via mercys mama @ flickr
May has become one of my favorite months of the year, not only because it marks warmer weather and the end of a semester but also because it’s when the Social Security Administration releases the data on the most popular baby names for the previous year. Is that an odd thing to look forward to? Maybe, if you’re not someone who’s obsessed with studying names and the cultural patterns that guide their popularity. I’ve been researching this stuff since I was thirteen and have written several drafts of a book on the subject (mercifully never submitted — and hence rejected — for any kind of publication). I’m the kind of person who can tell you what names mean and why certain names rise and fall in popularity. I’m also the kind of person who is really fascinated by the implications of unisex names being used far more for girls than for boys.
Names switching from the boys camp to the unisex camp and then finally to the girls camp is not a new phenomenon. Evelyn, Vivian, and Jocelyn were all formerly boys’ names, and sixty years ago it have would been unthinkable that Sydney would be in the Top 50 for girls. What’s interesting is the current pace at which names that were once viewed as exclusively masculine are becoming massively popular for baby girls.
The 2008 Top 100 names for girls include seventeen names that were either formerly exclusively boys names, many of them originating as surnames: Madison, Addison, Alexis, Ashley, Taylor, Avery, Riley, Aubrey, Morgan, Sydney, Evelyn, Kimberly, Peyton, Mackenzie, Bailey, Paige, and Payton. There is no corresponding list for the Top 100 names for boys. There are a few names that overlap between the two genders (Casey, for instance), but not a single name that originated as a girls name is popular for boys. I’ve never heard of a baby boy being named Emily or Isabella or Abigail or Margaret, but I went to high school with girls named Spencer and Austin, and I have a cousin named Jourdan who grew up meeting people who expected her to be a boy because of her name.
Once names cross into the girls camp, they are usually deemed off-limits for boys. The name Ariel is one of the more notable examples of this phenomenon: prior to the release of The Little Mermaid Ariel was being used for girls but also for boys, as it is a male name in the Old Testament. I went to school with two boys named Ariel, both of whom watched their name gain an indelible association with a cartoon mermaid and tumble down the popularity charts for boys. Similarly, you will be very hard pressed to find a little boy being named Kelly or Kerry or Madison or Dominique (although my best friend’s brother-in-law is named Erin).
When names started emigrating en masse into the unisex/feminine camp in the late 1970s, the names were seen as an alternative for those parents who wanted their daughters to have names that did not immediately identify them by gender. So why is it that names go from male to female and not the other way around? There is a certain phonetic logic to this as it corresponds with notions of gender. The most popular girls names tend to be polysyllabic (Sophia, Amelia, Isabella, Natalie, Elizabeth, Jessica) while the boys names tend to have a blunter sound (Jaden/Hayden/Aidan/Kaden, Kyle, Andrew, Samuel). Many girls names end in vowels, whereas most boys names end in consonants. While there are exceptions to that rule, it generally holds that names originating for girls are viewed as more flowery and feminine and ornate, and boys names are simple and strong. A girl named Dylan won’t face any teasing from kids on the playground about having what is nominally a boys name, but a boy named Zoe would almost certainly have to deal with comments about having a ‘girly’ name.
So should we encourage parents to look to the roster of girls names for their sons just as they look to the roster of boys names for their daughters? Would a wave of baby boys named Emma force people to examine why certain names are assigned to certain genders, or would it just provoke unmitigated mockery of the boys whose names are viewed as feminine? Probably both. When I was considering names for my own son, I didn’t even consider using one of my favorite girls names like Charlotte, immediately settling on Samuel. The nickname Sammy (actually first used by BeckySharper — and it stuck), which I ended up always referring to him as, is a bit more gender-neutral, as I worked with a girl named Samantha but always called Sam or Sammy. But again, the choice was never going to be Samantha, it was going to be the definitively masculine Samuel.
My point in writing this post (which seems to have turned out a bit more dry and academic than I hoped it would be) is to underscore the difficulty in untangling societally dictated gender norms from what can be one of the most personal decisions a new parent makes. While I don’t expect to see hordes of little boys named Lucy running around playgrounds anytime soon, I will remain ever hopeful that maybe the politics of gender will ease up just enough to allow for a more even distribution of back-and-forth when names cross from one gender to another. After all — to completely mangle Shakespeare — What’s in a name? That which we call John/
By any other name (even Sarah) would still be a boy.
