Comments on: A Bizarre Take on a Balancing Act

By: Majrhoulihan

Majrhoulihan — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:34:44 +0000

I work with writers–mostly males. Whenever one of them becomes a parent, they fall off the map for a little while and are hard to pin down for information, email responses, edits, etc.

This has nothing to do with being male/female and everything to do with a big, fucking event happening in their personal lives that temporarily puts them out of sorts. I treat them the same way I do when a traumatic event happens: they get time and space to come to terms with their new arrangement.

By: Spark

Spark — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 15:04:26 +0000

There are women who, on having a patriarchy-prescribed experience, immediately describe it as universal. Geeta Sharma-Jensen is welcome to explore and enjoy her maternal dizziness. Please leave the rest of us out of it.

By: BookGeek

BookGeek — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:16:07 +0000

I’m not a writer, but I am a mother. Words can’t describe the rage! Perhaps I speak only for myself (but I think not) when I say that after having a kid, I became more successful in my professional life. I attribute this solely to the point I was at in my career. Nothing to do with motherhood except, possibly, I have to be more on my toes because parenting is a major scheduling nightmare.

By: sarah.of.a.lesser.god

sarah.of.a.lesser.god — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:30:06 +0000

@blue_streak: Tolkien was famously adamant about how Rings was not any kind of allegory, once saying, “I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence.” He made a point about the divergence between allegory and applicability, and I think Geeta Sharma-Jensen could stand to learn that lesson.

@PhDork: Maybe sum.of.the.spare.parts.of.a.uterus.of.a.lesser.god?

@Jemima4 @Magda @ShinyObjects: Thank y’all for the reading suggestions! The Mommy (and Daddy) Wars continue.

By: PhDork

PhDork — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 03:12:07 +0000

s.o.a.l.g, are you saying that you weren’t going to change your screen name to babymama.of.a.lesser.god?

By: jemima4

jemima4 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 23:50:29 +0000

There’s an absolutely beautiful book on this subject called “The Divided Heart: Art and Motherhood” by an Australian author Rachel Power. She interviews artists who are mothers and talks about the way these women are redefining what it is to be an artist.

The traditional view of an artist is that of the solitary man locked away in his room for hours on end. Of course, this is ignoring the fact that for this man to live there is usually a wife, or a sister, or a maid who has dedicated her life to supporting him.

The women she interviews are forging new ground. Some might argue too that growing a baby inside you is one of nature’s ultimate ‘artistic’ acts!

By: ShinyObjects

ShinyObjects — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:36:11 +0000

FWIW, this Salon piece from yesterday does in fact address a "dude's" perspective on how parenting changed him. Still processing what I think about it - horrid title aside, there are some interesting points. And other points that make me gnash my teeth.

By: annimal

annimal — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:14:01 +0000

yeah, i hate this kind of thinking, whether it comes from men or from women who spout the “you’re not a real woman/you can’t understand the meaning of life until you have kids” line.

By: Magda

Magda — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:06:35 +0000

This particular debate is raging on Susan Orlean’s Twitter at the moment.

http://twitter.com/susanorlean

By: sarah.of.a.lesser.god

sarah.of.a.lesser.god — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 18:28:27 +0000

@Kari: Oh, you are totally allowed to have an opinion about it. My stance on this kind of article didn’t change when I got pregnant, because I always thought this stuff reeked of idiocy. A woman is more than the sum of her reproductive parts, whether she’s a writer or a lawyer or even a stay-at-home mom. And to assume every mother who’s a writer deals with it the same way is blatantly offensive.

@emilyanne: I was hoping you’d weigh in on this! Like you, I didn’t start writing books of lullabies once I learned I was pregnant. You can write what you know, but that doesn’t have to be all you write about. Oy.