I am home and feverish today so not up to my usual verbosity, but I happened to catch this new piece by Nell Scovell, a female comedy writer, on the Vanity Fair website this morning, regarding her experience working on Letterman. I’d urge you to read the whole thing, of course, but she answers some lingering questions:
Without naming names or digging up decades-old dirt, let’s address the pertinent questions. Did Dave hit on me? No. Did he pay me enough extra attention that it was noted by another writer? Yes. Was I aware of rumors that Dave was having sexual relationships with female staffers? Yes. Was I aware that other high-level male employees were having sexual relationships with female staffers? Yes. Did these female staffers have access to information and wield power disproportionate to their job titles? Yes. Did that create a hostile work environment? Yes. Did I believe these female staffers were benefiting professionally from their personal relationships? Yes. Did that make me feel demeaned? Completely. Did I say anything at the time? Sadly, no.
Now, heretofore I have not much cared about the Letterman thing, partially because I don’t really care about Letterman, and also because I didn’t really hear anyone claiming coercion. Like any feminist I kinda wish that high-powered men didn’t see fit to turn their workplaces into meat markets, but it’s not very high on my list of priorities. So I wrinkled my nose, and moved on. But Scovell is making an ancillary point I hadn’t thought of, which is how destructive that kind of atmosphere can be to women’s professional advancement just about anywhere:
I have a theory. An executive producer with an all-male writing staff once inadvertently revealed his deep, dark fear. While discussing a full-time position for me, he mused out loud, “I wonder if having a woman in the room will change everything.” Of course, what he really meant was: “I wonder if having a woman in the room will change me.” Male writers don’t want to be judged in the room. They want to be able to scarf an entire bag of potato chips while cracking fart jokes and making lewd comments without fear of feminine disapproval. But we’re your co-workers, not your wives. Crack a decent fart joke and, as professionals, we will laugh. And while writers do need to feel comfortable in order to make comedy, denying an entire class of people certain opportunities in order to preserve a way of life seems a tad antebellum. Plus, it’s been my experience that a room with a fairer sampling of humanity will always produce funnier material.
While I’m not sure I can get on board with the “we won’t change you, don’t worry, you can have your fart jokes” kind of reasoning – fart jokes aren’t the issue, the bullshit way men exclude and intimidate with their shitty sexified fratboy talk is – Scovell has hit the nail on the head. A female colleague of mine at work once remarked that when the elevator doors opened, she would often hear the group inside (if all male) fall silent, as though she had broken up the party. Small cues like that, dudes, are how you tell us you don’t think we get an equal share of the world. If you were making the kind of joke that would make a woman uncomfortable, the problem is not that she interrupted your fun. The problem is that you made the joke in the first place.
Burn. I love it.
Your last line hit the nail on the freakin’ head!
I agree with everything you said, but why are we not calling out the women who are actively deciding to sleep with their bosses?
It seems too simple to just blame the menz, because women are powerless and know not what they do.
I’m not so sure, Dirty Laundry. The first couple of women, yeah, but after it’s happened a couple of times, and the office environment has turned toxic, there can be a lot of unspoken (and some spoken) pressure. Some of those women might not have felt able to say no, might have felt like they’d be killing their careers if they said no. They were adults, but they choice to stand up for what’s right instead of doing what benefits them personally isn’t always so easy.
@DirtyLaundry. Tend to agree with Av0gadro, although not all workplace relationships between bosses and employees are because the woman felt she couldn’t say no. Men and women may be genuinely attracted to each other and if a relationship develops and that leads to advantages or benefits in the workplace not many people–male or female–are going to turn down those benefits.
Should they turn them down? Yes, ethically speaking. But in a hyper-competitive industry like television, people often take whatever advantage they can get and run with it.
No, no – I will not condemn a woman for being a self-interested rational actor. I will not condemn a woman for valuing her own advancement and security over the bonds of sisterhood, especially if she would have hit that anyway.
But I will condemn the head of a corporation who creates separate promotion ladders for men, for women who don’t sleep with their male coworkers, and for women who do sleep with their male coworkers.
@iiii: If someone is only getting the advancement because of the sexual relationship, that’s unethical. I have no problem condemning people who blatantly use sex or sexual relationships to give them an advantage over their co-workers. (I have seen young men do this as well in the female-dominated industry where I work).
Still, I agree with you that it’s not always a blatant quid-pro-quo, especially if–as you put it–”she would have hit that anyway.”
The whole idea of separate promotion ladders is completely wrong, but it should be pointed out that once the relationships start happening, it is tricky for a CEO or HR to start weighing and evaluating the individual relationships and workplaces for signs of advantages or disadvantages that result.
BeckySharper – I was actually responding to Dirty Laundry & should have said so.
My feeling is that no one should be sleeping with someone they have the power to hire, fire, or promote. As soon as bosses start with that, *all* personnel decisions become suspect.
It’s got little to do with sexual morality (not my business, not my problem) and everything to do with maintaining a productive workplace.
@iiii: but what Pilgram is critiquing is how that turns a business into a toxic work environment for women regardless if the woman who is sleeping with her boss is getting a promotion or not.
It’s not just about marginalizing women comedy writers–it’s about marginalizing women in the audience. The Daily Show writing staff is 100% male, I believe. There may be one woman. As a viewer, I can sense that the jokes are written by men, and over time, it’s really turned me off. I used to watch every day. Now I watch occasionally.