At least I'm not the only one with a penchant for pointless endeavors. via keso @ flickr
Keep Googling, you misguided souls! Perchance you will grace us with more mind-boggling, occasionally puke-tastic gems like these!
strained condition fuck mature daddy — Ever feel like some of these search terms are the result of a drunken game of Scrabble?
clarence thomas fucked up — Yes, yes, 100 times yes.
President Gerald Fnord — Sometimes the simplest typos are enough to make you giggle for 5 minutes.
penis is serious business — O RLY?
What do you think there is about females that allow them to civilize their male counterparts? — Tasers.
Scottish kilt penis porn — How do you see the penis if the kilt is still on?
when i fucked a giantess — Please go on. No, seriously. I want to hear this story!
harpie apparel — Some of us are partial to flip-flops, and jeans and tee-shirts make for a good blogging uniform.
how a person fuck a woman to give birth his baby — His baby? How about it being their baby. Also, ew.
what does responsibility feel like — Taking on the task of doing the right thing, like this or this.
how to swear in elizabethan — If thou art changed to aught, tis to an ass! (Thank you, A Comedy of Errors)
military men fuckin there women HARD!!!!! — You get a very dishonorable discharge for the trifecta of misspellings, confusion of their/there, and the gratuitous exclamation points.
vagina smells like blood, or metal no period — And vampire vaginas REALLY smell like blood.
ways to scare 2 girls — Don’t expect us to give you pointers on that. Although just typing that into Google is a good way to freak us out.
funny women are attractive — We agree!
XXX porn channels using up mankind’s energy — So when the aliens land, they’ll find nothing but shriveled humanoids who died while wanking to Debbie Does Dallas? Sounds a bit fatalistic, even if I’m not into XXX porn channels.
why is it men won’t get a vasectomy but think pregnancy & childbirth are no big deal — We’re still trying to figure that one out.
How to make pee on gmail — We wish we knew how to do that.
Sexy male protagonist first names — Personally, I’m a fan of the name Aragorn.
vomit via fuck — You’re doing something wrong if that’s the end result. Also: yuck.
childless feminist insane — No, that’s not how it goes.
it bothers me my husband sees other womens bits in maternity ward — Wait, what? That should bother you!
big dick makes orgasm — actually, no.
“it bothers me my husband sees other womens bits in maternity ward — Wait, what? That should bother you!”
Unless the husband is an OB-GYN? And by “maternity ward”, she means delivery rooms and so forth? In which case, you’re shit out of luck, lady.
Yeah I’m thinking that woman’s husband is a doctor.
The way some people use Google never fails to amaze me.
I suppose I object most to calling it “other women’s bits”. Really, can’t you type ‘vagina’ or ‘genitals’ into Google? You won’t be hit by lightning.
“Bits” is about the least objectionable word for vagina that turns up in the search terms.
And yeah, if you marry an ob-gyn, it’s a given that he’ll be seeing a lot of vaginas besides yours. Although why she feels threatened by that is beyond me. Seeing vaginas in a clinical setting is hardly arousing.
@Becky: Yeah, I just hate the use of euphemisms. Clinical terms are perfectly acceptable!
I think the Doctor’s wife is using Google like people used to read entrails, as a tool for divining. Just type in what bothers you and the aggragating computer-gods will spit out a solution . . .
Actually, the fnord thing probably wasn’t a typo. From Urban Dictionary:
A fnord is a propaganda word conditioned in the masses from a very young age to respond to, usually with fear, anxiety, or uneasiness, but unable to be seen by the general populace. (This definition originates in the Illuminatus trilogy of books by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson.)
It’s used a lot by Discordians, often for the hell of it, or as part of Operation Mindfuck.
http://principiadiscordia.com
For more info.
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