Swallow whatever you’re drinking right now because this one’s a doozy. A Louisiana justice of the peace refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple, citing their alleged short-lived unions and the pain it will inevitably cause their children. Surprise, surprise, JoP Keith Bardwell is not racist:
I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way. … I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.
He lets his black “friends” use his toilet! He also once spit on a black man who was on fire. That’s all the proof I need. You see, it’s other people’s racism that poses a problem. Bardwell said:
There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage. I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.
And everyone knows reproduction is not possible outside of marriage. Tell it to President Obama.
You can’t protect people from racism by perpetuating racism. I heard my grandmother use that excuse once, when talking about my aunt’s brother’s biracial son. “He’s gonna have a hard time. People should stick with their own.” He’s going to have a hard time because of people like you!
The American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana has filed a complaint with the Louisiana Judiciary Committee. I wish the couple all the happiness in the world. And their future kids too.
I don’t want to get all generaliz-y, but it seems anytime anyone is in the news talking about how they are not racist it’s a pretty good indication that they are incredibly racist. I think we should start calling people out for other social transgressions. I would like to see interviews with Wall Street executives where they try to convince us all that they are not greedy, etc., etc.
Vomit!
Guess who won’t be a justice of the peace much longer?
Whatever happened to just minding your own business and letting other people decide how to live their own lives? Cases like this and all the opposition to gay marriage really make me wonder why people, if they can’t learn real tolerance, can’t at least manage to stay out of what doesn’t concern them.
“He’s going to have a hard time because of people like you!”
Brilliant!
A friend on facebook just posted a link to this article all, this is fucked up and some asshole (I don’t know him) wrote:
“although it’s crazy that he brings his personal feelings into his public office he has a mildly sensible and valid point though it shouldn’t be up to him to make everyone conform to his thoughts and feelings. counseling any couple is useful but simply saying something isn’t going to work because of how it looks is wrong…. but i’m also not expecting anyone to conform.”
first what? second its amazing that this asshole has the balls to say the guy is making SENSIBLE AND VALID POINT!!!
And, as someone noted on the comments page from the original story, it’s not like an interracial kid could, you know, grow up to become President or something.
It’s shocking to me how cavalierly we treat our justice system. Any fool who’s not drooling into his collar can be elected as a justice of the peace-no legal training necessary, and the training they get (at least here) is hardly extensive. Sure, they don’t have to handle complicated issues of law but still, how about showing some level of education and ability to think situations through in an impartial manner? This champion of Southern justice sounds like he wears the white hood on the bench-even his wife knows that he’s perfectly willing to refuse to enforce the law.
We currently have 2 people running for judge of the Common Pleas court (the county trial level) who have been rated as not recommended by the county bar association. We think harder about football players than we do about judges.
I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.
I should have followed your advice. I about choked. I must live in a bubble of idealistic love and hugs.
Doesn’t he know keeping children from being born makes Baby Jesus cry? His chapter of the white supremacist movement must be behind in their scripture readings.
wait . . . you can only have babies if you’re married? Woohoo sexytimes for everyone!
in other news, there’s so much fail in this guy he should just implode.
He lets his black “friends” use his toilet!
If he let me use his toilet, I would shit on his bathroom floor.
Many of the comments over on Jez really (didn’t) surprise me.
There was one commenter who said [paraphrasing] ” A man I once had a conversation with said he is against interracial marriages.” The commenters were shocked to hear that the man in question was black. As if blacks and other minorities who are against interracial relationships are unicorns.
The second was from a commentator who said [paraphrasing] “My dad is against interfaith marriages but not interracial marriages, it’s still no okay but it’s better than being racist. But he would be ok with a conversion.” The woman’s father was Jewish by the way. It’s like saying it’s better to be racist than homophobic.
But everyone, listen…he has “piles” of black friends! PILES!
llevinso — Yes. In addition to all the other insanity, his use of the word “piles” to describe how many black friends he has was particularly horrifying and telling.
I know! What was this man thinking?
“I let each of them pee in my bathroom and then I put them back in their appropriate pile. I have black piles, hispanic piles, asian piles…but I never mix the piles because, you know…”
This whole thing horrifies me. But unfortunately doesn’t surprise me.
@ Dirty Laundy: Are you really saying that the Jewish dad who is against interfaith marriages is the same thing as a racist or a homophobe?
Dirty Laundry, I obvs don’t know the motives of this particular man, but many Jews are “against” interfaith marriage because interfaith marriage –> assimilation –> no more Jews. There aren’t that many of us left so we’re a little sensitive about the matter.
How quaint that he thinks only married people have kids.
@pedimd- Yes, depending on his views of other religions v.s his own. There are plenty of Jews who believe the Muslim or any non Judaic religion is garbage.
