Comments on: In Defense of the Girl Child http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/ As narrated by five of the most charming and vicious women on the internet Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:50:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Alix http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8778 Alix Thu, 21 May 2009 03:25:32 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8778 Both are hard; my daughter hit the terrible teens early, my son late; but both spent about the same amount of time there. Both are hard; my daughter hit the terrible teens early, my son late; but both spent about the same amount of time there.

]]> By: Tersa http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8735 Tersa Wed, 20 May 2009 16:33:44 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8735 @Kithkin, thanks. :-) @Kithkin, thanks. :-)

]]> By: kithkin http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8733 kithkin Wed, 20 May 2009 15:47:45 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8733 Tersa, that was very well put and gets at what I was trying to say (and failing to express). Tersa, that was very well put and gets at what I was trying to say (and failing to express).

]]> By: Josh http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8718 Josh Wed, 20 May 2009 13:12:25 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8718 When my wife was pregnant 19 short years ago, I was afraid that she was having a boy. I had been raised with three older sisters by my mother, and I had no idea how to raise a boy. He's turned out to be wonderfully empathetic and probably would consider himself a feminist if he really thought about it. It has been a very difficult four years at his all-boys' Catholic high school. I'm not sure it's any easier with our daughter, now 14, other than to say that she is actually a fire-breathing dragon, a phase that will pass. She is fortunately at an all-girls' school, and they don't seem to criticize her for being an atheist, even though it is Catholic, too. When my wife was pregnant 19 short years ago, I was afraid that she was having a boy. I had been raised with three older sisters by my mother, and I had no idea how to raise a boy. He’s turned out to be wonderfully empathetic and probably would consider himself a feminist if he really thought about it. It has been a very difficult four years at his all-boys’ Catholic high school.

I’m not sure it’s any easier with our daughter, now 14, other than to say that she is actually a fire-breathing dragon, a phase that will pass. She is fortunately at an all-girls’ school, and they don’t seem to criticize her for being an atheist, even though it is Catholic, too.

]]> By: Sh http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8705 Sh Wed, 20 May 2009 02:37:10 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8705 Just had a party with 11, 10-11 year old girls. When they all went home, I made the statement, "I now know why girls lose self-esteem in middle school.... because everyone is telling them to be quiet." Girls are noisier as teenagers, voices are a few (hundred:) octaves higher and it's not pleasant on the ears. I remember teachers telling us girls to be quiet on field trips and thinking, "the boys are talking just as much". I remember getting increasingly more quiet through middle school until I was silent by high school. I try to provide my daughters with space to hear their voices raised. and sometimes my ears need a rest. Just had a party with 11, 10-11 year old girls. When they all went home, I made the statement, “I now know why girls lose self-esteem in middle school…. because everyone is telling them to be quiet.” Girls are noisier as teenagers, voices are a few (hundred:) octaves higher and it’s not pleasant on the ears. I remember teachers telling us girls to be quiet on field trips and thinking, “the boys are talking just as much”. I remember getting increasingly more quiet through middle school until I was silent by high school. I try to provide my daughters with space to hear their voices raised. and sometimes my ears need a rest.

]]> By: rodriguez http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8703 rodriguez Wed, 20 May 2009 01:04:05 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8703 @gestating <i>How do I raise a feminist son?</i> Great question. I ponder that every day, in re my 14 yo son. I catch myself discussing feminist issues with my daughter and then think...wait...my son needs to hear this stuff more than she does. @gestating How do I raise a feminist son? Great question. I ponder that every day, in re my 14 yo son. I catch myself discussing feminist issues with my daughter and then think…wait…my son needs to hear this stuff more than she does.

]]> By: Spark http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8702 Spark Wed, 20 May 2009 00:56:32 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8702 I worry more about raising a boy, for the reasons baraqiel described. Even though girls face so many challenges, I don't fear them as much because they're known quantities. @Gestating, congratulations on your son! I'm sorry other people's weirdness is interfering with your ability to enjoy this moment. I worry more about raising a boy, for the reasons baraqiel described. Even though girls face so many challenges, I don’t fear them as much because they’re known quantities.

