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The Mind of the Modern Googler

Posted by BeckySharper in Thoughts, Search Terms of Endearment on Sep 8, 2009, 11:00am | 4 comments
At least I'm not the only one with a penchant for pointless endeavors. via keso @ flickr

At least I'm not the only one with a penchant for pointless endeavors. via keso @ flickr

do women like men in thongs — Sometimes. As long as it’s not Borat.

Someone told me I was a bitch — Were you being a better bitch?

fuck mee aribian — “aribian” = Arabian? Caribbean?

i cheat on my fiance — Congrats, you’re a creep.

squeezing huggest fake bubes in tiny bra — my bubes are hugger than yours!

etsy is a bunch of bitchy women with their claws out — We dare you to say that to our face.

women should be forced to wear high heels and know their place — Oh, we think not. Thanks for being a total misogynist creep, please don’t come again.

nude harpy — None of that here!

do you wear bikini in elevator — Not without sunscreen.

how does the missionary position feel for a man? — I’m guessing it feels good?

history of why a woman’s private parts are called a beaver? — Because it’s fun to demean parts of women’s anatomy! They’re less threatening that way, amirite?

Ladies: ever had vacation sex? — Occasionally…

national cankle day — That’s even more ridiculous than Columbus Day.

cankles fuck — A new day, a new fetish to learn about

we don’t need feminism — Who’s this “we”?  You got a mouse in your pocket?

wants to no if i can beat up my brother, how can i simulate the fight — Yes, violence is always a great idea!

I’M SO FUCKING TIRED — We get this one about once a day. Have Googlers never heard of the wonders of coffee?

???? ??????? ???? ??? ?? ?? — It’s like the inane Morse Code of Google.

college sperm shot competition — Please tell me that’s not sanctioned by the NCAA and broadcast on ESPN.

RANDOMLY really angry pms — The best part of this is that RANDOMLY is capitalized, and pms is not.

WTF is Sarah Palin talking about media — Damned if we know.

groom fucks all the brides maids — This may be a sign that you should call off the wedding.

pussy pursuit — What, like a car chase on the LA freeway? “The vadge is outmaneuvering the cock car, whatever will the dude do?”

world sex travel guide the adventurous man’s guide to sex tourism — YOU FAIL AT LIFE. (Too harsh? I think not.)

riding a girl too much — Let’s recap: a “girl” (or woman) is neither a pony or a ferris wheel. Got it?

tongue-in-cheek ways of calling people fat — Related: my counter-search entitled “straightforward ways of calling people assholes”.

gay animal sex movie — this from the spam queue.  Did those Central Park Zoo penguins break into porn?

girls from MT who do sex – Any Montanans out there?  What are y’all doing out there under the big sky?

yankee logo tattoo pics — sarah.of.a.lesser.god may be interested in these also.

where to sell my homemade pies — We’ll take them!

padded nursing bra why would I want padding? — good point, akshully

The Tinkerbell that flies overhead during Disneyland’s fireworks show is typically played by a man

4 Responses to “The Mind of the Modern Googler”

  1. rodriguez says:
    September 8, 2009 at 11:57 am

    Nursing bras need padding b/c you leak.

  2. mischiefmanager says:
    September 8, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Some of those look like fridge magnet sentences.

  3. Rachel from Moody Springs says:
    September 8, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Ladies: ever had vacation sex? — Occasionally…

    At first I misread this one and thought it said “Vatican sex” (insert laughing smiley)

  4. Sissy Panty Buns says:
    September 10, 2009 at 1:50 am

    Do women like men in panties? Hope I’m not Borat.

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