Comments on: Audiences Aren’t the Only Answer

By: aspiringexpatriate

aspiringexpatriate — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:53:32 +0000

As a side note: Screw decorum. Be deliberately indecorous in your life; don’t follow rules just because they’re there. Follow them because they’re right. That’ll keep you going.

Hallelujah! You keep singing it on high!

By: tallgirl-in-heels

tallgirl-in-heels — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:04:11 +0000

“Consciousness-raising was never about reiterating our circumstances; it was learning how to rise above them.”

Bingo. I don’t mind confessionals that provide me with some insight into how certain social constructs, stereotypes, or misconceptions play out, and how to overcome them. And I also think the “I am not alone” factor is worth something. But the stories that set forth in intimate detail the hell of being stuck in a circular pattern of self-destruction and self-loathing, but say nothing about breaking the cycle, those just leave me feeling depressed and they ultimately perpetuate the cycles they describe. I’ve never read Elizabeth Wurtzel’s books because I suspect they fall in the later category. Maybe it’s a selfish thing, but it does me no damn good to relate to you if ultimately your story will just make me feel even more shitty and stuck.

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:39:38 +0000

KithKin, they are indeed. In fairness it’s not so much made up as exaggerated with the odd embellishment. hmm that sounds like made-up really. But as I said the Guardian’s just as bad – some of the most self-loathing pieces have run on their site.

By: kithkin

kithkin — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:36:23 +0000

emilyanne: and you said you suspect they make these up? I wonder if I could get a bonus if I add two full paragraphs on my newfound obsession with chocolate. And Lifetime television. Later, I could write a follow up piece after my “baby” is “born” on how I just don’t feel close to her and actually am quite repulsed by her. And then I’ll have a fake affair.

These are newspapers made of reality television.

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:08:41 +0000

kithkin – add a nought to your numbers and that’s what you’d make. Seriously there’s a reason why these women are prepared to self-flagellate in the Daily Mail.

By: kithkin

kithkin — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:55:44 +0000

Another thing about Bad Mommy (and Bad Wife) narratives: They never, ever, ever say or even really suggest that it’s okay to be “Bad.” They just say “I’m this way,” perhaps in hopes that readers will think, “oh good, I’m this way, too, I’m not alone.” The desired reaction is not to denounce the entire construct of motherhood as fucked up and repressive and damaging(see: SarahMC), it is to publicly self-flagellate.

I fully agree that these pieces exist because editors want to feed into the narrative of women as obsessed with (a) marriage (b) babies and/or (c) food. Best if you can hit all three: “I got married because I was pregnant, and then I worried that I was becoming one of Those Women who gains weight after getting married!”

Hey, I could make a hundred dollars if I call the Daily Mail and pitch this piece! Maybe $150 if I include a picture of my breasts.

By: annimal

annimal — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:02:48 +0000

I struggled with this myself when I started my blog. When I’m in a certain frame of mind, I’m a fan of reading overshares, but after thinking about for a while I realized that I didn’t want to put the highly personal ones on my blog.

By: Margaret

Margaret — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:38:23 +0000

Ive been puzzled by ‘oversharing’ myself, in that from my generation these were things you told your best friend, not a troop of blog posters. I don’t get ‘epic fail’ either though, to me epic fail is what caused the recession, not some personal thing! I’m not with the times, my fault (my bad, is that old hat now?) I know some bloggers who micro-blog (overshare), and I’d swear at times they begin looking for controversy in their lives just so they can write about it! Talk about the tail wagging the dog.

By: Navel Gazing « California Poppy

Navel Gazing « California Poppy — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:00:36 +0000

[...] today I think I figured out why. The Pursuit of Harpyness had a post today about this article in the Guardian (how I love the Guardian) detailing our cultures recent [...]

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:49:28 +0000

SarahMC – exactly, that’s what is so wrong about it.

Spark, re the men doing it – agreed and Michael Lewis’s recent stuff is particularly odd. Rebecca Walker’s piece made me very uncomfortable, i agree there should be a way for this be written about but i’m just not really sure how. I suppose I am more inclined towards interviews with women about how they feel – because at least in those the journalist can generally change the names and state that in the article, part of me is squeamish about the idea of making money out of writing about yourself.