Dear dudes:
On Friday night I happened to walk by a poster for Zooey Deschanel’s newest movie, 500 Days of Summer, and my eyes did a 360 degree roll in my head. It’s about the transience of modern love! Her character’s name is Summer, get it?!?!
My mind immediately filled with a vision of roughly a hundred boys/men I have known who have confessed their “secret” devotion to Zooey. They were lined up outside their nearest independently-run theatre, the floor grimy enough to indicate the extreme dedication to the craft of filmmaking, and staring up adoringly at a too-close screen to capture a moment of Zooey’s undeniable quirky wonderfulness.
It makes me want to throw up.
Now, my issue is not really with Ms. Deschanel herself. I like the She & Him album. A lot. I listen to it at least once a week, particularly when it’s sunny and I am in the presence of trees and I am wearing a pretty skirt, because it seems designed to be the soundtrack for that kind of soft-focus, indie hipster existence to which I occasionally aspire. (I am much too graceless to achieve it, but a girl can dream.)
No, my issue isn’t with Zooey herself. It’s with you guys. My issue is that I know you will tell me this is a “great” movie. I know that when I point out that Zooey always plays some version of “Summer,” and trust me, I don’t even have to see the movie to know who that character is, you will sort of agree and say, “But it’s a good character.” Then your eyes will dreamily wander over my shoulder as you dream of the inevitable encounter.
This is made all the more offensive, dudes, by the fact that I know you consider yourselves a cut above your average frat boy. No silicone for you dudes, no bottle blondes or string bikinis, but you like what you often refer to as “quirk.” By “quirk” you appear to mean that you’d like a girl not to act passively, to have a little personality, as they say. But what you’d like as much as that is for it to be an act, because fundamentally, quirk doesn’t threaten you. It doesn’t demand that you be anything different than what you are. It makes for cute outfits and the occasional crazy eye makeup, sure, but none of these require that you treat a woman like anything more than an empty vessel.
Because that’s what “Zooey Deschanel, indie princess” really is, you know. An empty vessel. She’s the girl that all the hipster guys of the universe have poured their dreams into. She’s not really a person so much as a cipher that you dudes worship, in the same, boring, empty way that men worship the much more “conventional” hotties.
So the next time you’re updating that Nerve.com profile and citing Zooey as your dream girl, keep in mind that you aren’t fooling us. We know what you want, and we know that no woman on earth is actually that unchallenging. Enjoy singledom.
Kisses,
PilgrimSoul













well said. i haven’t seen the movie myself but i also have a very conflicted relationship with zooey, her fans and the (inaccurate) claim that she is a great actress. i would not struggle with this if she showed some goddamn range and actually played something other than the pretty, safely weird girl in a movie. i would love to see her play an uptight executive or a cut throat law student or something. but that would require her to actually ACT and may actually make her briefly unlikeable. and we wouldnt want that now would we.
On the other hand, Dude, if you have a crush on Emily Deschanel’s character, I would like to get to know you better.
While I agree with this post generally, I would like to point out Winter Passing. She does not play a safe uncomplicated character in that movie – she is a deeply unhappy drug-addicted kitten killer on the face of it.
The truth of the matter is… that I had to look up on IMDB to find any movie she’s been in. Her looks are, well, she’s beautiful. But I can’t for the life of me say I’ve enjoyed ANY of her movies, and it’s not as if I haven’t seen them.
Her sister on the other hand… well, she makes me swoon. Ah Bones.
So I wasn’t really sure what movies she was in, all i could remember was Elf, which i liked but more because of Will Ferell and the guy who played his dad. The mom was good too because she didn’t get pushed around and her career was just as important as her husband’s. but back to the subject IMDB says she was in the assassination of Jesse James, I’d guess that movie would ask for a little range, but there were only 3 women in the whole damn thing and I’m not sure which one she was.. was she Robert Ford’s girlfriend at the end? If so then i think you have completely summed up her career as the “safe wierd girl”.
Sarah Silverman was quoted in the Guardian as saying that when men admit to fancying her what they’re really doing is paying themselves a compliment i.e. they’re the more dicerning, less superficial type.