Am I the only one who’s totally over the gender neutral surname-sounding names for girls? (Riley, Madison, Addison, Bailey, etc) They’ve become such a cliche.
It also seems significant to me that if you look at the boys’ names for the past couple generations, the top 10-20 names are fairly static: Michael, Joshua, Christopher, David, etc. Women’s names seem to be influenced by fad, but not men’s, which has all kinds of interesting implications.
This reminds me of Frannie and Zooey–Zooey was a boy.
Dominique has Dominick as the male version these days.
In Spain back in the day (I’ve been told), people were named after one of the saints associated with their birthdays. Boy=o (or no vowel), Girl=a. Stem of the name was the same for both. Ex: Manuel/Manuela.
My hairdresser is a lesbian, and she and her partner recently had twin girls. They purposely chose gender-neutral names that would work if they had boys/girls/one each/whatever and also as a statement. I’m frustrated that I can’t remember what they chose now!
Also, I love reading name books while standing around at the bookstore, particularly the ones that tell you what sorts of impressions people get when they hear a name. It’s interesting that the nickname I use garners descriptions that match me better than the full name that I used until 6th grade.
I have a previously boy’s name, now girl (though occasional boy) name as a first name, and a unisex middle name. My parents always assumed I would shorten to K. [middle name] if I went into business, law, medicine, etc.
I think there’s definitely something to be said for having a name that won’t immediately identify your gender when someone looks at it, but it’s interesting that the assumption is that girls with “girly” names shorten/lengthen or will go by something else in professional fields. I’ve heard friends named Lucy or Emma muse about what they would go by as a lawyer, and the attitude was always that they certainly wouldn’t keep their given name professionally. At least not at first.
I know there are several lawyers around, and I’m kind of curious what your experience is with this.
My little brother has two family last names as his first and middle. At least one of them could be, and I have considered for my hypothetical daughter, used as a girl’s name. I think there are still some definitely unisex names. I would disagree that once a name starts being popular for girls it becomes uncouth for boys. In some cases that’s definitely true, like for Ariel. But isn’t Payton still pretty popular for boys?
Madison isn’t. There seems to be something about a mermaid association that kills a boy name.
@Kelsium: Payton/Peyton does not make the Top 100 for boys. However, ANYTHING rhyming with Hayden/Aidan apparently does. The Top 100 features Jayden, Aiden, Brayden, Aidan, Hayden, Jaden, Ayden, Caden, and Kaden.
@BeckySharper: The trends for boys are not entirely static. Names like Noah and Elijah and Gabriel have experienced a resurgence in popularity in the last 15 years, and were not really common before that since the 19th century. However, with the exception of the Hayden/Aidan/Jaden hybrids, they do tend to be names with longer histories. Even names that are newer to the Top 100 (such as Liam and Sebastian and Julian) have some kind of history.
My daughter is named Quinn, and would have been Quinn regardless of whether she was a girl or a boy. We thought it was an unusual enough name that there wouldn’t be any other Quinn’s in her class, which was a big reason for choosing it. Alas, there is another Quinn at the daycare, but it’s a boy! Hurray! And he’s slightly older so in a different room.
I always thought girls can have boys names but not vice versa because males are still privileged and assigning a “girl” name to a boy would represent a step down in the hierarchy.
@s.o.l.g.: Thanks! Wow… what an awful trend. I know girls with variations on Caiden, but I think that’s about it.
My mom didn’t know if I was going to be a girl or a boy and says she had settled on “Max” in case I’d been the latter. I really loved hearing that when I was a kid because 1) I wanted to be a german shepherd and it seemed like such the perfect dog name, and 2) all the cool girls in tv shows and movies and books had “boyish” names like Max or Sam or Jo. It’s just odd to me that my mother, who’s very much a progressive hippie type, picked such distinctively gendered names. But at least I’m not “Magick” or “Rainn,” so there’s a bright side.
I’ve always thought that Gabriel was an interesting unisex name, because of it’s angelic origin. Particularly because of modern day apocalyptic fiction. I mean what other character/name has been played by both Chiristopher Walken(Prophecy movies) and Tilda Swinton(Constantine).
