Comments on: Don’t Call Me “Miss”: A Rant

By: Patti

Patti — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 06:04:30 +0000

Oh, and no one is going to call you Ms. unless they know you and know you want that. I think the writer is referring to strangers, cashiers and such saying things like “that will be 3.25, Miss”. Oh gosh I can’t stand it. I was also thinking about men, what should we call them? Young man? Little boy? So lame. Women need to get over being offended by the word “ma’am”. It does not mean you’re old, it means you’re an adult. I can remember being called ma’am since I was 16. Miss is demeaning and so incredibly offensive, in my opinion.

By: Patti

Patti — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 05:51:15 +0000

I feel like some are replying as if the writer is referring to “Miss” on letters; in writing. She is referring to someone speaking it. And I tell ya, I hate it, too. I cringe every time I hear it. To me, what they are really saying is “I know you’re old but I’m going to try to make you think that I think that you’re not.” Oh brother. Here’s what I have to say: I’m Ma’am. I earned it. Stop treating me like a 12 year old and stop assuming that you are making me feel better about my age by calling me Miss. Number one pet peeve!!!!

By: Nancy

Nancy — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:25:19 +0000

I insist upon being called “miss.” I want the world to know that I have made it to my advanced age without the safety net of husband…or any other kind of partner for that matter.

And in matters of harpitude, I think being a gray-haired “miss”–far from being condescending–conveys a kind of “don’t mess with me” attitude.

I’m proud to be a “miss.”

By: Nick

Nick — Mon, 03 Sep 2012 20:23:04 +0000

I think within certain limits people should be able to control how they are addressed. Though I think it is wise for everyone to remember that there are few universal rules. Very few people will go out of the way to insult someone or make them uncomfortable via which title is being used.

By: elle

elle — Tue, 08 May 2012 00:03:35 +0000

Kelly, I don’t know what you’re talking about! LOL. As an “older lady” I can tell you we do not like being called ma’am at all! No more than most women your age like being called ma’am, at least here in USA. It has come to mean in the popular culture that you are elderly and unattractive, not worth it for a man to pursue sexually. All age women like to feel pretty and sexually desired. Ma’am deflates the ego in that respect. Also, I don’t like Miss and I agree with you on that score. It is an old term for a young girl or unmarried woman. Once there was a corresponding term for men it was Master. We don’t use that anymore for obvious reasons. Things would be easy on everyone if ma’am was used for all women and girls regardless of age as sir is used for all men and boys too.

By: Kelly Bloom

Kelly Bloom — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:53:59 +0000

I don’t believe mam or miss have to do with anything “sexual” at all. haha I don’t know where elle was going with that comment…

I have worked in sales/retail since I was 15 and now am 24. We’ve had a couple of young women hired at my work that use “miss” I have told them not to use that term many times, to use mam. Being called “miss” goes really back to being a child. Often when your little your mom may say to you “missy what did you do?”. This is because the term miss or missy is a young ladies term. As in you would call a 2-10 year old girl that. I’m almost positive that’s why we call unmarried women miss, show a sign of youth and not being yet wise (we call them that on paper like miss.johnson, not outloud). So when your 20 years old working at Pottery Barn calling 40+ year old customer miss that is very disrespectful. If you look more into this you will find its politically incorrect to do so. That makes the lady almost always feel like your better then her (degrading), your not going to gain her sales or even attention at that point. Try not to use miss when talking with women you don’t no that well (young or old) always say mam. Its the polite thing to do!

By: helen

helen — Thu, 13 May 2010 20:17:56 +0000

Thanks for that im still baffled in england nobody ever calls a female coleague miss and christian name especially your boss and around same age mid forties in meetings

By: elle

elle — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 17:52:56 +0000

I would be okay being called ma’am if every adult woman was addressed as ma’am. But when you go into a bar and they call the 25-year-old woman next to you Miss and then turn to you and you’re Ma’am…I mean WTF? Then you KNOW Ma’am is code for old-b*-I-wouldn’t-want-to-f* right? And NO woman likes being that or thought of as that.

What’s offensive is the idea that if you no longer look 18 as a woman you’re somehow irrelevant and out of the running as a vibrant and yes, sexual human being where men are always distinguished older gentlemen. I think that’s why so many grown women are offended at being called Ma’am – young and old.

You’re absolutely correct about the Miss title. It is meant for little girls. Nobody past teenage should be called Miss. If it was being used that way, I would be okay with it. But it’s not. Personally I would prefer Ms for every woman. Sir applies to every male irrespective of actual age (or perceived age).

And it isn’t hard to pronouce and sounds pretty different from Miss with it’s soft hiss sound at the end. But that’s not happening as long as ma’am is so entrenched in the military and the southern states.

By: ujeen

ujeen — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 07:09:34 +0000

In the south waiters will call women “ma’am” but not say “sir” to the other male patrons so I find it sexist and about age to call women ma’am.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:36:00 +0000

I’ve read over most of these comments and agree. I hate to be called Miss. It irritates me to some degree “every” time I hear it. I’m over 50 and even if the man is trying to be nice I find it demeaning to title me as a “Miss” (like, Miss Ellie). After all I have done: career, raising three children, paying for colleges as a single mom later on, and getting an MBA, and then someone dares refer to me as “Miss”? Like: “litte miss”. Very disrespectful. How should I refer to men? As Miss John? Miss Dave? How would they like that?

I guess you can tell I was trying to see what other women felt about this after leaving work today being referred to as Miss Lynn.