@Spark- Well I’m not Jewish and I can sort if understand wanting to preserve a sense of your culture and religion but to say you are against people in your own family entering into an interfaith marriage, does not sit well with me. And the fact that these families are only accepting if the person converts to me is like saying “I can’t really accept your relationship unless you change what you believe in.”
@Dirty Laundry: Obviously, there are assholes in every group who hate people who are not “like them.”
However, I think there’s a big difference between members of minority groups objecting to “mixing” because they’re trying to avoid assimilation and preserve their culture and members of the dominant group objecting to “mixing” because they think the minority group is “garbage.”
@Spark & DirtyLaundry: I am a Jew, and the child of an interfaith marriage, and it most definitely does not sit well with me at all.
Jews have married non-Jews for millenia–studies of our DNA prove it–and the anti-assimilation movement (aka “OMG, keep your shiksa away from my son!”) is a relatively new phenomenon in our history, It’s ridiculous, IMO, that a people who’ve been “othered” for most of their history, now self-selectively “other” themselves when it comes to our relationships with non-Jews.
But I think racism/bigorty is racism/bigotry regardless of the reasons behind it, religious or otherwise. I would never say categorically that I wouldn’t marry a black man because I want to preserve my family’s whiteness, so it’s equally wrong for me to say that I would never marry a Gentile in order to preserve my family’s Jewishness.
I haven’t said that I won’t ever marry a Gentile in order to preserve my family’s Jewishness, but I have decided to try dating only Jewish guys. I want a Jewish family and a Jewish household. Sure, maybe some guy would convert to marry me, or be willing to give up his Gentile traditions to make a Jewish family with me, but if the positions were reversed, I wouldn’t want to to that, so how could I ask someone else to do it? I figure the easiest way to avoid those kinds of cultural conflicts is to just marry a Jewish guy in the first place. I don’t think that makes me a racist or a bigot.
@pedimd: I don’t think it makes you a racist or a bigot to say that you would prefer to marry someone of your own ethnic group for reasons of shared cultural history/religion, etc.
But the anti-assimilation movement is much more overtly racist, telling Jews that they’re participating in their own genocide if they marry non-Jews. They even say this if the non-Jewish spouse agrees to raise any children as Jews (which my mother did). The anti-assimilation movement focuses on maintaining ethnically pure bloodlines, and as such, is inherently racist. This is why all progressive forms of Judaism have backed away from it.
@Becky – To be fair, it does say in the Torah that we should keep ourselves distinguished from the cultures around us. However, we’re supposed to do so by following kashrut — I’d be interested to see how many of the people who are extremely opposed to intermarriage also eat bacon.
Also, I maintain that Jews wanting to marry other Jews to preserve Jewishness is more like a person of color wanting to marry within his/her ethnic group than a white person. Even though it’s arguably still prejudiced, the power dynamic is different — after all, we do live in a country where a Supreme Court justice just argued that the cross isn’t religious, really, and can represent people of all faiths.
Regardless, preserving Jewishness should certainly focus on the religious and cultural aspects rather than the ethnic. It’s absurd to pretend that we have one pure ethnic line, anyway. Both my parents are Jewish, and I have dark eyes and tan and my brother has blue eyes and burns to a crisp. Yep, totally pure.
@Dirtylaundry – Um, I’m not denying your experience, but I’ve never met a Jew who thinks all religions except Judaism are garbage (although I do know a lot of Jews who think that all religions, Judaism included, are garbage). Like pedimd said, I’m sure they exist, but your sample set might not exactly be representative.
I was not aware there was a formal Jewish anti-assimilation movement that focused on “ethnically pure bloodlines.” I just tried googling it but didn’t get very far. Can you tell me where to find more information? Also, what do you mean by “progressive forms of Judaism?” Like, not Orthodox?
Becky, you can’t equate preserving whiteness with preserving Jewishness. Whiteness is a racist construct, and Jewishness is a cultural identity that’s on the decline demographically. I don’t think it’s fair to paint concerns about assimilation–particularly post-genocide–as inherently bigoted. (Though maybe it’s inherently bigoted to claim any national/ethnic identity at all? Hmm.)
For the record, I’m all for diluting the Ashkenazi bloodline. It’s dangerously inbred.
The topic of intermarriage is so hugely difficult and potentially hurtful that I’m reluctant to get too involved here. But I will say that both my husband and I hope that our children will marry Jewish and raise their kids as Jews. But if they don’t marry someone Jewish, I hope they talk long and honestly before deciding how to raise their kids. I’ve seen too many people put off deciding until they actually have a kid, and then it can get very unpleasant.
