Yesterday my beloved best friend since childhood sent me a link to an interview with the phenomenally talented Kristin Chenoweth in OutSmart magazine. I’ve always had a lot of time for Kristin, because she’s one of the few evangelical Christians I know who’s outspokenly, unapologetically pro gay rights, and not afraid to tell her fellow Christians that Jesus would be too. The interview also includes Kristin’s take on her gay best friend:
We call each other our non-sexual life partners. If I don’t ever end up finding the right man, and I decide that I really want to have a baby, he’ll be the daddy—why wouldn’t I want to have it with my best friend?
As a matter of fact, I have a non-sexual life partner too–and exactly the same agreement with him. Which is why he sent me the link.
Rico and I met in 7th grade. I was 11 years old, a total geek, something of an outsider. He was 12, a Salvadoran immigrant, also a geek and an outsider. I can’t remember exactly when we clicked, but we did. I’m not sure that I knew in high school that Rico was gay–I really didn’t think about it too much–but he certainly came across as different. While I suffered Mean Girl bullshit, he drew his share of Mean Homophobic Guy bullshit from our finest suburban Virginia jocks. (Yeah, Hank Proctor and Chris Corkey, I’m calling you out right here, you ignorant motherfuckers!). It wasn’t until college that he felt free enough to become the glorious out-and-proud dreamboat he was always meant to be.
All through our teens, Rico and I had a deal: if we weren’t dating anyone come prom time, we would go to prom together. And we did. Now that we’re in our thirties, we have another deal: if I don’t meet the future Mr. BeckySharper by the time my biological clock starts to wind down, Rico and I are going to have some babies together. And why not? If you can’t have a child with your loving, caring, faithful best friend of 20+ years, who can you have one with?
Now, granted, this is a backup plan. I’d like to find the all-in-one friend/lover/baby daddy package. Even if I do, I suspect I’ll be a little disappointed that getting married will mean I miss my chance to reproduce with one of the most amazing people I know (also, we’d have some gorgeous, brilliant little Salvadoran-Jewish hybrids). But for the record, I’m totally with Kristin Chenoweth: gay or straight, a life partner is a life partner! I’m blessed to have one.