Once upon a time, I did use the “stop generalising” response in a face to face discussion on an issue I can’t even remember.. after the discussion I found myself replaying the arguments in my head about the issue, and came to the realisation that whilst phenomena A may not apply to each and every woman, it does apply to some. Given the constraints of language and the difficulty of defining (see Plato and the Socratic method for a demostration), generalisations can be helpful in communicating.. also the importance of understanding perspectives and contexts..

I agree with your example and what you have to say about it. Although for me what is the most bothersome in discussions (or attempts to shut down -) about the sex industry is the way in which male entitlement to female bodies gets disappeared, when it becomes about whether any particular woman is there voluntarily or not.

I think it’s possible, and necessary, to refrain from infantilizing women who are in the sex industry – whether it be by dismissing their choice or pitying their powerlessness when forced – without ignoring what is true for *all* women in the sex industry – they are there because males require sexual access to some women’s bodies at all times.

Without that requirement, no one would ever be forced, and a much smaller number of us would be able to make enough money to voluntarily do it for a living. The fact that I personally have at times benefited from that requirement by choosing something that was more appealing to me than other jobs at the time – that has zero bearing on whether the requirement exists, and is thus of zero use in ending that requirement.

It is not a problem to me that any given woman may enjoy being in the sex industry. It is a problem for me – and for female born people as a class – that male people are entitled to the use of female bodies whether some women are on board or not.

Yes.

This is why I have a problem with the idea of “I choose my choice!”. It’s sometimes used to argue that certain behaviors or actions, since they are chosen (and we have a right to choose what we do in our own lives), are not nevertheless ethically or societally problematic. Prostitution is a great example, at least as I see it (and I might get flamed here, but oh well): A minority of women might find it empowering, but 90% of prostitutes have a sexual trauma in their past, and many who do it do it either because of lack of other options, to feed an addiction, or because they are forced into it. And on a purely theoretical level, the idea of selling your body (and thus literally turning yourself into a commodity) has issues for me.

I think you should be able to discuss this on a macro level without it being understood as an attack on individual sex workers, but a lot of people shut down any discussion with accusations of ‘(slut-)shaming’, which is not what it is actually about.

/Rant. Sorry!

Word up. (Is that allowed here?) I’ve started and stopped this comment a few times, but there really isn’t much more to say.

@bellacoker, no, it’s not just you. I’ve heard that too. (most recently, when I rented the Torchwood DVDs, “Only someone who’s bluffing ever says they aren’t,” season 2, episode 1 — came to mind as soon as I read your comment.)

For example, when the boss comes up and says: I don’t want to leave you with more work… She is saying: I want to leave you with more work. Etc.

So, when (in the course of a feminist argument) someone trots out “I’m not like that!” what I hear is: “Oh, shit! I’m like that!”

That might just be my experience.