Comments on: Nine Simple Ways to Scare Your Date

By: greening

greening — Sat, 30 May 2009 23:23:19 +0000

@AuntieEm: POA? I am guessing that is not a Pony of the Americas. (Although somehow that mental image really works for me. "I used to be a small, rugged horse... but I got better!")

By: kithkin

kithkin — Sat, 30 May 2009 18:34:02 +0000

This sort of thing is extremely creepy, and although on its face it is almost grossly heteronormative, the real psychosexual release happens (at least for male POAs, but probably for women who follow this advice, too) in an all-one-gender setting, when you gossip with dudes or ladies about that hot girl/guy you picked up.

Fraught as that is, it’s not wicked like the predatory nature and disingenuousness of the whole exercise, though. When we teach women that they must dissemble in order to achieve whatever goal (sex, a boyfriend, which of course are the two most important things ever) we are teaching women that they are somehow undeserving. Mystery wants you to feign confidence while undermining that same confidence by providing these “tips” in the first place. As usual, women are less than and undeserving etc. etc.

IBTP.

By: Helen

Helen — Sat, 30 May 2009 13:43:01 +0000

Great post. And I would totally call a three-legged cat Tripod. Or maybe Triffid. I think Tripod if it had short hair, and Triffid if it had long hair. Triffid just sounds fluffier.

By: Miss Pinot

Miss Pinot — Sat, 30 May 2009 12:43:02 +0000

To the tall ladies here: Please please please enjoy your height, as it makes me insanely jealous to be able to sneer down at someone from a queenly height!! I am the shortest of my generation, so I always got sneered down upon, and always cheer when my tall friends wear heels. Height/gender expectations/flirting rules??

Fuck ‘em all and be yourself!

The triangle thing is scary!! It always makes people feel as though they have something on their face! These ‘rules’ seem pretty idiotic, and probably only work on guys who have made “The Game” their bible.

By: tallgirl-in-heels

tallgirl-in-heels — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:08:53 +0000

@Mireille, I was thinking the same thing. The only way I could look up at most guys is if I got down on my knees – and that would definitely be sending the wrong message!

Also, WTF re #9? “Make it about you, not about him. ‘If it seems like you’re trying too hard, whatever you’re doing will come across as desperate…’”

Make it about you even though it’s really all about getting him. Oh, the dissonance of it all!

By: AuntieEm

AuntieEm — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:52:55 +0000

Mireille – hello from another freaky tall babe (6’2″)

By: Friday Blogaround « The Gender Blender Blog

Friday Blogaround « The Gender Blender Blog — Fri, 29 May 2009 14:40:31 +0000

[...] Nine Simple Ways to Scare Your Date by Sarah.of.a.lesser.god: There are several advantages to being a content singleton, one of which is not having to deal with first dates and the thorny path known as flirtation. But I finally decided to just learn to flirt, and decided to take some cues from Marie-Claire’s nine steps to flirting like a pro, provided by a guy named Neil Strauss (he likes to be considered the world’s greatest pick-up artist). I got some amazing results and learned some valuable lessons! [...]

By: Mireille

Mireille — Fri, 29 May 2009 03:03:28 +0000

Um, I’m 6’3, if I stuck my chest out with my chin down and looked out the top of my eyes I probably wouldn’t be able to see the guy. I’d rather have my chin up and look down at him, scoffingly. Maybe with a little sneer.

By: FRB

FRB — Fri, 29 May 2009 00:31:29 +0000

@bella: lovely is right.

there are men – excuse me, people – out there who are deeper than this, yes? yes.

@mystery: i do like talking to strangers. i think mostly just for the human contact, friendliness, feeling like i live in a community, makes me happy kind of thing.

By: sarah.of.a.lesser.god

sarah.of.a.lesser.god — Thu, 28 May 2009 23:48:40 +0000

@mysterygirl!: If Strauss’ tips were about being confident for the sake of being confident, then I would not have an issue. But it’s basically a random guy telling women how to ACT confident (not necessarily BE confident) for the sake of attracting men. Therein lies my problem.