@pedimd: By “progressive Judaism” I mean everyone who’s not Orthodox, but particularly the Reform and Reconstructionist movements, who constitute the vast majority of Jews in the US (the Conservative movement is liberalizing fairly rapidly, although they’re still pretty anti-intermarriage). Reform Judaism has a very open policy of allowing non-Jewish spouses to belong to congregations, and most Reform rabbis perform marriages between Jews and non-Jews–the idea being that the only way to combat assimilation is to allow more people in rather than kicking people out. Alan Dershowitz is a leading proponent of this and wrote: “A half-Jewish grandchild who is proud of his or her Jewish heritage is preferable, from a Jewish perspective, to a grandchild who completely rejects it . . . If we cannot fight our children’s mixed marriages, we must try and get these children to join us.”
@Spark: Well, no, Jews aren’t a race, so maybe “racism” isn’t the right term. I use it because to me the whole preoccupation with bloodlines and people “looking Jewish” has a lot in common with good ol’ fashioned racism. But the whole push for ethnic purity and seeing Jewishness as an single ethnicity is entirely a construct. There are Jews of every race and ethnicity, and yet we persist in thinking of ourselves in racial terms–not wanting to marry non-Jews for reasons of bloodlines is one of the many ways it manifests. There are some Jewish communities–the Syrian Jews, for example–who are so closed to outsiders that they won’t accept marriage to non-Jews even if those non-Jews undergo Orthodox conversion.
@Spark: I see you’ve met my extended family.
@baraqiel: Kashrut is just an example of separateness. But the real reason was (and is) that we are supposed to live by a more rigorous moral standard than those around us. The things we do, like kashrut and circumcision, that distinguish us from our neighbors, come from that underlying reasoning.
Of course, this more demanding moral standard is observed more often in the breach. We Jews need to concentrate on that little matter.
Notice how the Jews have taken over the thread. We do that. Watch out-your banks and media are next. /grin/
@mischiefmanager: Shabbat shalom!
Reform has moved away from a lot of those theological expressions of separateness so that we don’t appear to be claiming that our religion/people are superior to everyone else. On the other hand, they’re now starting to encourage a return to kashrut. So separate is good sometimes and bad sometimes. Go figure.
@Becky: Wow, I’ve never heard someone say that it’s important to look Jewish. Are you sure they’re just not jealous that you don’t? (Not that I know what you look like). I haven’t come across the kinds of arguments you’re describing, and would never defend them. We (as in planet earth) should give up on the term “race” altogether already.
@BeckyS: and to you!
I like the idea of endorsing a separate, more demanding moral standard. Really, our society doesn’t demand enough of us morally. Just think of lashon hara (gossip, to you non-Jews). Half our our mass media would collapse overnight without celebrity gossip and reality and talk shows on which people are encouraged to attack each other verbally.
I imagine that the kashrut thing in Reform is as much an exercise as a purposeful behavior. That is, it makes us think about what we’re eating and why we’re eating it (or not), and mindfulness is a necessary first step to moral behavior. If they can keep it that way and not reduce it to a fetish the way the right-wingers do, more power to them.
Why bother managing other people’s perceptions that we think we’re superior? Someone is always going to think that we’re secretly trying to take over the world. May as well embrace and take pride in our “otherness.”
@Spark: Spend 5 minutes with me and a roomful of Jews and you will hear it at least once. SRSLY. It’s the story of my life. I’m naturally blonde, have blue eyes and fair skin. I cannot TELL you how many times I have been told “You can’t be Jewish” or “You’re Jewish? No you’re not!” And this despite the fact that I have the Jewiest first and last name ever. Some of my whitey genes come from my English/German mother, I have plenty from my Ashkenazi father (my paternal grandmother’s family are primarily red-haired and blue-eyed). I find the lookism is particularly acute among New York Jews–they simply can’t let go of the idea that you need to have dark hair (preferably curly), brown eyes and a generously-sized nose to actually be Jewish. God forbid you look like a shiksa—seductive succubus and predator in search of Nice Jewish Boys. I’ve had women give me the stink eye AT MY SHUL for talking with single Jewish men, simply because they assumed from my looks that I wasn’t Jewish.
Argh, it really makes me nuts. Can you tell?
@pedimd: Toning down the superiority/specialness theology isn’t done to keep other people from thinking that we’re snobs. It’s in keeping with Reform Judaism’s belief that all humans are equal in the eyes of God, and it’s wrong to believe that we’re somehow more favored by God than non-Jews. I like it–Reform Judaism is completely gender egalitarian for the same reason.
But why shouldn’t we think we are special? I mean, you go to temple because you like it and think it’s the best way to worship, right? And you don’t want to convert to some other religion because you like being Jewish. And I assume that people who attend various kinds of churches also think their way is the best, too. I just have to wonder if those other people spend time worrying that they shouldn’t feel “more favored” or if they just accept it as natural and right and it’s just us Jews who concentrate on not being too superior.