@Gestating, congratulations on your son! I’m sorry other people’s weirdness is interfering with your ability to enjoy this moment.

]]> By: Av0gadro http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8699 Av0gadro Wed, 20 May 2009 00:42:41 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8699 When I found out I was having a boy, millions of people told me that boys were easier. And it might have just been an attempt to make me feel better (people definitely assumed that I would want a girl and husband would want a boy). I was a little sad when I found out because there was so much girl-oriented kid lit I wanted to share with a daughter. My mother told me I was being an idiot, and I could certainly read my son Little Women and Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. My son's main playmate is the older girl next door, and every time he's over there he ends up wearing her high heels and princess dresses. Yesterday we were at the store and he begged me to buy him a pair of pink shoes (I did). He also currently owns more necklaces than I do. Gender roles seem so fluid to me at this age that I can't imagine how people who care about that sort of thing enforce it. Did the Duggars punish the boys who played with their sisters' dolls? Forbid the girls to touch the trucks? I assume once school starts I'll start to see some peer-reinforced genderization, but right now he's pretty androgynous, and even if I wanted to change that, I can't imagine how I would. When I found out I was having a boy, millions of people told me that boys were easier. And it might have just been an attempt to make me feel better (people definitely assumed that I would want a girl and husband would want a boy). I was a little sad when I found out because there was so much girl-oriented kid lit I wanted to share with a daughter. My mother told me I was being an idiot, and I could certainly read my son Little Women and Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

My son’s main playmate is the older girl next door, and every time he’s over there he ends up wearing her high heels and princess dresses. Yesterday we were at the store and he begged me to buy him a pair of pink shoes (I did). He also currently owns more necklaces than I do.

Gender roles seem so fluid to me at this age that I can’t imagine how people who care about that sort of thing enforce it. Did the Duggars punish the boys who played with their sisters’ dolls? Forbid the girls to touch the trucks? I assume once school starts I’ll start to see some peer-reinforced genderization, but right now he’s pretty androgynous, and even if I wanted to change that, I can’t imagine how I would.

]]> By: HistoricUpstart http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8698 HistoricUpstart Wed, 20 May 2009 00:21:47 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8698 @baraqiel - I am the same way, being a little scared of how hard it would be to raise a conscientious, feminist-ally son. I absolutely do not ever want to be pregnant, so we are planning on adopting. And we really don't think we will ever want more than one. So, it's like, boy or girl? It is such a BIG choice to make. I don't know how we will figure it out when the time comes. @baraqiel – I am the same way, being a little scared of how hard it would be to raise a conscientious, feminist-ally son. I absolutely do not ever want to be pregnant, so we are planning on adopting. And we really don’t think we will ever want more than one. So, it’s like, boy or girl? It is such a BIG choice to make. I don’t know how we will figure it out when the time comes.

]]> By: PhDork http://www.harpyness.com/2009/05/19/in-defense-of-the-girl-child/comment-page-1/#comment-8695 PhDork Tue, 19 May 2009 23:36:36 +0000 http://www.harpyness.com/?p=6700#comment-8695 Oy. Long ago, I was a guys' girl. Not hostile to other XXs, and I always had some female friends, but my intimates were dudes. In the last 5-7 years, I've developed good friendships with women, to my everlasting benefit. I missed out for a long time (it's not an either-or, now I have both). I have two nephews who are pretty damn cute, but I do wish for a niece. It's totally selfish, but I think that perhaps I could offer her a non-parental, feminist mentor role that might help her deal with all the BS that comes with being born female in this effed-up world. Oy. Long ago, I was a guys’ girl. Not hostile to other XXs, and I always had some female friends, but my intimates were dudes. In the last 5-7 years, I’ve developed good friendships with women, to my everlasting benefit. I missed out for a long time (it’s not an either-or, now I have both).

I have two nephews who are pretty damn cute, but I do wish for a niece. It’s totally selfish, but I think that perhaps I could offer her a non-parental, feminist mentor role that might help her deal with all the BS that comes with being born female in this effed-up world.

]]>