. I just don’t mind them at all.
Pants, however, are the first thing to come off when I come home.
@kita: Do you know a good seamstress? Or maybe an alchemy request through etsy.com? (Now, granted, bras are a royal pain in the derriere to make, but that might be a reasonable option, considering how difficult this has been for you.)
A thought: can you get a cup size that fits, and some of those handy-dandy bra clasp extenders? I know JC Penney’s sells them… Maybe that would help?
“I wonder though if it is a conditioned good feeling because of the bullying that goes on in the schools if you are heavy-chested. Any thoughts?”
It’s because I don’t like my boobs jiggling as I type, or when going down stairs (ow), or under-boob sweat. That being said, does anyone know of any camisoles-with-shelf-bra that come in plus sizes? I think they’d be good for puttering and chilling.
I’m not at all convinced by the temperature/blood flow/breast cancer link. Apart from the fact that the pathophysiology isn’t gelling for me, there’s also lactation: mine lit up like Christmas trees on the thermograph while lactating, but lactation decreases the risk of breast cancer (in a rather convincing dose-response relationship).
Puttering and chilling are two of my favorite activities. I really feel for those of you with big ones. I hope some people are able to give good suggestions!
@lauredhel & bluet: The actual data behind that “bras and breast cancer” theory is very shaky indeed. Remember, correlation does not equal causation. In our society nearly all women wear bras. We have higher rates of breast cancer than many other societies. That’s correlation. But it is absolutely not causation.
RocktheDebit: Under-boob sweat is the worstiest. RE: plus size shelf-camis: I’d check online sources @ Torrid, LB, Land’s End, Old Navy, and Figleaves.com. Just off the top of my head. You might also look in sporting goods stores? I want a couple of those camis w/ sized support built in, AKA The Only Thing in the SkyMall Catalog that Doesn’t Make Me Weep for Humanity, but they’re expensive.
RocktheDebit – I’ve found great shelf bra tanks at old navy, I still wear a bra under them but they’re my favorite shirts, wicked comfy
I got professionally fitted at a privately owned store and finally found out that I’m a 32D, borderline DD (I was wearing a 34C). I find that a lot of stores fit you wrong because they aren’t trained properly. I went to one place and they told me I was a 30C and that it didn’t matter if the bra dug into my skin? It was ridiculous.
I wear bras called Fit Fully Yours, they aren’t super padded and I find them incredibly comfortable. They ended my extreme frustration regarding bras at any rate.
I guess I have it easy because I have a pretty easy size (34B), but I LOVE bras. I even sleep in a camisole with a built-in bra because I hate flopping around.
I’ve had the same bras from Victoria’s secret for oh…probably 6 years or so, and they are still in good condition and still really comfy. I do hand wash them, though–but it’s really not as difficult as you think. I just fill a basin with soapy water, let them soak while I do other things (often overnight), and when I come back, I just scrub a bit and hang them up to dry. It probably costs me about 5 minutes of work, and I just have enough bras that I can wait until I have a good collection to do all at once again.
@Endora: okay, ‘fess up–do you have enough panties to last you through a month without having to do a load of laundry?
(not that i go to target to buy panties expressly for this purpose. oh no not me.)
Some friends on livejournal recommended this company’s bras to me:
http://www.decentexposures.com/bra.shtml
They look like what I want–no wires or padding, breathable material, etc. I ordered one, but it hasn’t gotten here yet, so I can’t review it for sure yet
(I’m a little worried about the possible bunching material at the front showing, but I’m sure it won’t be noticeable under T-shirts at least.)
I wish I could go without one, but I can’t. These are the comfiest ones I’ve found, but they are American Apparel, so you may object: http://store.americanapparel.net/8319.html#i