Otherwise, I'm going with this look. Via Okinawa Soba @ Flickr.
I’m mostly okay with my body. Mostly. I’m a bit disturbed by how things are, erm, shifting, as I’ve gotten older, even though my weight is steady and reasonable. But life is a terminal condition, so I’m learning acceptance.
What I’m not “mostly okay with” is swimwear. Becky has already lodged her complaint against “Woo! Bikini-bod!” talk, but I have a problem with the actual bikinis. And tankinis. And monokinis. And even maillots.
I’ve been shopping lately for a bathing suit. (That was my first mistake.) While I have two bikinis, they are each at least 6-7 years old, and the aforementioned physical shifting makes me a bit self-conscious in them.
I don’t swim much anymore, a couple of days a year at best, so spending money on a suit (especially now that I’m unemployed) would be crazy. I suppose, however, that if I found a suit that made me feel great and look decent, I would drop $70. None of this $120-and-up business. But I haven’t found a suit that made me feel great OR look decent.
This is not for want of trying. I’ve found suits that ride up my ass and suits that won’t support my rack (WTF, SWIMSUIT PEOPLE? NOT EVERYONE IS A B CUP! YOUR FLIMSY “SHELF” BRA IS DOING EXACTLY NOTHING FOR ME!) I’ve found suits that want to flatten my flat-enough tummy (I am not concave, neither do I aspire to be), but only manage to give me a pancake uniboob. I’ve found suits that cover and support the ladies adequately with their redonkulous foam cups, but are three inches too long for my torso. I’ve found suits that highlight the parts of my body I’d rather not highlight, and make the good parts look pretty bad. Suits that ask me to painfully depilate my entire hootenanny, and suits that dig deep red grooves into my shoulders. I’ve tried on smalls and mediums and larges; solids, prints and patterns; discount and designer, and I am over it. Also: NO MORE HALTERS. MY NECK CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING HALTER TOP.
It was something of a revolution when manufacturers and retailers discovered what women have always known: a whole lot of us come in different sizes above and below the waist. “Mix and Match” two-pieces were great (…when they were great). The suits I have are that type, and I did a happy, happy dance when I found them, even though they were halters. Somewhere along the way, they quit making bra-style tops that 1) had adjustable, over-the shoulder-straps, 2) had some support structure to them–seaming or underwire or something, and 3) were intended to be worn by women with significant mammulation.
Alas, they are no more. I have tried on at least 40 swimsuits, and have yet to find one that makes me half as unself-conscious as I do wearing my boring, everyday underwear. (Which is also not as expensive as most of the swimsuits I’ve seen.)
So, I’m tempted to tell the swimsuit people to take a long walk off a short pier in one of their over-priced, poorly constructed, built-for-a-teenaged-mannequin numbers and just wear plain bra and matching knickers when I make it to the beach. What I’m asking you is: are there any downsides to this that I’m not seeing?
Depending on the material that the bra and knickers are made of: Transparency and drooping fabric when it gets wet.
When MamaSharper was at the beach in Nha Trang, she was the only woman there in a swimsuit. The Vietnamese ladies just went into the sea in their cotton tops and drawstring pants. I think there’s some real merit to that idea. If you wanted to wear a regular bra or tank top and panties and they were opaque enough that you felt comfortable, why not?
Ha! I myself have done this on several occasions. Here’s what I’ve found: 1) you want to wear your intended items into the shower for a test-run before hitting the beach/pool/whatev to make sure they don’t get too translucent or saggy when wet, 2) it’s never really going to look like a bathing suit, so be prepared for some people to give you funny looks, and 3) if you’re going into chlorinated water or hot water, it will probably ruin your bra.
I say go for it!
Also, repeated exposure to salt and/or chlorinated water might not be good for regular fabric, but a couple of times probably wouldn’t matter.
Also, have you tried J. Crew?
I have two bathing suits, and both are bikinis. This is not because I am particularly enamored with my stomach, but because as a gal with a really fucked-up boob-to-waist ratio, one-pieces never ever work for me. And halter bikini tops are also imperative for me because otherwise the suit gets confused about how to deal with immense boobage and small back. Oh, the joys of being a goddamned 28C/D
I currently wear my black maternity sports bra and black knickers when swimming every week as i can’t get into anything else and refuse to splash out for a bikini or swimsuit for two to three months, they’ve lasted pretty well so far although yes people do occasionally look at me strangely, I just look at them strangely back.
