Comments on: Thought for the Week

By: The beauty of making a mistake « Dating Jesus

The beauty of making a mistake « Dating Jesus — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:09:37 +0000

[...] 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment I’m a big fan of The Pursuit of Harpyness, and in this post, she explores Marva Collins’ wonderful quote: If you can’t make a mistake, you [...]

By: kithkin

kithkin — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:23:32 +0000

Like Blind Irish Pirate says, perfect timing. I’m working on a paper that is shamefully–SHAMEFULLY–overdue. I have to finish it this week. I may just put this quote at the top of my header, along with

FINISHED IS BETTER THAN PERFECT,

which is what I usually use. If I do not have a constant reminder of these things I will be paralyzed. I’ve been paralyzed for the last two months.

By: Blind Irish Pirate

Blind Irish Pirate — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:56:30 +0000

Ah, you have perfect timing.

To even add to what you’ve already said: it seems to create a jealousy of my co-workers/friends/whatever when I don’t meet my own standards, which is somewhere where I don’t want to be. It’s ridiculous.

By: viajera

viajera — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:28:57 +0000

Thank you for this. I, too, am a perfectionist/overachiever who went through a serious bout of “fraud syndrome” when I first started my PhD program. Now, as a 5th year with most of my research done, I’m comfortable with the professional aspects of my life. But I’ve dealt with a number of difficulties in my personal life this year (divorce, loss of once-trusted “friends”) which have made me feel like a bit of a failure on that front. Now that I’m in a new social environment, I’ve been worrying about “messing up” – but I know all too well that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Fittingly, I found the following message in my fortune cookie last night: “Failure is the mother of success”.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:28:28 +0000

Good luck, PH.Dork!

Does the quotation have to be from a woman?

By: PhDork

PhDork — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:53:49 +0000

Justina, I thought about including that Beckett quote as a post-script. I love it, have it written/posted several places, and even have an email address derived from it. Whenever I hear people go on about how bleak Beckett's work is, I have to think they've never actually read his stuff. mkp, that cognitive-behavioral model is good stuff: follow the logic. What happens if the boss/teacher doesn't like what you produce? Will the sky fall? Will you be publically mocked for your errors? Will you be kicked off the island? Or will you just have to revise your work? Well, that's no big deal. (End of Day 2 Report: A teeny tiny car crammed full of angry clowns with Agendas and Delicate Feelings is now part of my circus. It gives me something for each ring, but I'm still lacking an actual tent.)

By: Kari

Kari — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:41:08 +0000

I have found my fear of failure especially trying in academia. There’s this weird combination of old-boys/ivory-tower/ traditional/we-always-do-it-THIS-way/hidebound traditions, and new/innovative/modern/wave-of-the-future/free-form novelty. The result (in my experience) is the appearance that everything runs smoothly and everyone knows what they’re doing, but when you’re doing it yourself, it’s a bit of a free-fall. Good luck.

I have lots of sayings I like, but I thought I’d throw out this beloved chestnut: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” (Gandhi) I use it to remind myself to live my own principles with integrity, without violence or antagonism. (And not just fume helplessly, or yell uselessly.)

By: Pilgrim Soul

Pilgrim Soul — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:37:20 +0000

The need to be absolutely one hundred percent perfect at everything I do is the main reason I’m not doing what I wanted to do with my life right now. I’m starting to knock some of those walls down, but it’s really goddamn hard.

By: Plum-Pie

Plum-Pie — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:36:02 +0000

I was so paralysed by perfectionism/fear of failure that I ended up achieving very little between the ages of 16 and 23.

Now I set myself much lower standards and am very productive. (I could talk about this issue at great length with numerous examples.)

In summary, I’m a fan of making a decent effort – regularly and frequently, and forgiveness.

By: tallgirl-in-heels

tallgirl-in-heels — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:45:46 +0000

Hey, I have that sculpture! It’s sitting in my living room, contemplating an hour glass. The vignette encapsulates my current fixation on how damn fast time seems to be passing these days.

Anyways, I am trying (not very successfully) to transition out of law into a new career. I have been feeling a bit like a failure lately, as though somehow this one rough patch erases the many years of success that came before. Ugh.