MSN Astrology e-mailed me my horoscope today. Usually I delete without reading, but seeing as how my birthday was yesterday, I was curious to see what the stars (allegedly) had to say about the beginning of my 34th year.
Apparently it was “Misogynist Fuckery Day” at MSN Astrology:
The wagon train is headed out so you better hop on board, Becky. People aren’t apt to be too sympathetic to your emotional sob story today, so keep it under wraps. Whining about anything will most certainly get you kicked off the wagon altogether. The energy of the day is teaching you to toughen up. Don’t take it personally, but realize that there are important lessons that we all need to learn, and one of those knows when to just be silent and obedient.
WTF???? Not to be paranoid, but SRSLY…I strongly suspect it would have read differently if the name on the horoscope had been Brian instead of Becky.
It’s gotta be biased – when has a man’s horoscope ever included the phrase “silent and obedient?” I’m glad to see you are doing the exact opposite of said phrase by writing a post about this. And contrary to their prescription that listeners be unsympathetic, I voice my full support: Yay you and boo on MSN.
Also, side note… interesting how the use of old-fashioned words like wagon train seems to mirror the old-fashioned ideas of the author about how women should behave.
Wow, this is the passive-aggressive version of, “Don’t be a bitch! Now bend over and let me put my Venus in Uranus.”
When you posted this, I thought, “They wouldn’t send this out just to the women, right? They must send both men and women the same horoscope for the day”. So I went to the website, kept your name the same, but put in “Male” instead. What I saw made my jaw drop to the floor.
Here is the Male Becky’s May 10 horoscope:
Your Horoscope – Today, May 10, 2009
Today you might apply yourself to physical tasks around the house, becky. It’s a good day to work on carpentry projects, car repairs, or home improvements. You’ll feel strong and powerful as you handle these projects. You always enjoy working with your hands. There is something of the craftsman about you. Today you will have fun expressing this part of yourself. Finish projects that have been piling up in your garage or attic.
Can you believe it?! Ye gads, good thing I never use them anymore.
@H: Oh em gee! It’s not paranoia if everyone actually is out to get you…
I think you ought revise the title to read “The Stars are Assholes.”
Oh, wow. So whiny women need to be whipped into obedience and handy men need their ego stroked? Interesting.
Horoscopes? really?
@rodriguez: Yeah, about 15 years ago, when I got that hotmail account, MSN took my birthday down and send me the horoscopes. I mostly just ignore them. I’m not a believer in astrology, but it’s kind of like cracking open a fortune cookie–I don’t buy into it, but if it’s good, I’m always cheered up!
First off, happy birthday!
Second off, the discrepancy between the male and female horoscopes is horrifying. 19th century much?
the dollar store in my town has boy grabbags and girl grabbags. Kindof the same thing?