I long ago gave up on bathing suits and have lazily opted for the lined sports bra/swimming trunks (made of a quick drying fabric) look. It’s not particularly cute, but I’m a lot more comfortable.
Nude Beaches! Well, that’s my preferred style of bathing suit anyway…
What about lingerie/underwear stores that also carry bathing suits? I find that those carry more styles that have tops similar to bras and usually have a nice mix and match section.
La Vie En Rose in Canada comes to mind but I don’t know about a US equivalent.
I too opt for Sports bra and swim shorts. I figure people are gonna make judgments about my figure anyway, so why not give them something else to be judgmental about.
Have you tried experimenting with various isotopes in drinkable form to grow scales and fins? Was no one else sartorially inspired by “Geek Love”?
I know I’ll never find a bikini to fit my breasts so I’ve never bothered looking. I hadn’t had a swimming costume for years but recently came across a perfect vintage (60s I think) one, with excellent boob-support and a low-cut leg which suits my leg shape. It’s comfy and dead foxy and I want more occasions to wear it!
Previously when I’ve been at the beach I’ve worn a plain vest, tight enough to vaguely support my boobs, and short shorts. I don’t think that, or plain underwear, is odd.
I have never, in all my life, worn a bikini, and at the rate I am going likely never will. So that solution is unavailable to me.
I do like square-necked one-piece suits. They make my lumpy, frumpy body look a bit more pinup. I have one I bought for Hawaii a coupla years ago that I got, I kid you not, from Zappos.com, last minute, vowing that if it looked like shit I would just throw a t-shirt over it. And it looked decent.
Soooo… luck of the draw, I guess.
I would actually love a suit like the one in the picture.
I agree with FashionablyEvil. I have a few suits from J. Crew that are cute and have underwire that support my non-negligible top half. They have a wide selection of bottoms, so you can pick one that works for you. Another good thing is that shipping is free and you can return stuff right to the store, so it is low-risk. They are sort of expensive (>$100), but in my experience, they hold up really well.
Seconding the J. Crew recommendation. They have a good mix of styles that provide more coverage or less coverage as you want, they have options that support and flatter my D-cup breasts, and when they go on sale, the prices are quite reasonable.
Also, you can order a ton of options online, try them on at home, and then return what doesn’t work at a store, which I think is pretty convenient.
If you’re going the repurposed underwear route, make sure you get something that dries out quickly.
the best one piece I ever bought was a walmart special.
Have you tried Title 9? http://www.titlenine.com/jump.jsp?itemID=0&itemType=HOME_PAGE
Their suits are for serious swimmers and athletes of (almost) all sizes–I really recommend their suits.
Thank you all for suggestions and support. (ha, support) Will definitely do a test run in the shower, and check out both J. Crew and Title 9.
elenargh: I’ve seen these vintage (or repro) suits online and they are awesome, but I’ve not seen them anywhere I might try one on. Did you luck into it, or is there a magic/secret shop I should seek out?
Amanda & Rachel: These swim shorts you speak of…I am intrigued, as I am susceptible to ride-up. Do I go to men’s departments for these, or do they make ‘em fer girls?
F&B: I am looking into fins, as they would distract people from los ta-tas.
I hate to admit it, but Victoria’s Secret has great swimwear, and lots of mix and match options.. and actually allows you to buy tops in bra sizes (rather than the totally perplexing S-M-L which induces the, well my boobs aren’t large, but technically my bust measurement is, so…??? or vice versa). And they are cheaper than J.Crew (which I also love, I may have a swimsuit addiction).
I have nothing useful to say, because I haven’t purchased a bathing suit for years. My issues are all vanity though — I have yet to find a suit that flatters my small & increasingly-less-perky boobs, and proportionally bigger hips and bum. Anything I try on makes me feel like a deformed and bulbous freak of nature who should be swathed from head to toe in concelaing fabric and not allowed to mingle with the non-blind. (Crappy changeroom lighting and funhouse-like mirrors may be partially to blame.)
Still, I’m glad I don’t have significant boobage to wrangle into a swimsuit. I salute those of you who do.
I think H&M has mix-and-match bikinis, with underwire tops. At least they did last year.
Kari, I considered including a long secondary section on the horror that is dressing room lighting, but my rage-ometer was already pegging.
