“Feminism also gave us an easy exit door from relationships. That’s a good thing if it were a truly bad relationship, but too often our economic freedom sends us fleeing out the back door of a “good enough” relationship, instead of learning to work through conflict. Who needs conflict resolution skills when you don’t need the ally?”

That one.

The reason: My dad has just decided he wants to divorce mum after a 40 year relationship and 25 years of marriage. He’s found a younger woman who can give him what he wants sexually. And in the wake of that announcement I’ve been learning about how he’s been psychologically violent (mum didn’t even know it qualified as such) and has coerced and cajoled her into having his kind of kinky sex and never agreeing to having her kind of not at all kinky sex. I haven’t told her that actually qualifies as rape – better she arrive at that conclusion herself.

All the time it’s been HER holding the relationship together because (as she rationalizes) she knows that there’s no such thing as the perfect relationship and this was “good enough” for her. That’s her way of putting it. It was “good enough”. She’s settled for a relationship that has been abusive and emotionally damaging for over 40 years only to be dumped for a mutual co-worker and friend of the family since ’88. This “good enough”. Women don’t need to accept “good enough”. Women need to learn to recognize when “good enough” is terribly bad for us and we should get out of there.

Mum’s been spending 40 fucking years of working through conflict BECAUSE she was convinced that an abusive relationship was “good enough”.

ARGH!!!

Sorry to rant. That concept about women needing to settle for “good enough” just angers me in so many ways. Why can’t we just choose to be single rather than settle for something that doesn’t make us happy, but some patronizing self-appointed wise-person has decided is “good enough” for us? Why must we stay in relationships we don’t want? Why is not okay to be single?

At least I’m not so full from lunch now.

Nice to know that her friends are big shots, though. That makes her whole argument valid.

The poor woman. The poor, stupid woman.

He told me my mother was too masculine because she had the audacity to fart in her own home and has no issue with lifting and moving heavy pieces of furniture AND she makes jokes!!!

He then proceeded to tell me the way I shake hands is revolting and that women should only give, what I term as ‘the dead fish’ hand shake.

Hence he is now the ex-boyfriend…

Haha…having a job is masculine. For real!