Comments on: Retro Pleasures: Cooking

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 01:40:37 +0000

ahimsa said: “I’m 48 and no one that I hang out with sees cooking as a feminist issue other than as part of the much larger issue of the “second shift” that is placed on women.”

I think the “second shift” is exactly the point here. Lots of women who deliberately choose not to learn to cook aren’t just doing it because they hate all stereotypically feminine things. They’re probably being quite rational and trying to avoid getting stuck with the expectation that they will always be the ones to do the cooking (and associated cleaning, grocery shopping, meal planning, etc.).

I happen to really enjoy cooking with my boyfriend, and sometimes our schedules work out so that I’m cooking dinner for him since he’s working late. I enjoy it. But it is work, it takes time, and I can definitely understand why some people would choose to sidestep that role.

By: Rachel S

Rachel S — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:42:48 +0000

On this issue, I am the worst feminist in the herstory of ever. Every kitchen I enter becomes MY kitchen. I can remember completely taking over at dinner parties my college friends would have — mostly because someone would have an idea, the ingredients, but neither the skills nor patience to pull it off. I became the chef of our group and everyone was happy, myself included, because labor often meant I didn’t have to throw down for ingredients or beer.

Now that I’m all grown up, food is one of the things that my bf and I can really count on in our relationship. Things have been tough between us recently, but despite whatever’s going on, he knows I’ve always got some delicious meal up my figurative sleeve. He says that we might as well call the kitchen my “other studio” because I create works of art there too. I don’t know what it is about food, but a good meal helps to maintain stability, and for me, cooking that meal means I have created stability. This mindset is especially helpful for me because when I was growing up, food was used by my father and step-mother to control me (and so I took control of myself by refusing food and restricting my diet to kosher foods, then vegetarianism, but that came after I began to overcome some of the meal-skipping etc).

I just love cooking. Even if I don’t have that much time I can throw something together and provide myself and my mate a little love and tenderness, even if we are mad at each other.

By: ahimsa

ahimsa — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:06:56 +0000

I had read somewhere quote from a 70’s “career woman”, no citation sorry, who said that the best thing she did for her career was NOT learning how to type …

A bit of a derail from the topic but touch typing was one of the few skills from high school that I used daily in my career (as a software engineer). It’s funny to see typing used as a negative example – it’s not just for “secretaries,” LOL!

Getting back to the topic, I thought all the male/female baggage surrounding cooking would be gone by now. It’s strange to see reports that people view cooking as anti-feminist. I’m 48 and no one that I hang out with sees cooking as a feminist issue other than as part of the much larger issue of the “second shift” that is placed on women (e.g., when both sides of a hetero couple work outside the home the woman does do more housework). So why the haters? Among my friends the ones who like to cook are distributed pretty randomly between men and women, singles and couples, etc.

Oh, one last point – my father was the one who was the better cook when I was growing up (homemade waffles – YUMM!).

By: elibard

elibard — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:49:04 +0000

@MischiefManager – We also usually eat dinner at the table with no TV (sometimes music if we’re played out and too tired to talk much), our baby in his highchair at the table with us. Our doctor, usually very laissez faire, was insistent that as soon as baby could sit in the highchair, he should eat meals with us at the table (his wife is the town’s pediatric nutritionist, and I trust them both). That made perfect sense to us. How else do kids learn manners and discussion than by being part of it, even long before they can talk?
However, once in a while we will all sit in front of the TV together and eat. But given the attention span of an 11-month-old, that usually doesn’t last long. Unless there are muppets.
Before we had the baby, though, we would spend more meals chilling out in front of the TV. But we talk all the time, so it’s not like we lack for discussion.

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:15:43 +0000

MischiefManager – i have all my dinners and lunches at weekends without machinery. I grew up in a house where the TV was for after dinner if at all and where we all spent the entire time arguing about, er I mean discussing, the events of the day, what books we were reading, films were worth watching etc and whether or not Tottenham Hotspur were a useless soccer team. We were all expected to weigh in and do subsequently have a tendency to shout across each other at family get-togethers but i like it, the idea of tv meals etc or even the radio on was simply not allowed. Breakfast is the one exception as it is a time for reading newspapers so that we can bone up enough facts to pretend we know what we’re talking about at the evening freeforall.

By: Lyndsay

Lyndsay — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:06:13 +0000

Somehow it happened that I am the one who finds recipes, makes sure we buy certain needed foods, chops most of the vegetables and keeps track of what’s next in the recipe while my partner is the one who’s at the stove actually cooking stuff. It works. Once in a while I want to make sure I’m competent in the kitchen so I cook a recipe myself. I love recipes because I hate cooking if the food’s going to be boring and not that great and I am not that creative in the kitchen. I don’t have the cooking instinct some people seem to have. Also, I grew up eating too many suppers of potatoes, a meat, and frozen vegetables so while my mom has taught me the basics, I’m teaching myself a lot.
I definitely want to teach my kids all I know so they don’t move out not knowing how to make a good supper.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 02:21:06 +0000

Great thread, everyone!

Can I go back to Baraqiel’s comment about sitting down to dinner without machinery? How many of you harpies who live with someone else in an intimate relationship do that? (That is, not all roommates would count here.) If not, why not?

This is something I was and am adamant about. When our kids were growing up, we had the news on during dinner and we would discuss it-until King George was “elected”. Then I was too angry to deal with it at dinner. But it was always a priority for me to have a time when everyone got to tell about their day. Sure, sometimes one or another of us needed more attention, but usually everyone said something. We would have missed so much good talk, laughter and important information if we hadn’t done that.

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 01:45:09 +0000

Bellacoker, the odd thing about my shorthand is its strictly speaking the wrong sort. All UK journalists (until recently about the last five-six years) had to pass t-line shorthand in order to work in newspapers but i did my training in the US where nowhere cared about shorthand – however because of the secretarial course I did pitman shorthand, which is the traditional secretarial shorthand. It caused great confusion in my first UK newspaper job where people kept going that’s not shorthand because the two styles are so different.

By: bellacoker

bellacoker — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:13:39 +0000

I am a huge touch-typing fan, in fact there is a fun and free typing test site: http://www.typeonline.co.uk/typingspeed.php That uses paragraphs from the classics.

So much fun! I do find touch typing to be a handicap for smart phones, though. I generally remember my passwords through muscle memory so consistently forget which letters are letters and which are symbols, numbers, misspelled, etc.

emilyanne: I am so jealous of your shorthand! I’ve always wanted to learn, that and the phonetic alphabet . . .

By: PhDork

PhDork — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:50:48 +0000

I took typing, too. On a typewriter. 10th grade, maybe? “Ay Ess Dee Eff Jay Kay Ell Sem.” I wonder if typing is still taught in the States, since computing/keyboards are so prevalent. And I don’t know anyone who doesn’t touch-type. Maybe that’s a function of my academic environment, though. I’m fast, but bad for typos.

However, I am a pretty good cook. Not a fancy cook, not a go-up-to-Arthur-Avenue-to-get-fresh-mozzerella cook, but a good flavor fidgeter, adept at dependable, tasty vegetarian stuff and one-dish meals that you can stretch (thanks to years as a poor student), and a few dynamite-but-labor-intensive dishes for holidays and special occasions. And I’m an excellent baker. To me, fresh bread is possibly the best thing in the entire world, so I learned how to make that early, maybe around 6th grade or so. I like both cooking and baking, but in all cases, having to do either all the time kills the joy. But not the tastiness.