I don’t go to synagogue because I think it’s the best way to worship, so much as it’s the right way for me to worship. I don’t think there’s anything about it that’s inherently more worthy or holy than going to church or worshipping at a Buddhist shrine.
And I don’t think I’m special in the sense that I’m better than other people in God’s eyes. I think it’s very important to believe that all human beings are equal in God’s eyes. Most of the evil caused by religion is caused by people believing that God is on their side and God champions them over the “other.” Given our history, I believe Jews should be especially aware of that and avoid practicing it themselves.
And frankly, the sooner Christians and Muslims get on board with that idea, the better off we’ll all be.
@Becky – well, that’s definitely messed up. And it’s so ridiculous! I’ve known a ton of Jews with fair coloring. And, if I do say so myself, I have a very prim button nose, while my boyfriend (whose ancestry is pure Anglo all the way back to a famous pre-Civil War abolitionist) has quite the schnoz.
The thing is, marrying a Jew is no guarantee of anything. I’ve known highly observant children of mixed marriages and I’ve also known people whose parents (both Jews) sent them to Jewish day school who have now forsworn the whole religion. I think that nowadays, people are going to find their own way with religion — parental pressure can only go so far if they aren’t willing to actually cut ties and sit shiva if you marry outside the faith. I mean, my grandparents sent my uncle to a kibbutz to find a nice Jewish girl and he came back engaged to a Dutch Christian.
I wonder if we’re having this conversation about Jews and interfaith marriage instead of about people of color and interracial marriage because interfaith marriage has some similar issues but in a less fraught milieu. I went to a city public school system and knew several interracial kids who really had a hard time figuring out where they fit in (and they weren’t the only ones — the word “oreo” was a commonly heard pejorative when I was in middle school). (Alternately, it could just be wholesale privilege derailing.) The question of policing communities is a really hard one. I want identifying as Jewish to actually signify something, and I don’t believe that something is compatible with also identifying as Christian. But who am I to say that someone has to choose half their heritage to identify with and give up the other half? And that could only possibly be multiplied when the heritages in question are races, and not religions — after all, you can convert from one religion to another.
Ugh, I’m sorry, I’m really tired and should clarify that last paragraph: what I mean to say is that when we decide what the limits of a community are, in a society as mixed and diverse as ours, we’re going to exclude some people, and that’s bad. It’s easier to talk about these things in reference to Judiasm because being recognized as a Jew in society is more of a choice on the part of the individual and less a construction on the part of others (although it isn’t wholly one or the other, normally). Race, of course, is much more complicated, and even if you decide what your own racial identity should be, if no one else agrees with you, you don’t get to act out that identity. We police the behavior boundaries of race when we shouldn’t. Judaism is a belief system among other things; whiteness should not be a belief system but very many people are very invested in identifying whiteness with a set of behaviors and beliefs. So, in my (very limited and outside-observer) experience, what I’ve seen is children of interracial marriages being forced to decide, firstly, to choose “one or the other”, and secondly, to make that choice based on which race people think their behavior conforms to more. And THAT is fucked up.
Good topic for Shabbat morning!
@pedimd: The concept of chosenness is, of course, a very fraught one for contemporary Jews, at least those of us who want to show respect for non-Jews in our society. I grew up reform, belonged to a conservative congregation for about 15 years, and left there to join a reconstructionist one. Each of these looks at chosenness differently. The reconstructionist prayerbook rejects it entirely, but it includes the traditional aliyah blessing, and when I have an aliyah, that’s the one I use.
I see chosenness as a particular, not to say superior, relationship with God that carries with it a clearly defined and rigorous set of moral imperatives. For me, it has nothing to do with the way any other religion relates to God. They all have their own ways, all of which are equally valid, at least up to the point at which they start pushing it on people outside their own community. The idea of chosenness, which came about in the context of a polytheistic world, rankles with other religions, particularly the other 2 monotheistic ones. But they need to understand that the idea wasn’t directed at them. We haven’t been great at clarifying that, although our history provides a good explanation as to why that is. Still, now is a good time to put it out there. We don’t have to hold on to that idea to support us in times of persecution any more, so it would be helpful all around to reframe the concept.
I’m not sure that better or worse are helpful terms in considering why people choose one spiritual practice over another. For the vast majority of us, practicing a religion or not is entirely a matter of choice, so it’s ultimately a question of what speaks to you. In reality, the differences have to do with the ways we relate to God; that is to say, they’re ritual and theological. But we all share the basic rules of behavior that we call the Noahide laws. And that’s really all that’s important, to me. The ways we choose to relate to God are between us and God. But the ways we relate to each other affect everyone. That’s why we are required, during the High Holidays, to seek forgiveness from other people before we can seek it from God.
Sermon over. Let’s go eat kichel!
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