I think it would be interesting to see how many of the names that would be considered angelic have crossed genders back and forth over the years since angels actually get to be unisex.
Great post – names fascinate me. Kelsium, your friends’ experience wondering about their “girly” names raises a good point. It is often assumed that a woman will use the less feminine version of her name, if she has the option, upon entering a profession – “Elizabeth” rather than “Lizzie,” for example. I hate that the standard is that a woman should “play down” her femininity upon entering a male-dominated field. It would be awesome to have a law practice with partners named Annabella, Tiffany, Sabrina, and Penelope!(to pick a few girly names). I love challenging assumptions.
Sarah, this was a really fascinating post. My full name is Elliot (my mom’s maiden name), although I’ve been called Elle since I was a baby. I never heard of another woman named Elliot until Scrubs premiered. I used to loathe having a boy’s name, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s always interesting to see people’s reactions when I meet them after an email or business correspondance and they realize that I’m female.
This topic has been on my mind of late because my husband has an odd phobia about surnames as first names which led to many a discussion where our second child’s name is concerned.
Our daughter actually has a name which would be considered by absolutely everyone to be a girl’s name but which is also the name of Ireland’s champion jump jockey, who is a man. Yes, she was named after him and yes I was quite determined to use the same name if she’d been a boy, a fact my mother was having palpatations about.
My introduction to unisex names was L.M. Montgomery – one of Anne’s sons was called Shirley, and the male protagonist in the Pat books was Hilary. My grandmother grew up hating her “boys name” Shirley, but I don’t think her namesake (my aunt) hated it for that reason, since by that time boys were no longer called Shirley. (My grandmother’s middle name was Ethelwynne, so she didn’t have much consolation in that either).
It’s worth noting that these things are local. Ariel, for example, is still a boys’ name in Israel — whenever I meet Israelis, they’re surprised to find me female. There’s also a question of different pronunciations in different places. I pronounce my name ah-rhee-el, which is also how it’s pronounced in Hebrew, but since the movie, no one calls me anything but air-ee-el.
Anyway, I’ve always been set on giving my daughter an unusual-yet-feminine name if I ever have one — something like Aurelia.
I just remembered, reading my comment, that Anne’s son was given Anne’s maiden name.
@ShinyObjects: My (step)sister’s name is Alexandra and it is ALWAYS shortened to Alix, precisely because she feels Alexandra is too “girly”.
@baraqiel: Yes, that’s a good point about Ariel. And both of the boy Ariels I knew were Jewish so it was influenced by the Old Testament in which it is male.
Elliot was second on our list and I thought it would be suuuch a cute girl name! But I like one-syllable names the best. In fact, the only non-gender-neutral name we considered was Claire, but now I know of two new babies named Claire, so it looks like it’s going to become trendy, so thank god we missed out on that one.
Our friends just had a baby, and they were going to go with Griffin no matter the gender (it was her mom’s family name) but then changed their minds when it turned out to be a boy – they went with Henry instead (his mom’s family name) and used Griffin for the middle name. Still cute.
Anyone else love the name Kelly on a guy? or is it just because I knew an *especially dreamy* one?
BeckySharper–Yes, I’m so tired of those names too. A whole bunch of them got really popular all at once, and now people just won’t let go of them. I’m hoping really traditional names will start to come back in style soon, because I think some of them have been ignored for too long in favor of these new hip ones.
I was really shocked when I recently learned that Vivian used to be a boy’s name. It just sounds so ornate and feminine to me (because it’s always been a girl’s name to me–really obvious now!) that I never would have guessed, but that’s really neat.
I actually know some guys with girl’s names–I don’t know a lot about naming history, but I assume they were traditionally boy’s names. I know a Lindsey and an Eren, both in their early 20s. But there is definitely a difference in having an old-fashioned name that happens to be shared by women and having a girl’s name; I can’t imagine a guy named Kristen. It’d be very cool though.
My parents took the easy way out, I guess. I’m an Erika. Had I been a boy, I’d have been an Erik. I’ve often wondered what about the “a” makes my name sound more feminine (especially now with that Dell/Della thing) but I guess all names are ultimately arbitrary, right?
Woah, Shirley wasn’t always a girl’s name? And Hilary? My mind is officially blown you guys. I had no idea.
