At least I'm not the only one with a penchant for pointless endeavors. via keso @ flickr
To be fair, a few of these are reasonable. But not really the first one listed. Or the second one. Below, we provide a handy guide for confused souls:
UNREASONABLE:
I AM TIRED OF LOOKING LIKE AN ASS GOD — I’m backing away very slowly.
pet name for pussys — I had a cat named Juanita. Is this what you’re asking for?
REASONABLE:
I’m an attractive funny woman why am I single — Truly, a question for the ages.
bridesmaid dresses area waste of money — The area does not matter. They are a waste of money everywhere
male bridesmaids dresses — Are we talking about kilts? If so, then aye, this wee part-Scottish lass approves.
UNREASONABLE
women fucking the devil — Sigh.
60 year old wimon fucking — More evidence of the link between illiteracy and appetite for porn.
SEMI-REASONABLE
why did harpies turn ugly? — Watch your mouth! Also, consult Bulfinch’s Mythology.
But wait! There’s more delicious misadventures in Googling…
A FUNDAMENTAL MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHAT WE OFFER HERE
missionary position I’m bad at it — We don’t offer lessons. Sorry.
Does females really like big “dicks” — Not necessarily. And why is dicks in quotation marks?
fun sex — UR DOIN IT RITE
THE DUH AWARD GOES TO…
sexism is prevalent in advertising — I’m shocked, shocked!
hot girls who strip completely naked no bras and no pantys — From the Department of Redundancy Department! I think that, by definition, someone who is completely naked would have no bras and no pantys. (Or panties, for that matter.)
OUR KIND OF GOOGLER:
definition+successful+woman+feminism = Why yes!
reasons for not saying your sorry — We have some of those.
I hate Carrie Bradshaw — Join the club, sweetie
GET OVER YOURSELF:
don’t cuss around a lady — We can handle it, I promise.
WTF?
I feminized my boyfriend — Are you happy? Regretful? Turned on? Tell me more.
big ass bubble butt IN FREINC NIKERS — Is “FREINC NIKERS” supposed to be French knickers? Does anyone have a “horny Googler” translator?
Men putting soda on their dicks — Why? I mean really…why?
why do bi women hate the penis — Are we talking about a specific penis?
how big those a black male dick get — As opposed to a black female dick? Also: whut?
elephant sex scene — Thank you for giving me nightmares with this one.
I think elephant sex scene is my favourite. It does encourage all sorts of nightmarish possibilities for a European indie flick, no?
I wish I looked like an ass god. (Meaning I wish I had a really great ass, of course).
Also, the more I look at “FREINC NIKERS,” the harder I laugh.
People* make no damn sense. I’m going back to bed now.
*People = non-Harpies, obviously
male bridesmaids dresses — Are we talking about kilts? If so, then aye, this wee part-Scottish lass approves.
Even if it’s not kilts, I totally approve. This is actually a totally awesome search. If you eschew gender norms and are in a wedding party, why can’t you wear a bridesmaid’s dress? Can you imagine how awesome it would be if a male that enjoyed wearing women’s clothes, was gender neutral, was trans (anything, really) were in the bridal party and was allowed to wear a dress? I think it would be totally awesome. Just because it’s your wedding doesn’t mean that the people in your bridal party can’t be themselves.
Or even someone on the groom’s side that was male but preferred to wear dresses. Male bridesmaid’s dresses, FTW.
This never fails to amuse me. Also, some of these people clearly shoulda been doing image search. Or on YouTube. I mean, I’m sure elephant sex scene searcher wanted some video!
Most of the search terms that lead people to my blog are misspelled, but my favorite is “webbed toes.” Like, did this person HAVE webbed toes? Do they like webbed toes? Were they looking to find others who also have webbed toes? I’m sure they were really disappointed to find that I had written about my dog who has webbed toes.
when I read “FREINC NIKERS” images of runners doing “freinc” things jogs through… though given freinc currently does not have a definition, my imagination is having lots of fun thinking up freincy things…
Attempt to read “FREINC NIKERS” aloud and you’ll laugh even harder!
“why do bi women hate the penis”
This just doesn’t add up.