Also: you’re so cute.
I am seconding Victoria’s Secret. I am particularly partial to the “Retro One Piece”. The dangers of their suits are that your boobs might be up by your chin, but at least they’ll be supported!
I go for VS, too. You can even shop by “full coverage,” and you can order by bra size. They do sell many suits that are skimpy (e.g., halters that tie at back and neck with tiny cups), but you can absolutely by supportive bra tops if you look around the website.
I also have not much to add here, except try J. Crew,Filene’s Basement if there’s one near you, and Victorias Secret has *gasp* actual tops in bra sizes! I, to my mother’s chagrin, do not have a sizable bosom to support!
The best bikini I have ever had was bought last year at Filene’s Basement. I have relatively small breasts, but a relatively larger bottom, so finding a bikini that didn’t scream “looook at those stretch marks!! Loooook at those ridiculous thundery thighs!!” was a problem at my usual shopping haunts. A random trip to the Met and then to Filene’s for an umbrella(it started pouring!) gave me my happily polka dotty gem. Every time I’ve worn it, I feel good in it. It was under $50 too!
For a couple years I was all about the bikini top with trunks (I bought some mix-and-match from Roxy- don’t laugh! They started out as an actual surfwear company, making boards and wetsuits and stuff- their gear is pretty good). Then I bought some crappy random bikini top from Old Navy to go with yoga shorts from Nike as my bottoms. That was a good idea. Great swimmers but hell if I’d ever do yoga in something that small.
This year, now that I have stretch marks, saggy boobs and a pretty gnarly c-section scar, I’ve conceded to the one piece. More specifically, the Miraclesuit. They hold in the boobs hugely, and even though my goal is not to create a flat stomach I don’t have, it does feel good to have a thick, tight layer of fabric all over. Con: stupid price tag.
You could also try some one pieces from actual athletic swimwear makers. Adidas and Speedo make great racing swimmers. Non-flimsy fabric and no inbuilt bra, but it’s tight enough to sort of bind the boobs down.
My suit is a one-piece by Robin Piccone. I think I got it at Everything But Water. It was $100 but I was desperate.
@SarahMC: I have a Robin Piccone bikini too–it’s nice but modest as bikinis go. It was expensive, but I’ve worn it a lot. I think I bought it at Macy’s.
The only bathing suit that ever fit my inordinately long torso on a 5’4 frame, and contained my boobs, and made me look decent was from Lands End. I’ve had L.L. Bean suits that were okay, too.
@PhDork: Found it in a vintage shop in London I’m afraid! Most vintage shops seem to have a few – which is funny, there being lots of swimming costumes that have been hanging around unworn for 40+ years.
Kind of late but I am 5′ 9, 34DD boobs that that fed 3 babies, and I like to actually play at the pool with my kids without falling out. I found a mix of Athleta tops and bottoms–swim skirts that dont look dowdy, board shorts, and bra size underwire tankinis–to be awesome. Pricey but worth it. Found in catalog and online, and now Gap Inc bought them a few months ago.
http://www.athleta.com
eleanargh, I just ordered a 60′s era one piece off etsy with a low cut/”boy-cut” leg and I’m so excited to get it! And, to be away from my books and papers in it, on lake, with my family this coming 4th of July. It reminds me of suits I’d see in old pictures of my mom and her friends. Even though there’s a resurgence of “vintage style” one pieces, they’re still pretty limited and don’t have the same wit.
At 6’1″ and a bursting out of a G cup, I understand the swimsuit woes. What I’ve found works best for me is a short sleeved swim top with a bra underneath and a pair of lined board shorts. Shorts I can get for $20, top for $40.
MY NECK CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING HALTER TOP.
A-FUCKING-MEN!
Fortunately, I know a few ladies who custom make bras, so they are making me some bikinis where the top is just a bra made of swimsuit material. One is a Jezzie!
Canyon Beachwear is an AWESOME resource for swimwear for various body types: http://www.canyonbeachwear.com/
[...] recently shared with us her teeth-gnashing, soul-crushing experience shopping for a decent bathing suit. I felt her pain. I [...]
I recommend Land’s End… They have separate tops and bottoms, petites as well as plus size and long torso choices, and the prices are great. And you can order a bunch, try them on, and return the extras to any Sears store. Though they don’t appear to have a lot of bra-style tops this year – just mostly tankini type tops. Must be the latest style…