Thinking of talking to your kids about sex but too scared to say “penis” or “vagina?” Nervous as you may be, fret not. You don’t have to talk about the parts. That’s what Obama’s Department of Health and Human Services wants you to know. Check out this ridiculous, shameful commercial, which I’ve seen a bunch of times in the past few days (via Amplify Your Voice):
“Just tell me you want me to wait,” concludes the little girl narrating the PSA.
“Wait for what?” is the obvious question, since mom and dad won’t be talking about any “parts.” What an irresponsible message to send America’s families: you have no obligation to prepare your children for sex, just tell them not to do it (whatever “it” is). The 4parents government website has tips for talking to teens about sex and a page about the importance of marriage. If their “benefits of marriage” list is any indication, they seem to have forgotten that correlation does not equal causation. There is also a page about teaching kids how to say “no” (to sex). I could not find anything about teaching kids not to pressure, coerce or force others into sexual activity. Same as it ever was…
I don’t know whether the administration really endorses this message or is just using what remains of abstinence-only funds. Either way, something stinks.
omg. I HATE this ad. HATE! I had no idea this was endorsed by the administration. I assumed it was paid for by some pro-abstinence org. Ugh. Gross.
Oh for the fuck of shit.
YES, YOU DO HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE PARTS! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE UNLESS YOU TALK ABOUT THE GODDAMN PARTS!
It bears repeating that the societies with the lowest rates of teen pregnancy and STI transmission are the countries that have comprehensive sex ed where they OMG TALK ABOUT THE PARTS! Any evidence-based study of sex ed programs will show this in big, bold factual numbers that even an idiot–or a Republican–can understand.
Why, oh whhhhhyyyyy must we be “embarrassed” to talk to our kids about sex??? Doesn’t this just perpetuate the idea that sex is shameful and shouldn’t be talked about?
If we can’t talk to our kids about sex, how can we ever expect them to talk to us about sex?
Fer fuck’s sake.
How old is this ad? I wonder if this had anything to do that that anti Obama hired. Which department is the Faith-Based Initiatives in?
Really, there are 2 talks, or one talk with 2 topics. One is the body parts one and the other is the morality one. The ad gets the general idea of the latter one right, but there’s no avoiding the former if you want to do it right. And acting like the names and functions of body parts is squicky is a hell of a message to send to your adolescent. Can we at least pretend to be grownups once in a while?
There is no reason at all to drag marriage into this. Obama, I’m ashamed for you.
Imparting this vague sense of secrecy, shame, tension and fear around sex without any actual education or options has worked so well at keeping sexually mature/maturing humans from sex for the past millenia! Keep it up, America!
Good dog, if your 9 year old doesn’t know the names of her “parts,” you’ve already screwed it up royally.
“See, Betsy, someday a boy will want to put his wingwang in your shamecave, but that is wrong and dirty and horrible and you can get diseases and die. Also it makes babies.”
Every time I see this commercial I wonder… what is the little girl whose parents don’t tell her about the “parts” going to do when she wakes up bleeding out of her vagina one day?
This was put out by the Onion. Has to be. Yes? Yes?
This reminds me of the sex talk I had with my parents when I was 8. I walked in on them one morning and they were as they explained to me “loving each other” and then proceeded to give me the most.confusing.talk.ever. I did not realize until I was 15 and had a boyfriend that there were things between kissing and sex. I thought you kissed, then you had sex, then you had a baby. Yes my parents are uber Catholics…and yes, I read copious amounts of romance novels to try to the fill the void, but was just left further confused by what a “throbbing monolith” was. These kids are DOOMED!
These commercials make me so angry!”You don’t even have to talk about the parts”??? Why are we encouraging parents as well as children to find this awkward and disgusting? I don’t think that’s teaching anyone to respect their body or sexuality. I remember reading something back in my teenage years, when I wanted to know more about all that stuff, but my parents got too flustered at the mere hint of the subject on tv, that “it’s ok if you feel guilty after your first time- that’s normal” WHAT? no it’s not normal, or healthy- we should not be conditioning young people to think they are dirty for doing something that is completely natural. Making sex taboo is hurting people so much more than -gasp- premarital sex ever could.
