Comments on: Retro Pleasures: Jewelry

By: Signs and Wonders - The Pursuit of Harpyness

Signs and Wonders - The Pursuit of Harpyness — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 23:45:56 +0000

[...] the second sign: I wrote once before about how I have a diamond ring that I bought after I called off an engagement years ago. I call it [...]

By: Ms. M

Ms. M — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:16:38 +0000

I can relate to playing in my mom’s jewelery box as a child. I loved it! She mainly had costume type jewelery, and never wore any of it that I remember (she had a bunch of kids, and was running a business). So for me the jewelery held the personality of my mom as a young vibrant woman out dancing and having fun, something I could barely imagine.

By: Froufrou

Froufrou — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:06:05 +0000

I am so with you on the jewelry with a history.
Most of what I wear comes from my English grandmother; she gave me something like a dozen pairs of her earrings when I got my ears pierced at the age of 12, and I inherited most of her jewelry when she died two years ago.
Every piece of it means a lot to me, because of her, and because I spent so much time playing with her jewelry box as a kid
My mother got the valuable bits,such as a set of really pretty opals, but those weren’t what I wanted; what I treasure the most is a bracelet made of 3-penny coins from the thirties, and her wedding ring.

By: Alix

Alix — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 03:36:05 +0000

I had my wedding ring melted down for my “divorce ring”, gave the diamond to my daughter and had an ammolite stone instead — it’s soooo pretty.

By: Spark

Spark — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 19:14:23 +0000

@Becky: The compensation is for her reputation because an engaged woman was presumed not to be a virgin anymore. Under patriarchy, even when you win, you lose.
On the fairness of ketubahs: this is how the rabbi who married us consoled me when I was on the verge of going for a Wiccan or Quaker ceremony. Not that it matters, as our ketubah is of the legally meaningless “we promise to love each other” variety. Not that it doubly matters, because I reject any Jewish court’s claim of jurisdiction.

By: Lostaway 4 8 15 16 23 42

Lostaway 4 8 15 16 23 42 — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:58:37 +0000

I love to hear about jewelry with a story behind it. I’m always watching Antique’s Roadshow and waiting to see people bring in their shiny pretties–which usually end up being worth ridiculous amounts of money. I just saw an episode where this old lady brought in a platinum ring with a canary diamond in it that was worth something like a $100 grand! The craziest thing is that it looked just like new (from what I understand, you just have to polish platinum to keep it looking brand-spankin-new). It’s always cool to hear the stories behind the jewelry, but honestly all I remember from that episode was the price of the ring and the look on that old lady’s face when they told her it!

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:52:36 +0000

@Spark: Oh for the days when a broken engagement could result in legal action and payout! Maybe I could have gotten the money from my ex to buy my disengagement ring!

Oh man, the traditional Jewish ceremony pretty much encompasses all of the Patriarchy’s Greatest Hits. The woman shows up veiled, is bought and paid for by contract and doesn’t speak a word the whole time. Of course, this is why you only ever see it performed among the ultra-Orthodox–no modern Jewish woman would ever put up with it.

The only saving grace is the ketubbah itself, which offers a pretty good legal deal for the bride. When it’s enforced correctly, the terms are quite favorable, esp. now that most Orthodox ketubbot also contain what’s called the “Lieberman clause”, which says that if the husband leaves his wife but refuses to grant her a divorce, he has to maintain her financially for the rest of her life.

By: Spark

Spark — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:39:50 +0000

@Becky: I was thinking of this from Slate : "Until the 1930s, a woman jilted by her fiance could sue for financial compensation for "damage" to her reputation under what was known as the "Breach of Promise to Marry" action. As courts began to abolish such actions, diamond ring sales rose in response to a need for a symbol of financial commitment from the groom." That's a kind reading of the Jewish marriage ceremony. The woman is not allowed to give a ring or any token to the man, because it turns the event into an exchange rather than an acquisition.

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:29:21 +0000

@Spark: I think the diamond engagment ring was more of a “Hey I got money so I can afford a wife” kind of status symbol. Although in the Jewish wedding ceremony, the groom’s giving the bride a gold ring is actually symbolic of his endowing her with his goods per their marriage contract (which they sign during the ceremony). In the ancient tradition, Jewish grooms gave brides coins instead of a ring. Now he puts the ring on her finger and she symbolizes her acceptance of the contract by closing her fingers around it. It’s a really literal interpretation of marriage as a legal contract.

By: Penny_Esq

Penny_Esq — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:18:04 +0000

I am also a jewelry lover, and have a preference for small pieces that I can leave on/in all the time. Most of my pieces were gifts from my mom. She gave me a pair of Yogo sapphire earrings for my birthday this year, which she bought in Montana while visiting her hometown. They’re just studs, maybe 1/8 carat each, and they’re truly gorgeous. I love the jewelry my mom buys me because it definitely reflects both how well she knows me; it reflects MY personality. And they mark momentous occasions – birthdays, yes, but not just because of the birthday, because the piece marks what my life was like at that time. She buys almost all of it from a local jeweler (all conflict-free diamonds) in my hometown she had as a high school Spanish student in the ’70s.

Most of my mom’s stuff is a lot bigger and like PhDork, I feel like I can’t pull those pieces off, though I admire them on people who can. (And I do covet my mom’s wedding ring, which is bigger than what I normally wear but consists of 20 small diamonds rather than one big one – came from an auction). Like PilgrimSoul, I can’t imagine hauling around a ginormous engagement ring, and if a dude presented me with one, it would be cause for alarm. Also, I’d probably destroy three sweaters and put my eye out within the week trying to maneuver with something giant on my hand.