Comments on: Nothing But a Number

By: Endora

Endora — Tue, 19 May 2009 10:36:50 +0000

@funnyface, emilyanne: We must be related. My mother is horribly morbid, she is always telling me which of her things I’m not allowed to get rid of after she dies, what she wants played at her funeral, and she sits with her back to the wall at restaurants.

It drives me NUTS, though, I can’t stand the morbidity.

Oh, and when somebody dies, she and her brothers and sisters call each other up and try to be the first ones to let the others know who died. The conversation inevitably starts, very classy-like, with the words, “Guess who died?”.

By: rengeko

rengeko — Tue, 19 May 2009 08:00:51 +0000

i have to say, that while i am not quite as advanced as your mother or grandmother, my 41st birthday a little over 2 weeks ago was the best i can remember. i didn’t think of how old i was getting, or really anything. i went out to lunch, and bought books. i can’t think of any better way to celebrate, myself.

By: Isa

Isa — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:32:55 +0000

My family has always been fairly straightforward about death and all things surrounding it. My parents asked at an early age which of their houses I would prefer to inherit and so on, and taught me the importance of having your affairs sorted out. Death isn’t something that bothers me. I’ve seen a lot of people I love die, I think it’s healthy to be aware and accepting of the fact that it comes for all of us, rather than being afraid.

By: baraqiel

baraqiel — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:57:53 +0000

@s.o.a.l.g. – Yeah, that’s a reasonable thought. I guess so many people avoid even the merest thought of death, as if it just won’t happen to them, that whenever people face their mortality I see it as healthy. But there should be a way to both accept mortality and celebrate age, which is something our culture has definitely lost.

By: sarah.of.a.lesser.god

sarah.of.a.lesser.god — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:39:35 +0000

@baraqiel: It’s not unreasonable to discuss mortality at all, but I wish that birthdays for people who are elderly were seen more as a celebration of living to that age than an approaching crawl to death. Aging is treated as the worst thing that can happen to a person, disregarding all the positives that come along with it.

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:30:58 +0000

funnyface, thank goodness, it’s not just my family then. My family are terribly morbid, we’ve all discussed our funerals, we all know what we’re leaving each other and my mum bought us up to know where emergency exits are everywhere we go in case disaster befalls us. Also yes i do prefer to sit with my back to the wall in restaurants….

By: baraqiel

baraqiel — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:20:33 +0000

I think I agree with you about your mother, but not your grandmother (man, that’s a weird sentence to type). It would be awesome if your mom was able to concentrate on how much cool stuff she’s done and how much she has yet to do. But somehow I don’t see anything wrong with a person confronting their own mortality and coming to terms with it and birthdays can be good days for that. Of course you don’t like to think of your grandmother dying (nor do I about mine) but I think it’s perfectly reasonable for her to do so.

By: funnyface

funnyface — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:44:07 +0000

I think I just come from a family with a morbid streak. For my entire life, my Memaw has been asking us what of her furniture we wish to inherit, and once we’ve staked a claim, she writes our names on the back/bottom of pieces to ensure we get it. My mother and I have often had casual conversations about the kind of music she wants played at her funeral (“I’ll Fly Away” is her #1 choice if you’re wondering). I’ve even casually talked about my desire to be cremated and other end-of-life things with friends and family members. I have a feeling all this will be worse when I’m in my 80s.