Social networking sites like Facebook have provided, along with the chance to get back in touch with people you haven’t seen in 10 or 20 years, an entirely new realm of the baffling, weird, and offensive that in early days would have flown under our radars. I’m filing this one under “Hmmm.”
Although we only swap vague good wishes, I am in touch with the woman who was my very first friend (that I remember…age 4 or so) via FB. Recently, she changed her profile picture to what appears to be a company logo that reads something like “Stayin’ Home is Awesome!” (I’m purposefully paraphrasing.) Not the greatest name for a company, but I was curious what sort of business it might be, so I snooped around a little, and best I can reckon it, it’s a somewhat dubious* sell-from-home kind of deal that trades in “natural” cleaning products, and appears to have been founded by and aimed at mothers of young/school age children. Okay, do the Avon/Mary Kay/Amway/Passion Party thing, make a few bucks that you don’t just turn over to the daycare center. I get that.
But the “Hmmm” part is the name. And not just the super-casz dropped “g” and forced cheerfulness of the exclamation point. Stayin’ home may be awesome!, but you’re not just “stayin’ home.” You’re working. You’re generating income. And I bet you’re still “makin’ dinner” and “runnin’ carpool” too, among a whole host of other stuff.
Why not “Bringin’ Home a Paycheck is Awesome!” or “Bein’ an Entrepreneuse is Awesome!”? Why not “Workin’ Twice as Hard as the Huzz is Awesome!”? Why soft-pedal (not petal, or peddle, or dear merciful jones, “pettle”) the WORK part? Is that to assuage the guilty consciences of mothers who want to stay at home, but need the dough or the stimulation (“I’m still Stayin’ Home!”), or to ease the minds of breadwinner husbands who don’t want their wives careers to outstrip or outearn their own?
Even besides the sketchiness, I’m not thrilled that a company is trying to woo women by lying to them and effectively discounting their time and effort in both the private and public spheres as simply part of “stayin’ home.” It’s work.
Just like “stayin’ home” is. (And frankly, like blogging is, too.)
*Dubious because they don’t make it clear what they’re selling or how the system works on their website, instead, they use a lot of weird-beard, feel-good sentiment about “living your values” (what values?) and “creating balance” in your life. Extra sketch: they ask you to call them for info, “because of the number of requests we get on a daily basis, we do NOT send information out via email.”
Bein’ Non-Threatenin’ Is Awesome!
we do NOT send information out via email.
cuz we DO want to coerce you with hard-sell tactics, and collect your phone number
This may be only tangentially related, but for my work I recently conducted hundreds of interviews in a country in Southern Africa, primarily with people who were quite poor and work in the informal economy. One of the questions I asked was what people did for a living. Almost all the men described themselves as being “businessmen,” by which they usually meant that they traded minerals or other items informally, by the side of the road etc. All the women I interviewed said that they never worked, but when I inquired further I found that they usually were engaged in multiple income generating activities such as raising and selling poultry, cultivating and selling vegetables, sewing, etc. I realize it is a completely different cultural context but it just struck me how often women fail to describe our work, even when it is clearly compensated, as work, whereas men tend to identify themselves as having a formal profession even when they are doing similar work to what the women were doing, even when it is on a very informal basis or even if they are not working at that moment. I think that in the case of your facebook friend and in the case of the folks that I interviewed, a lot of women still derive their identity from home, hearth, family where men derive theirs from work, earning, outsideness, etc. Even the “fathers as babysitters” meme in a strange way professionalizes and monetizes men’s domestic labor — comparing it to salaried child care. I hope that makes sense and it is germane.
PS, thank you for reminding me that “weird beard” exists.
JD Do you need to be vague about the country for some security or confidentiality reason? PS totally germane and interesting, as is the original post, PhD
Oh I am just being paranoid in case someone who knows me recognizes me. It was Zambia.
JD, that reminds me of one of my favorite feminist quotes:
“Women have worked, constantly, continuously, always and everywere, in every type of society, in every part of the world since the beginning of human time.”
–Heather Gordon Cremonesi
“Bein’ an Entrepreneuse is Awesome!”
The funny thing is, that might mean “prostitute”. I saw a long list of French words once where the masculine was just the word and the feminine implied prostitution…like, entertainer, delivery person, etc.
But yeah — I’d love to see a guy who works at home doing web design or some such talk about how “stayin’ home is awesome!”. My father is working from home right now — I’ll ask him if that’s his main opinion on the issue.
I agree with everyone, but just to add: I see a lot of ads for “businesses” that let you work from home, and the fact that you can do it at home is a selling point. For mothers without childcare, being able to generate an income at home IS awesome. Maybe I’m biased because I love staying at home, though unfortunately I’m still an amateur.
Of course, Spark. I have a number of friends who do work-at-home stuff and are very grateful for the income, the adult interaction, and the time they get w/ their little ones. My critique is how this company is discounting women’s labor on all fronts by pretending that staying home is all soap operas and snack time, and yet women’s true calling and the best thing evar, and also saying “but that’s not enough–now bring home the bacon, mama!” It’s exactly the mentality that leads to the second shift. There’s a “you go, girl!” ‘tude here that hides the “you have to do MORE to be considered enough” message. Raising kids and running a home is work. Selling (or whatver) is work. But put them together, and sell it as a hobby, since you’ve got so much free time? That stinks on ice. Also, it seems pyramid scheme-y to me. (PS: If you’re an amateur, what makes one a “professional” SAHM? Another kid? 5 years on the job? Blogging about it?)
Great example, JD. It’s the framing. And the fact that our culture is always already to negate, deny, belittle, or smear women’s efforts in the paid workforce, as baraqiel’s post points out.
@JD: you should write a blog or something, that sounds so interesting!
(back to the post) Yeah, I think its about the whole, “happy housewife” thing. Like, its a somewhat defensive (in my opinion) stance that some SAHMs take with the rest of the world at large because they perceive (and in some cases this perception is correct) that they are looked down on by others in the “real” workforce.
Oh, I just meant I’m an amateur because I love being at home (instead of the office, where I am now), but I haven’t figured out how to monetize couch-time. Bad joke. Anyway. I’ve noticed that a lot of “make money from home” ads are targeted at mothers. “NY Mom Makes $3000 a Week from Home!” Mom is always in the title. The internet seems to know my gender and where I live, and assumes I’m a mother who needs an income.
On top of underplaying women’s labor, I think the narrative compensates for social status anxiety. Like, “I might not have a career or high-status job, but that’s ok because staying home is awesome!”
oh this drives me insane, i work from home, I earn a salary equivalent to my husband who would certainly never describe me as a stay at home mum and yet tons of people, many of whom have known me all my life, say ‘oh it must be so nice to be at home with your kids not working’. I AM WORKING DAMN IT. I just happen to have a job that allows for flexible childcare. Arggghh.
It’s the Palinization of America. In a variety of ways.