I hear ya and indeed, aside from respect and deference, the primary reason I don’t cuss in front of my Mom, et al. is that they simply prefer that I don’t. But surely you’re not suggesting that gender/patriarchy/othering isn’t a factor in determining who develops this preference?

I enjoy it mostly because I *know* it offends people, I never thought of ‘why’ but this sure did answer a lot of questions.

Maybe it’s less that you are avoiding cursing with your mother and aunts because they are ladies and more that you know it bothers them?

I was brought up by an out and proud harpy. My mother was in the Navy for 20 years and swears and talks like a sailor. I can’t say I’ve ever heard a man top anything I’ve heard from my mother’s mouth. So needless to say when I grew up and realised that women were supposed to talk and act a particular way, according to the rest of society, I was pissed.

I used to work behind the bar a few years ago and it was about this time I realised just how sexist the world was. In my world, women run the house, say whatever they want, do whatever they want, act however they want – period. So I thought ‘what are all those feminists whining about, everything is fine’ WRONG. Everyday I went to work I was constantly asked, by just about every single customer I encountered, why I wasn’t smiling or if I had had a bad day. It went on for a year and I was really starting to think that maybe I am just not a nice person to be around. But then it hit me. I work like the guys do. See the women behind the bar we all super sweet to everyone that came for a drink and asked them about their day and never stopped smiling, ever. I meanwhile was brief with customers (I really don’t care and I’m not going to pretend I do), got their drink and focussed on doing my job right and getting shit done – just like the guys. Did the guys get asked why they weren’t smiling or if they had a bad day, or worse, called a rude bitch – HELL NO!

This realisation culminated in a gigantic angry feminist rant at a customer one day who took it too far. The customer was horrified and confused (A woman talking and angry?! WTF?!) and I was left feeling very satisfied..

And I too, like many of the other women have mentioned have been called scary my entire life. Even where I work now I’m ‘scary’ even though I’ve never given anyone any reason to believe so. I don’t swear at work (except that time I dropped a box of loose paper and it went everywhere but that doesn’t count) purely because it’s unprofessional. But after the clock hits 5, the gloves are off…

I see two different issues here: vulgar language in general and women’s anger. I don’t like bad language in public. I think it shows a lack of respect for everyone around you. And I really hate it when parents curse in front of their kids. It is not cute to hear f-bombs out of the mouths of children. I think the epidemic of public vulgarity is just a symptom of the mental laziness of our society. Come on, people, have a little imagination!

There is no doubt at all that women’s anger is a powerful and terrifying force. That’s why the boys want to keep it contained. Tough. We’re not all your mommies and we don’t owe you anything beyond the same civility you owe us. And if we don’t get it, watch out. Swearing or not, we’re damned tired of depression when righteous anger is the appropriate reaction. Keep it up, harpies!