As someone with an unusual name, I always wished for something more common and more clearly feminine–I think I had this idea that girls’ names needed to end in a vowel to be real girls names, which is probably why I hankered to be called Christina or Jessica… Now I don’t mind my name so much, but I still think I would give my child a name that people will know and be able to pronounce–and yes, I think I’d want the gender to be clear too, just based on my personal experience. My favourite name right now, for what it is worth, is Judith pronounced the German way, with a Y sound at the beginning and a soft T at the end, but I think that would cause problems in English speaking countries. Also, I don’t like Judy–what is a girl to do?
@sarah.of.a.lesser.god:
Yeah, I get the impression that Hebrew names seem to often be difficult to tell with, gender wise, if you aren’t familiar with them. I knew a girl from Israel called Michal who ALWAYS got correspondence addressed to Mr. Michael X.
@Elle: I have a brand new baby girl cousin named Elliott! It’s actually my brother’s name as well. I think it’s a beautiful name for girls or boys.
I grew up in the South, where there is a tradition of giving girls a very feminine, traditional first name (Elizabeth, Sarah, etc.) and an androgynous family surname as their middle name, which they are called by. So I have always been called by my middle name, Chandler (I’ve now totally compromised my internet anonymity, huh?), as did most of my classmates. It’s not a new tradition- I know many older women with similar names. I’ve always loved my name- despite being used for a character on Friends (ugh) it’s still not a popular name, and I like having a name that’s gender neutral.
I’m not a fan of the whole last name as first name thing, either. I generally prefer the old-fashionned or foreign names. But it always cracks me up how people pick out “unusual” names for their kids, only to realize that everyone else picked the same name.
My best friend named her son Kadin when he was born two years ago. yep. He’s going to have a lot of compatriots with similar names one he hits elementary school.
I have long wished for a less common, less obviously female name, but apparently my folks lacked imagination. The only good thing about my name is that it is easily mutate-able.
Still, I would have preferred Avery (my favorite name since I first read Charlotte’s Web) or my mother’s maiden name, both of which are now among the top 100 for girls. That’s why I go by “Dork.”
NellMood– Sarah (Mother’s Maiden Name) (Last Name) here! No one ever called me by my middle (mother’s maiden) name though!
@Elle. I, too, have a unisex name (that will not be revealed here for the purposes of internet identity) though most people assume I am male. I’ve had people refer to me in emails who have not met me or spoken to me assume I was male and use he and him to refer to me.
Interestingly, my parents specifically gave me a unisex name because they didn’t want me to be discriminated against. I know that at my current employer they assumed I was male until I walked in the door for my job interview. Of course I don’t assume that has anything to do with why I did or didn’t get the job but I’ve always found it fascinating that my parents thought that far ahead.
@PhDork: you wanted a less common, less feminine name, I wanted a more common and feminine name–guess the grass really is always greener!
On girl name trendiness: my mother came of age in the 50s, when Cathys, Pattys, Susies and Carols abounded (and she’s a Billie). She told me once that she and her friends “felt so sorry” for the rare girl named Hannah, or Rachel, or Sarah. That always tickles me.
I wonder if the trend merry-go-round will come around again to names like Ethel, Erma, or Agnes. My guess is there aren’t many of those on the playground these days.
One thing we did to try to avoid having a really popular/trendy name was to look through the old census lists for names that just aren’t in use anymore. But that can backfire too. I have a friend who chose Ava from the old census lists 7 years ago when nobody was using it, and now there are three new babies at their daycare named Ava. Looks like the new Emma.
I can’t tell you how happy I am that people are actually talking about this stuff! I always feel like it’s such a bizarre passion to have.
My mother was truly shocked at how popular Sarah was after giving that name to me. A big “problem” is that parents pick names that were uncommon in their own generation. My nephew is named Ethan and my sister is in disbelief at how rampant that name is in preschools.
As for super-old fashioned names, there may not be a lot of little girls named Agnes, but Matilda and Violet are staging low-key comebacks, no doubt helped by celebrity kids like Violet Affleck and Matilda Ledger. (No mass epidemic of girls named Suri as of yet.)
