Mrs. Soup, did you actually read the post?

I didn’t say that anywhere in the post. At all.

And I wasn’t “targeting anger” on people for using “alcohol words” in their blogs. I was pointing out that their glorification of drinking as a way to stay “fun” and “young” and deal with their stress was stupid and sends a dangerous and unhealthy message.

I think you’re confused because you didn’t read the post and you’d rather attack me for taking issue with the work of a blogger who you like.

“As you said, the point of my post is that I’m angry with society for the double standard they set up for women who drink, and for their tendency to heap condemnation on women alcoholics–particularly mothers–in a way that they simply do not for men. That was the target of my anger, not alcoholics themselves.”

You say that is the reason for your post, and yet, in your comments are targeting anger on someone who is not even an alcoholic just because they use an alcohol word in her blog title and another blogger who uses alcohol words in book titles. Both seem to have a different kind of humor towards alcohol than yourself.

I believe that there is a lot of over generalization present in the article and the post with it. Suddenly anyone that has a drink is an alcoholic? Or anyone that has a girls night is saying “Hey, we may be stay-at-home moms, but we’re not stodgy! We can still hang the way we did in our twenties! We choose our choice!”

That makes me sad. Feminism has always had a shadow associated with it and if we keep being catty to each other without attempting to understand, it always will.

It really is just tasteless comedy. It is a way to relieve some tension without actually drinking and abusing drugs. She has said that she’s not an alcoholic nor would she do drugs; and I believe her. She’s been very honest with her candor in her blogging, and I see no reason to doubt her now. Yes, it is a very wink-y sort of place in regards to prescription drugs and alcohol. However, it’s like cracking a joke in a tense situation; you do it so that you don’t really crack. That’s not to say that she’s a perfect copy June Cleaver, but who is? She’s far from perfect, and her personality is what, in my opinion, makes her so hilarious.

From what I understand, this is Aunt Becky’s way of coping with the stress of having three children who can be very trying at times. She chooses to be a SAHM, and rather than actually turning to alcohol to de-stress, she blogs. She’s found a healthy outlet, and it’s really all in freedom of speech as to what sort of humor she uses on her blog.

It falls under that, “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it” category. And, as I don’t like the tone of this blog, I’ll choose not to read it. I read this post only because I was curious as to how Aunt Becky’s blog was involved. She’s not glorifying heavy drinking, merely using tasteless humor. So, if you don’t like the way she ‘constantly jokes’ about alcohol and drugs, stop reading her blog. It’s not for everyone. I will continue to be a faithful reader of MommyWantsVodka, because I think she’s a wonderful person, humorous, witty, and a great mom.

It’s the beauty of the internet; you can say what you like. The dark side, however, is that someone will always take it the wrong way or read too much into it.

As you said, the point of my post is that I’m angry with society for the double standard they set up for women who drink, and for their tendency to heap condemnation on women alcoholics–particularly mothers–in a way that they simply do not for men. That was the target of my anger, not alcoholics themselves.

I have a lot of sympathy for Stephanie Wilder-Taylor. I know many women like her and I think she’s very brave for going public with her recovery. It sounds like her honesty and candor is already helping other women who might also need to take the First Step.

As for mommylovesvodka, I really dislike Aunt Becky’s constant joking about alcohol and drugs. The tagline of the blog is “Because I couldn’t spell Percocet”, and earlier was “Because Mommylovescocaine was taken”. Today when someone said “why don’t you have a Vicodin instead of a drink” she says “why should I choose?” I’m sorry, but I don’t buy into the whole LOL! BOOZ N DRUGZ R FUNNY! ethos of her writing. She has said she’s not an alcoholic, but she does keep up a constant patter of wink-y bragging/boasting about booze and drugs. Is she just being tasteless and juvenile? Maybe. Or maybe she’s like Stef. I don’t know her, so I can’t say for sure, but I think the message she’s putting out is not a healthy one.

“I had a boyfriend who was a little like that–he was a big drinker and would get sort of testy with me when I turned down a second glass of wine–this was before I gave up alcohol altogether–when he was on his fifth glass.”

Using common sense, one would take that to mean that you abstain from drinking in much the same way an alcoholic would.

Nor did I say that I thought Aunt Becky is an alcoholic. Before we get into some pissing contest, I wonder if you’d clarify something; how do you think that MommyWantsVodka ignorantly glorifies heavy drinking? Perhaps if I understand your reasoning behind that particular statement – taken from the post that I DID read – I could understand why you feel that way. When I made the off-the-cuff remark about the vodka shooters, I was not saying that she blogs about drinking. One might think that by basing their opinion solely on her blog’s name.

I applaud you (sarcasm-free) for giving up the sauce and abstaining. I think it’s wonderful that you’re resisting the same ‘curse’ that has struck many other members of your family. I, too, come from a family with many heavy drinkers and alcoholics.

Once I read, re-read, and read the section about Stefanie once more, I realized that you weren’t being vicious or negative toward her. My bad. And if one were to follow information on that article, they would know that she was not happy about the reference to Diane Schuler in the article. However, the tone of your post does seem a bit vicious, but I realize now that it’s directed toward society’s viewpoint on female drinking versus the female drinkers themselves.

So I realize that I misconstrued your blurbs about Stefanie. I’ll let those go. However, I’d still appreciate some clarification on why you believe Aunt Becky’s blog belongs in this article in any way, shape or form.

I also do not have information on turning women into harpies… Though, if I did, I would be happy to share it with you.

Furthermore, at no point in this post am I “vicious and negative” towards women alcoholics. Quite the opposite. Which, again, you would know if you’d read the post carefully.

I am also not half woman/half bird. It would be pretty awesome if I were, though, and if you know how to make that happen, please let me know.

There’s this thing in the real world that we little people like to call ‘research’. You may not have heard of it yet, it may be kind of new in your anti-feminist neighborhood.

I have read Aunt Becky (mommywantsvodka)’s archives; she does not blog about vodka shooters, I can assure you. Matter of fact, if one reads her blog and her ‘About Me’ sections, you’ll find that she really doesn’t even like vodka. If mommies want to take some time off to go out with some girlfriends (sans children) and chit-chat over a few drinks, what the hell is the problem with that?

If your vindication that she ‘ignorantly glorifies’ heavy drinking owing to the name of her blog, I can assure you that she does not. It’s called humor and sarcasm. If you’re running under that assumption, does that mean I should also assume that you are actually half bird, half woman? I am fairly sure you are not, and by deduction of COMMON SENSE figured that out on my own. After all, the feathers would make it difficult to type with, yes? See, taking things TOO literally isn’t always the best path to choose.

So instead of immediately bashing someone based upon their blog name or the fact that they’re blogging about their sober journey (As Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is doing), try that new-fangled thing called research. Because it takes a strong person to get out there and admit they have a problem. Rather than bashing her, why not encourage your cause by congratulating her on admitting she has a problem and that she got help for it?

As someone who is sober, I would think that you of all people would understand the difficulty in abstaining. Did other sober people put you down this way when you started on your sobriety journey? I certainly hope not.

Why not support other women in a positive fashion, by offering sincere commentary and offering to help when you see there is a problem? There are so many other ways human beings (and I’m not even going to dip into the feminism pool) can support and encourage one another. Instead, you chose – in this post, anyhow – to be vicious and negative.