The idolizing of the quirky girl grates on me–Zoe and her ilk seem so intentionally precious and affected–but overall it fails to ignite my howling feminist rage the way the worship cute-but-dumb girls does (Jessica Simpson, Kendra, Paris, Daisy, LC, Heidi, etc).
If dudes pick Zoe and her ilk over the dumb blondes, well, that’s the lesser of the two evils, IMO. The real problem is that our media/film culture doesn’t offer them anything better or more realistic.
Same thing to me, maybe. She’s still tortured in an insufferably indie, “I’m a tortured artist” sort of way.
God I hate Adam Rapp, but that’s a story for another time.
A-fucking-men.
The only movie I can really stand her in is “All the Real Girls,” a fabulous little film that was released before she cultivated her image as an indie goddess. Everything else, she’s just another Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Not progressive, dudes.
Ooh, a beautiful skinny brunette… how edgy!
But seriously, I cannot wait to see this movie for another beautiful skinny brunette, one Mr. Joseph Gordon Levitt.
I can’t stand her monotone, too-cool-for-school voice. Co-sign on everything you said.
I have no opinion on Zooey Deschanel myself, but there’s a whole school of thought on this type of stock character. See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl
Ah, the manic pixie dream girl archetype again. Skinny, conventionally pretty, brunette rather than blonde…yeah dudes, you’re really edgy.
I’m old and out of touch, so I had no idea who Zooey Deschanel was until last week, when I read a movie review in Slate written by an obviously smitten dude who claimed she should be “America’s sweetheart if America had any sense” uh, hello?!?!
Oh, wow, this makes me feel better. My current boyfriend has “admitted” that he “quite likes” Zooey Deschanel, and I’ve found myself rolling my eyes. I’m so glad I’m not the only one.
These “sensitive, indie” dudes getting moony over the Manic Pixie Dreamgirl type is their equivalent of ogling a silicone-enhaced blonde. Only they get to congratulate themselves on how edgy they are, and tell themselves (and me, repeatedly) that they’re better than their fratboy brethren.
He’s been bugging me to see this movie with me, but honestly? I am afraid it will make me feel bad about myself. I mean, the MPDG is just another standard that most real-life women are not going live up to.
These are the same guys dissing on Michael Cera because he plays the same character in every single movie.
@sarahmc: I totally agree about her voice! I find it sooooo distracting to whatever role she’s attempting.
@annimal Dana Stevens on slate is a female.
@annimal … not that I don’t find all these movies unbearably boring
“God I hate Adam Rapp, but that’s a story for another time.”
That’s a story I’d like to hear!
@rodriguez: didn’t even realize that the Slate article was written by a woman since it reminded me so much of all the dudes I know who like the MPDG;-)
I’ve seen three of her films: Elf, Failure To Launch (quite possibly the worst film ever), and Winter Passing. She didn’t really do the too-cool/cute-for-school thing in the last one, so at least I could deal with that. But my issue is more with the screenwriters who seem to think that kookiness = character, and there doesn’t need to be any real depth to a female character if she’s just cute and quirky enough.
I can’t give the guys too hard a time as I can barely defend my own crushes. I agree with SOALG that it’s the scripts that are the problem.
Maybe this is my Marxist background speaking, but it often seems to me like the MPDG type is also hopelessly saturated with privilege. I mean, you have to have a certain degree of freedom from responsibility and real world obligations to be the flighty/whimsical/kooky/totally spontaneous/quirky/whatever character, right?
As an undergrad I had friends who imagined themselves as being this character, and lived it out. And every single one of them had all their bills paid by their parents, and could not get their heads around the fact that some of us had to pay our own rent and car insurance, and were therefore not free to flit off to the beach or to Disneyland to drop acid and ride the “It’s a small world” ride over and over again or head out to the desert for naked rock climbing at the drop of a hat. Of course, this may have been exacerbated by the fact that I went to Pepperdine, where most of the students were filthy rich and the rest of us were overworked scholarship students…
Yeah, dead on, PS. I’ve never understood the “underground” movement of adoration for her. I would far rather blame the scripts, written by the same type of nerdy aloof guy who worships the MPDG than cast any blame towards her. Not that anyone did…
All The Real Girls was great, though I’m not sure that’s “before” she became the “indie princess”. Who knows anymore, keeping track of the genre movements is just getting complicated and far too much effort. I also never really understood the worship of her, as her portrayal of Trillian in HHGttG was not all that good, or even entertaining (though again, script).