@ShinyObjects: You never know– Agnes could be the next big thing. When I was born my parents didn’t know of anyone else with my first name- it was considered old-fashioned, ugly, and weird. It’s last big peak was around 1890. Now it’s in the top three names.
the key is to move to another country. My daughter’s name is irritatingly popular in the UK having been nowhere for the past ten years but isn’t even top 200 in the US.
I will definitely say that I’m happy that I ended up named Sarah, and not the name my dad actively lobbied for: Zeta Moon. He also tried to name my sister (who also ended up with a very common name) Roxanne. He now has two dogs named Roxanne and Zada.
And you’re not the only baby name nerd SOALG– I enjoy the lists, love this site: http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html, and frequently discuss baby names on car trips with my husband. We’re currently obsessed with the name “Asher.”
Best name I’ve seen recently? Ballet company director named Benoit-Swan!
I have a common Irish name, but live in the UK, and have often had people assume I was male (despite it ending in a vowel). When I was younger I would include a Ms. or add my middle name to make it obvious I was a girl, but now I prefer the gender neutral quality.
My best friend is intent on having three boys named Lesley, Beverly and Hilary, to reclaim the names as masculine. I am not entirely sure of the reasons behind this obsession!
My name means “light” and is entirely pagan/greek/roman in origin. When I quit being a Catholic I was glad that my name is so pagan.
It’s funny how many people love to talk about name meanings.
@Lauren My friend Kelly is getting married to Jen next month in Chicago. He’s officially the nicest guy on the planet. He has a certificate.
I have the sudden urge to listen to Johnny Cash sing A Boy Named Sue
Tersa, me too – Johnny Cash was my father’s hero – we used to play that instead of christmas carols at our house.
Great, like I’m not worried enough about which surname to give future child/ren. I didn’t even think about the gender implications of first names.
Where did the name Jaden come from? I thought Britney Spears made it up while sipping on some purple drank.
I know a male Kim, a couple guys named Kelly, and I even have a female friend named Agnes!
At his father’s insistence, we named our son Owen, despite my warnings that it was getting pretty popular. His father refused to believe me, and now gets upset every time he meets or hears about another little boy with “his” son’s name. *sigh* I tried.
I have a lovely that translates directly from Latin, which I think is cool since I spent 5 years taking Latin language classes. But only my father and brother are ever allowed to shorten it to Mandy… I’m not sure why but I’ve always had an aversion to the short form.
Tersa you beat me to it!!!!!!
I love old names, I’d like an Alice and a Henry. I was saddened in recient years the Parker got popular as I had always intended on using it (it’s my grandpa’s name)
my goddaughter’s name is Leila, she’s named after her great grandmother. Mostly, her great grandma’s name was Leilavenita. Crazy name, pretty though.
I like the idea of using a name from family history, but my great grandma’s name was Hedwig. . . .
@AuntieEm: Family history is big for me when it comes to names. I ultimately settled on Samuel because I would have been named that if I were a boy, so it was a kind of tribute to father.of.a.lesser.god (who wanted that name for his hypothetical son) — since I wasn’t about to use my Dad’s name, which is Gerald. Similarly, I love Julia/Juliana/Juliet because my mother’s name is Julie.
@AuntieEm I have a friend who’s wife is named Hedwig, the first time he told me her name my response was “like harry potter’s Owl?” cause i’d never heard the name before. And that didn’t go over too well.
@AuntieEm, Tersa:
Hedwig is very funny and old-fashioned, but I have to admit, I think the nickname for it, Hedda, is cute. Wouldn’t name my child it though…besides, the Hedda Gabler implications aren’t great.
Although my name’s really feminine (it actually means “ladylike”), I have always wished for a “common” name like Emily or Sarah or Ann.
Guess I’ll have to wait for daughters…
@AuntiEm, Tersa, Endora – the trouble for me is that it always makes me think of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. The shortened form could be Hedy though which reminds me of Hedy Lamarr, who is something of a heroine of mine.
@ Spark,
I have a male cousin named Jade, whose parents were total hippies and also very good at picking out names. His siblings also have really unique and gender-neutral names. But I was kind of suprised at the naming-girls-Jaden epidemic that’s broken out. There’s a girl named Jayden in my daughter’s room at daycare.
Rachel-in-Wy – oh interesting I always think of Jade as a girl’s name because it’s in the top ten most popular girl’s names in the UK and has been since the 1970s (see Jade Jagger etc).