The body of Valicia Andrea Demery, 19, was discovered this week on the running track at a high school in Prince George’s County, Maryland. Police say her boyfriend ran her over with his car. She was five months pregnant. Both had attended the Forestville Military Academy, where Demery’s body was found.
Demery’s father said 20 year old Bernard Bellamy didn’t want her to have a baby, but she wanted him to be a part of the baby’s life. The two exchanged these text messages prior to the murder:
She said: I really hope you cum to ur senses soon. I didn’t make this baby myself.
Him: I hope u come 2 urs b4 its 2 late.
Her: B4 whats too late?
Him: U will see
According to the Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. The majority of victims are young, single, and African-American, and most are killed by the men who got them pregnant.
I heard about the discovery of Demery’s body on the local news the other day. It’s chilling that “get the boyfriend” is the first thing that pops into my head in cases like hers. But, sadly, it’s the surest path to finding the killers – men who consider murder a good alternative to fatherhood (or a monthly child support payment). These murders are not isolated incidents; they are symptomatic of a culture wherein men feel entitled to control women’s lives and bodies. Step out of line, make a decision they don’t like, and they might punish you for it. I don’t know how to put an end to it, but I know pregnancy should not be a risk factor for murder.
Oh no. What a truly horrible story. I don’t really have anything more to add, except this is yet another example from the discussion earlier in the week about the culture of male violence.
Wow, those text messages are… chilling.
It’s such an infuriatingly sad situation that I’m a little at a loss. The world shouldn’t be this way. Pregnancy should not be a risk factor for murder.
My thoughts are with her family.
Those text messages are really frightening. Note to men: murder is not an acceptable form of birth control.
This is really tragic. Symptomatic of so many failing systems.
It’s also so ironic considering all the “men should have a say in what women do with their bodies!” whining recently. I honestly believe that things like this are a consequence of opinions like that. “…they are symptomatic of a culture wherein men feel entitled to control women’s lives and bodies.” Exactly.
I’m a therapist at a domestic violence center. The number one cause of death among pregnant women is homicide– and usually by the father of the child. The two most dangerous times for a woman in an abusive relationship are when she is pregnant and when she leaves. It’s when lethality is highest.
It’s so, so sad, but unfortunately not surprising. And there isn’t enough media coverage or public outrage over it. It happens every day. I wish I could find the article now, but I read one last week that showed the number of people that had died of swine flu since the “epidemic” started, and the number of women (and their children) that were killed in DV incidents by their partners in the same time period.
The number of women and children killed by their partners was almost 3 to 4 times the number of people that died of the swine flu. And which one was all over every single news channel every minute of every day? Which one was everyone talking about?
Yeah.
Wow. Yet another issue on which feminists and domestic violence advocates are doing the good work on “life” issues such as the survival of pregnant women and their wanted fetuses.
@Britni
It’s so terrible. And I just can’t help but get more angry at the Christian right/conservatives because they spend so much time and money and energy on trying to ‘save’ fetuses by denying women the right to choose, meanwhile they sit and do NOTHING to help these women. In fact their anti-tax stance makes it worse as it means less money goes to DV centers and shelters thereby keeping these women and their unborn babies in danger of their lives.
Let’s also note that those of us outside SarahMC’s region have not heard of this because the victim doesn’t look like Laci Peterson. Otherwise, the media would be all over this story like flies on you-know-what. Not because they give a damn about the underlying misogyny of the crime, but because it’s such good copy to write about pretty white women victims.
@s.o.a.l.g: Duly noted. If this were a pretty white girl this would have all the makings of national news crises and a “ripped from the headlines” L&O.
I just can’t begin to comprehend the thought process that says “Don’t want to be a dad? Kill your pregnant partner.” These statistics speak so much to the assumption that men have the right to control reproduction, and women are just baby vessels to be disposed of if they “misfire”.
Kelsium, as you and bluebears mentioned, it’s totally about control. As horrible as the realities are, I can’t say I’m surprised. Pregnancy and childbirth are things that men really can’t control, which has got to make them (meaning the poisoned and poisonous ones who rely on and revel in power over women) feel completely horrified and un-manned. It’s quite logical (again, in their hideously distorted minds) for them to reclaim their manhood by exerting the “ultimate” control–by killing their partner/offspring.
Amazing that control is only thought of after the fact. There’s a hell of a lot of control available in choosing contraception but I have the sinking feeling that those who would inflict violence on their partner because of pregnancy might not have done much to prevent it in the first place.
Wow, I have no idea of those statistics. That’s incredibly horrible. While I agree that it’s about control, killing your pregnant partner isn’t control, it’s just destruction!
There absolutely needs to be more outrage about this.
That’s disgusting. My friday night is ruined. I hope news of this story becomes more mainstream just so people can be made aware that things like this happen.
Late as usual (it’s finals week), but I heard this on the local news too, SarahMC, and my first thought was also, “the boyfriend did it.” I hate being proven right. It’s so trafic – I can’t think of a case (that I have heard about, anyway) where a pregnant woman was murdered where the culprit DIDN’T turn out to be the baby’s father.
This happened right near my school, and I haven’t heard any sadness or outrage about it. It seems like people are forgetting already.
uh, tragic, not trafic. I really need to look into spell check…
[...] Pregnant Bodies Piling Up – “I heard about the discovery of Demery’s body on the local news the other day. It’s chilling that “get the boyfriend” is the first thing that pops into my head in cases like hers. But, sadly, it’s the surest path to finding the killers – men who consider murder a good alternative to fatherhood (or a monthly child support payment). These murders are not isolated incidents; they are symptomatic of a culture wherein men feel entitled to control women’s lives and bodies. Step out of line, make a decision they don’t like, and they might punish you for it. I don’t know how to put an end to it, but I know pregnancy should not be a risk factor for murder.” [...]
@s.o.a.l.g: I don’t think her race necessarily played a part in the coverage of this story.
Lacy Peterson was missing days before she was found and their was a long search for her killer (before people started suspecting her husband). It made the story more intriguing. This case is almost cut and dry with the emergence of the text messages, there is not need to hunt for her killer and there really is no need to have more than a few reports on it until the trial.
The real question is how should the media address domestic violence more efficiently. I don’t think just talking about the stats is enough?
Also how many murder stories in your neck of the woods make it to the national news. It just seems to simple to say if she were white and pretty CNN would be all over this. There are plenty of pretty white girls in my town who have gone missing or killed and the cases never make the national circuit.
Don’t think of a second I’m ignorant to the race disparities in news coverage but it seems like the local cases that do make the national circuit are few and far between.
There are no words to describe how horrible this is. And to think he texted her before with a kind of warning…Definitely premeditated.