Comments on: When fat-hatred and the wedding industrial complex collide

By: Cathleen

Cathleen — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:45:40 +0000

It is sad that weight is an issue among the wedding world and sadly, I hate the fact that I will have to deal with that issue when I cross that path. Though I hope to be a bit smaller, not excessive weight loss, when I’m a bit older. Yes I am indeed on the big side, but big isn’t bad, it just means we can’t wear those name brand, Ambercrombie and Finch and american eagle stuff.

By: have.at.it

have.at.it — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:47:24 +0000

Oh man, this one hits home. I got married two weeks ago. In May, I bought a size 8 wedding dress. Two weeks ago, the dress still fit and I got married. Victory, right? NO! I was upset with myself for not losing weight! And I obsess over how my arms look in the pictures. And I KNOW it’s batshit crazy. So really — what the fuck is wrong with me? Why do we have to all lose weight for our weddings? Why can’t I be satisfied with looking like myself at my wedding?

By: Claire (aka blue_streak)

Claire (aka blue_streak) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:44:33 +0000

@bluebears: I think “your body is working so hard to cleanse” is a euphemism for having diarrhea. Yeah, not something I do voluntarily. Although for involuntary diarrhea, I do like to stay in!

By: Spark

Spark — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:56:54 +0000

@mischiefmanager: I agree there are steps you can take to minimize patriarchy-related pressure, but what I meant was–getting married brings out stuff from other people. No matter how non-traditional you go, people are going to tell you why you should change your name, give their opinion on what you should look like, etc. At least that was my experience.
For the record, preparing for my wedding was fine, it was just the body stuff I wasn’t prepared for. Like suddenly my body was up for public comment. I thought that wasn’t supposed to happen until pregnancy.

By: HistoricUpstart

HistoricUpstart — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:24:59 +0000

I just had my purple cocktail “wedding” dress made by a very sweet Etsy seller, precisely because I DID NOT want to ever set foot into a bridal dress shop. Every plan I’ve made for the event has been outside of the typical WIC on purpose, to avoid all that shit as much as possible. Thank gods no one has made any comments about how fat I am eight month away from the date. I would shout their asses down.

By: bluebears

bluebears — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:25:35 +0000

@tallgirl: I get so annoyed when people throw the word detox around. The BF’s sister and her girlfriend were over on labor day talking about how the next weekend they were staying in all weekend and “detoxing” I was like why do you have to stay in though? She was like well apparently you get pretty weak. (unspoken thought in my head, because you’re starving?) what she actually says, “because you know, you’re body is working so hard to CLEANSE” UGH! basic.biology.fail.

By: lfar

lfar — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:50:49 +0000

Hey! You can still dislike! Click the X in the top corner, and it’ll ask you why you don’t like it. I choose “offensive” on all the weight loss ads.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:34:12 +0000

@Spark: It sounds like you had a pretty nasty time preparing for your wedding. But I think saying that “weddings–of any kind–are a major patriarchy-intensifier” is a great exaggeration. A wedding doesn’t have to be any such thing. It’s the way we do it that make it that way. You can write your own vows, get an officiant whom you know and trust, hold it at a time and place that’s meaningful for you and your intended. If a couple wants to have a public celebration to celebrate the formalizing of their coming together, why not?

The thing is, we women have got to stop being suckered. We can’t stop the wedding-industrial complex overnight, but we can think seriously about what a wedding means to us, and we can decline to participate in the spending spree in which we’re encouraged to indulge. We can’t control the whole industry, but we can control ourselves.

By: elibard

elibard — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:39:42 +0000

@BeckySharper – geez, I’d blocked that out! You’re totally right! Thank you once again for being my memory-keeper, and keeper of the righteous flame. Glad I never went back to that seamstress.

@WaltzingMatilda – you rock/ed.

By: Poppy

Poppy — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:46:30 +0000

Whenever those types of ads come up (lose weight in five days! get abs of steel!) I click the x in the corner and label it “offensive”. The only ads I get now are for tax-refund companies and competitions for Black-Eyed Peas tickets (which feature Fergie bending over in tight pants…)