I do want to see 500 Days of Summer for the non-linear storytelling and the surrealist scenes I’ve heard about. One review I read gave a lot of credit to the script and Deschanel for keeping Summer a complete mystery, even though it completely explores the male character’s inner mindset. That seemed like an interesting way to tell a MPDG story, and might lend itself more towards realism.
Oh, and every single time one of you says “edgy” I can’t get Daria out of my head.
@Rachel_in_WY: To be fair, it’s hard to have a young person’s indie adventure film when the main character can’t go on the road trip that will change his/her life because he/she can’t break the lease. Lots of these films are pure fantasy, and maybe 5% of the population can mimic it. Escapist fantasy that hopefully might tell you something interesting about yourself.
LOL. 500 Days of Summer was great! Zooey Deschanel and Joesph Gordon-Levitt were so cute together in that adorable film.
@aspiringexpatriate: this is true. Real life stories of scholarship students who stay home and work at Starbucks all summer with the occasional weekend camping trip thrown in don’t really make compelling films. Of course, if it was a character-driven story, then it might, but we’re dealing with the American film industry, after all. And you have to have real, complete, fleshed-out characters in order to have a character-driven plot. Waaaay too much work.
I thought she was good as William’s sister in Almost Famous, but besides that? Yeah, pretty insufferable.
A few hours after reading this post, I stumbled upon what looked like a very odd ad starring Ms. Deschanel… and then clicked through. I felt like it should be shared, for some reason?
http://www.thefabricofourlives.com/TheFabricOfMyLife/music.html
Weird.
But my issue is more with the screenwriters who seem to think that kookiness = character, and there doesn’t need to be any real depth to a female character if she’s just cute and quirky enough.
AMEN. This really, really bugged me about Kirsten Dunst’s character in Elizabethtown… and lo and behold, according to the Wiki page, the phrase “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” was coined in response to that character!
@Stacey Stardust: Cameron Crowe does tend to be guilty of the MPDG character more than most. Though it is still everywhere. I guess ‘Singles’ is his film with the most realistic female leads. (though Bridget Fonda could fit the mold)
@Katie: I’m a fan of that ad campaign. Updating an old tagline into a modern artistic campaign. It helps that those singer/songwriters actually use cotton a lot. Or at least seam to…
lol u got me.
I think it’s unfair to just toss this under “guys have cooties and are stupid!”. I think she’s one of the most annoying actresses in the industry right now. And I too have known a lot of pretentious hipsters who love her.
The thing is, it’s been pretty much a split between dudes with crushes and girls who have a hetero crush on her. The guys are looking for someone as vapid and empty as the characters she plays, which is bad. And the girls are actually impressed by the vapidness and want to be her. Which if anything I think is even more depressing. Because it’s erasing something that’s already there in order to try instilling a facade of pseudo-deepness.
Did you just make an assumption on Zooey’s personality? Also, are you getting mad at guys because they desire her quirky characters that she had played (I’ve seen most of her movies and only 500 days seem to fit that).
So what exactly are you saying? That guys shouldn’t like her because that’s not really her personality? Well no shit.
Stop demonizing masculinity. That’s what this article is really about.
Men like pretty women. Some men even like a pretty woman with a personality. Zooey is a pretty woman with a great personality, so some guys like her. It’s as simple as that. That’s the masculine perspective.
Many of us on this planet are masculine, ladies. Quit the deconstruction and learn to deal with it.
This is one woman’s perspective, AS. Quit chest-puffing and learn to deal with it.
“Maleness” != “masculinity,” AS.
Jussayin.
@ AS
Have you actually met this actress and can verify that she indeed has a great personality? I don’t think you can. So that’s your opinion and I will respect it which is more than I think you’ve done for the opinions or the people who have posted on this thread. You have no clue as to the gender of this audience. Not all of the people who post here are women.
So please save your assumption and keep it to yourself or kindly shove it. If you don’t agree with the opinion than there are many different ways to let us know without mansplaining this.
@Ocean_breeze: She has a great personality in the movies! And in his wank fantasies!
I have no idea what her private personality is like, but her public personality is great. That, in my opinion, is what so many men are responding to.
