The majority of classes in the program were listed under other majors: sociology, nursing, etc. Those classes had the same demographics as the school the class was offered under. The oddest class was the nursing one, with a rather inflamatory title, and as it was always over-full, the instructor gave first dibs to the women’s studies students (which did not endear me at all to the nursing students – especially my room-mate).

I was working on 2nd bachelor’s because the grad school I was looking into wasn’t convinced I “could do it” as my undergrad grades were not all that great (I ended up dropping out of their masters program). So I worked on 2nd bachelor’s in “arts and humanities” (it was easier to take classes as a degree seeking student than as a non-degree student) and managed to meet all the requirements with women’s studies classes (except for philosophy, where the choices were “dead white guys” or “dead white guys”). In almost every class, I was the only engineer, as everyone else was in a liberal arts program.

Most folks I’ve talked to about “women’s studies” ask with all seriousness where is the “men’s studies” program, and I’ll usually reply that the rest of the university is “men’s studies.” I find that those hecklers don’t want to hear it, they just want to complain about something.

The cost of university has gone up too much these days, so I couldn’t afford to scratch those intellectual itches in the same fashion that I could afford 15 years ago. I don’t know about your university, but the ones near where I live (and I’m now working on a masters in a different subject) end up costing about $1500 per 3 credit course (it is a state university). Consequently, all the classes I’m taking apply directly towards my degree, or towards a current need at the office.

ETA: I have deleted Andy’s offending comment because it’s bullshit. C’est la vie, asswipe!

Others – knock it off, please. I appreciate that you were trying to be patient. But you guys, people who come to this site who obviously have no real interest in “feminism” beyond applying the label to themselves and their actions – those people are not to be encouraged. I realize there’s no obvious rule in a situation like this one, but it was pretty clear to me from the get-go that this was not a person here to do anything but trash feminism. Follow the Barney Frank rule: if it looks like a kitchen table, and it argues like a kitchen table, it probably is, indeed, a kitchen table. With a troll under it.

I’m currently at a crossroads and spending a lot of time thinking about how I want to live my life, and noticing more and more the myriad pressures on women in particular–on the one hand, we are told we can do anything, but on the other, that message is undermined by social codes that still make it impossible for women to ‘have everything’ and not feel that they are failing in some way, either because they are ‘putting their children in a day orphanage’ (what a horrible phrase) or not fulfilling themselves in the workplace or not adequately caring for their parents.

If society could do one thing better, it would be recognising the validity of varying life models – to work or not to work, to have children or not, to marry or not, to have one partner or many, to love men or women – and view them all as viable and equally deserving of respect, as long as certain constants are there (doing no harm to others, the presence of love and care for one’s fellow man). /Rant.

Do the other feminists you know begin their paroxysms of ideological rage before or after you lay down Biology is destiny?

Like I told someone else here a couple of days ago, there is something in your post that is causing people to react strongly and negatively to you. Perhaps you should take a look at that before you deign to post again.

@Andy: Calling each other names is rude and unproductive, but I don’t believe that anyone did that here.

I sense a certain amount of defensiveness in your posts. I don’t know if that’s the result of personal encounters you’ve had with people who have criticized your decisions or whether you are reacting to a perceived “feminist critique” of stay-at-home moms. And again, people who attack you for your choice are out of line and misunderstand what feminism is.

Still, I don’t believe there’s any one right way for men or women to live their lives. Maybe the problem isn’t that “women are encouraged to imitate the life trajectories of men”. Maybe the problem is that the entire system is wrong. Maybe both men and women are too limited in the choices society offers them. Maybe some men would like to take time out to rear their young kids while their female partners work. Maybe they’d like to split the time. Maybe a woman has kids but relates better to them as they get older, and would like help with them when they’re little.

IMO, our society doesn’t particularly like children-that’s the reason stay at home moms don’t feel respected. If we did care about our kids., we’d pay our child care workers the salaries they deserve. New parents would get more than a paltry month or 6 weeks off after the birth/adoption of a baby. Women would have access to comprehensive reproductive health care so they could have children only when and if they were ready to do so. Every child would have comprehensive health care and adequate food, clothing and shelter. Yeah, we love our kids-in theory. But it’s unfair and inaccurate to blame those shortcomings on feminism.

Finally, I can’t believe you really, truly believe that biology is destiny. If you’ve ever used birth control, or gotten a PAP smear, you know that’s not true.