I was wondering when someone was going to talk about that commercial. I’ve been seeing it for a while, and it pisses me off every time.
“You don’t have to talk about the parts. You don’t have to be explicit.” WHAT? Those two sentences, one after another.
Using the proper anatomical names for your body parts in NOT EXPLICIT. When your OB/GYN says “OK, and now to palpate your ovaries, I’m going to put two fingers into your vagina.” Do you stop your doctor and say “I’m sorry, you’re being explicit. From now on, refer to it as my shamecave.”???
Hell, handbasket, etc.
“Shamecave” is absolutely hilarious. Wow.
I’m in Canada and I saw this on TV (American channel I guess) and went off about it. My little sister couldn’t understand what was wrong with it. Shes 14. That made me even sadder.
How sad is it that some people can’t use the proper words with their kids. My son talks endlessly about his penis and his “tech-i-sells” (he’s three) and his sisters know all the proper names for their parts too.
The eldest quite frequently asks questions that could be considered “explicit,” but what of it? If she can’t get her questions answered by her mother, who is going to answer them?
By the way, I curate a collection of stories related to sex-ed called Beyond the Birds and the Bees. Feel free to check it out or submit your own story.
That commercial sucks. A lot. But the 4Parents website is annoying me about the same amount. It’s basically pushing the “wait until you’re married talk,” which is NOT the same as the “wait until you’re ready” talk.
It basically ignores the fact that a lot of teenagers and young adults actually want to have sex. Not all of them, and it may still be the wrong or irresponsible choice (depending on individual situation). But once they’re over the age of consent it’s their choice.
The “how to say no / wait for marriage” talk it’s addressing the whole “when you’re ready to say yes” side of the issue.
As a peer educator, I take serious issue with the “don’t talk about the parts” aproach. Gee, could you vague that up for me? This kind of vague conversation does kids and teens NO GOOD and is the sheltering kind of message that screams,”I’m sorry, honey, I don’t trust you to make decsions, so I’m going to censor the information you, my child, recieve.” I am very dissapointed to hear that this ad has the backing of an administration that, as a member of the comprehensive sex education movement, I hoped would do a lot of good for my cause. And on a personal note, the last thing I know most teens want to hear from their parents is “wait to have sex” its really condescending.
This commercial ticks me off everytime I see it. But it’s now much better here in the southern/ midwestern area- we’re taught to “be pure” for our future spouses, and anatomy is gone over for about one day of an eight day course, the rest of it being jam-packed with videos and scare tactics. No answers about sex itself, just the “just wait” talk. It’s this kind of crap that gives Texas the number one spot for teen pregnancy (Go Republicans! not).
Ugh, truly a sad commentary on our culture’s attitudes towards sex. It’s a shame we’re not seeing more progressive messages coming out of the Obama government. Still the same-ol anti-drug anti-sex TV ads as in the Bush era…
Misinformation FTL.
@vegkitty That girl will cry for days thinking she has some horrible disease. This is how I reacted when this happened to me. Another example of how my Irish Catholic mother prepared me for menses. We were passing a drug store when she said out of the blue and with no apparent connection to anything, “Well, I suppose that you will be costing me more money soon…” I was totally bewildered and it was literally years before I connected it with buying sanitary pads…
Who authorized them to teach abstinence from thinking ?
I don’t want to appear like I’m plugging a book necessarily, but I ran across this one which deals with the subject of abstinance while viewing the blog over at Feministing. It’s entitled ‘the purity myth – How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women’ by Jessica Valenti http://jessicavalenti.com/?page_id=38 . Jessica Valenti is the Executive Editor at Feministing http://www.feministing.com I was wondering whether you might have read it or be familiar with her work.