But, you see, I haven’t “mansplained” anything, Ocean_Breeze. You’re being intolerant of the communication style, which happens to be masculine, that I used for my above comment. Evidently, you find the (traditional) male communication style offensive. You may even find it an invalid communication style. Well, that’s part of the point I was trying to make before: some people in this world are male and/or masculine. Since we all have to live together, we may as well learn to be tolerant (and, hopefully, understanding) of each other, in spite of our differences.
I do respect the opinions of the original poster, and of all of those who’ve left comments. I’m aware of the kind of comments I’ll be getting for everything I’ve just said. Oh well, the Internet is no place for a civil discussion.
“You’re being intolerant of the communication style, which happens to be masculine, that I used for my above comment.”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I’ll tell my boyfriend that his communication style, which he likes to call “not being an asshat”, is insufficiently masculine.
@AS
NOW you break it down. On your first comment you had said she has a lovely personality. What you present to a camera in segments aired on tv is mighty different than when someone knows you. I’m sure her personality is lovely like anyone’s would be who depends on fan support for income.
I accept and appreciate your point of view as much as I get a chuckle
out of it. I actually have no strong opinion on this actress because frankly I don’t really watch her works. I do hold a problem when the idea of the thread is shat on and the tone you took when you let us know that we are all apparently offended by “masculine” men or whatever. Thanks for explaining to us how we are wrong in our OPINIONS.
And I understand men have a particular speech they use that is accepted among men. Hurra for yall. You are on a predominantly feminist site. You know what the form of communication is here.
@ Ocean_breeze
I didn’t feel the need to “break it down.” The original post discusses Zooey Deschanel as a public figure. My first comment was meant to be read in that context.
And I never called anyone’s opinion wrong, I simply voiced my own perspective. I didn’t say that you are all offended by masculine men, either. Here’s what I was trying to say: I think those of you who are responding to my first comment are being intolerant of a certain, allegedly asshatish, gender style of communication.
@ baraqiel
I’m not rating anyone’s manliness. I’m talking about gender styles in communication.
@ anyone who reads the comments I’ve posted
I’m a pro-feminist man, but I don’t like it when feminism–a respectable movement, one of critical importance to our society–is used as a “front” for misandry.
Anyway, I’m done with the Zooey Deschanel thing, unless someone genuinely wants me to clarify something I’ve written. I don’t want to be enemies with anyone on here. If I could go back in time, I would definitely rephrase my first comment… make it sound less attacking.
Having said that, I do think that the author of this post is attacking men just for being men, and that’s not fair. It’s pointless and hateful. It’s same thing as misogyny– something which feminists have worked hard to combat. My position is this: don’t undermine the achievements of the feminist movement by dressing misandry up as feminism.
Still, I think that, overall, this is a good site. I respect the author’s opinion, as she is undoubtedly correct in her assessment of some of Mrs. Deschanel’s fans, and her freedom to express her opinions.
And, regarding anything I’ve written, we can, in good conscience, agree to disagree.
For the record, I’m aware that this section in my first comment is ridiculous and highly flawed:
“Men like pretty women. Some men even like a pretty woman with a personality. Zooey is a pretty woman with a great personality, so some guys like her”
Its unclear, full of assumptions, it weakens my point and is generally useless. I typed it while I was angry. Please disregard that section of my first comment. Thanks.
I quite like this post that being said, I love Zooey Deschanel, and for the most part I love her for the reasons explained in this post, I like the fact that she is nonthreatening and has this idealized indie hipster vibe about her, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I love Zooey Deschanel in the same way I love Audrey Hepburn (though she’s a fair bit up the scale).
Now this may just be me, but I fail to see where you have allowed reality to enter into your words, Zoeey Deschanel is an actress and as such plays characters shown only in a way that the producers and directors of the films she is in want. what we the adoring fanboys see is what we dream for, and personally I am not so far removed from real life that i can’t separate what I see for two hours on a screen, what I wish for in my head and what exists in reality. There is a reason dreams never come true, because we fanboys all know that if we were to date any of Zooey Deschanel’s characters they’d be empty and our relationship would probably not even last the duration of the film. Zooey Deschanel is a wonderful actress, although suited only to a narrow character type, but I live my life off the silver screen, let’s not forget that a fantasy is just that, fantasy.