Comments on: Wisdom from MoDo

By: Rachel from Moody Springs

Rachel from Moody Springs — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:13:31 +0000

So…this is the same woman who says feminism, (ie, women refusing to settle for what they are given,) is making women of these days less happy than they were back in the day…?

Um…yeah.

By: ahhhh-me

ahhhh-me — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:38:04 +0000

i found myself, a few years ago, settling in a steady job that i hated and a relationship i knew wasn’t “the one”. the job was one of those mindless retail things where you’re nice to about a thousand people every hour and then you collapse on your couch and think about the monkeys that work for you. the relationship, engagement really, was to a boy (not man) that seemed like it would work out ok. not great. just ok. i quit the job when i realized it’s time had past years before. found one that i love but is unsteady and that sometimes scares me. i quit the engagement when i realized that i was short changing myself. i’m currently dating a woman that makes me smile whenever i see her, say her name, think about her… i think the old saying about how you don’t know what you have until it’s gone works the other way around too. you don’t know what you could have until you have it. i didn’t know what i was missing. wouldn’t trade it for all the security in the world.

By: aspiringexpatriate

aspiringexpatriate — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:04:58 +0000

@Dziet_Sma: Damn! a) well at least you got to know someone who is still making stuff and b) I was hoping I could ask for their number, cause I wouldn’t mind interning if it got me into narrative features. I’ve been stuck in docs (which pays even when they have less money available-go figure). And I’m Los Angeles, so them’s the shakes.

By: Diziet_Sma

Diziet_Sma — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:23:07 +0000

@Nimue: I think the moral of that story is, you did the right thing.

By: Diziet_Sma

Diziet_Sma — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:12:41 +0000

@emilyanne @PHDork @BeckySharper @aspiringexpatriate @mischiefmanager: Thanks for your support! Wanna know the punchline?

I went to the meeting a couple hours ago, and we have a nice chat about my experience, yadda yadda yadda, and then the producer says “So, you don’t mind interning again?”; Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t work for free”; Her: “Oh, but we did say interns in the ad”; Me: “But I said in my email. . .”; awkward silence. Turns out she hadn’t read the email to the end. I grabbed my coat and said it was nice to meet them, good luck with the project and to get back in touch if any paid positions came up and got the hell out of there before I started shouting and kicking the furniture. Yeah, so, not quite the inspiring sticking-to-your-guns success story I’d hoped to share! But you know what, something else will come along. The priniciple holds – if we don’t value our time, no-one else will.

@aspiringexpatriate: I’m in New York.

By: Nimue

Nimue — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:25:23 +0000

I married a man I thought was ambitious and adventurous, only to find myself five years later married to a chronically underemployed addict. I settled for a long time, then realized I deserved better and needed to leave, and then he killed himself. I’m not sure what the moral to that story is, but I’ve learned that I can pick up the pieces and put together a life for myself.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:24:54 +0000

@Dziet_Sma: Go get ‘em, girl!

@Mirelle: If you have a Big Life, I think you lose a lot of chances of intimacy and connection with what’s around you. Being a real friend and a caretaker of your community are as valuable as anything else you can do in your life. Acting locally really is worth doing.

By: baraqiel

baraqiel — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:04:53 +0000

At the moment, I am settling for doing my work to a standard that is below my normal standard because I have too much to do it all well, but I’m fairly reconciled to that. I’m more worried about having to settle in the future. I’m worried about settling for a grad school program that I’m not really interested in or isn’t really suited to me to be near my boyfriend. I’m also worried about not getting into any programs I’m really interested in and having to settle anyway. Sometimes I’m worried that I’m settling for a career that I find mildly interesting but dependable instead of trying to do something that I absolutely love every day, but I think that’s mostly a function of being in undergrad and not doing the really cool things yet.

Sigh. Mostly I am worried about settling for a life that is not as awesome as I want my life to be. Probably this is a very senior-in-college type worry.

By: Mireille

Mireille — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:03:52 +0000

I guess settling is subjective. One might think I’m settling for living in a cheap apartment after losing my big condo, working at a job that pays less than my last job which I lost for reasons completely unrelated to my performance. But I’m happy, because I’ve spent the last few years trying to let go of as many of my materialistic impulses as I can. I guess I’ve gotten over any ideas of doing great things in my life and am happy to make a difference in the small circle of people whose lives I can touch. I’m happy with a small life, even though I may have felt like it was settling at one time. Maybe that’s just the cognitive dissonance talking, though.

By: Inny

Inny — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:21:50 +0000

I am settling for not fighting with the people in my house share, because I’m only staying for another two months and I really, really don’t want to move for that time.

Instead, I gave the guy who lectured me to not turn on the heater when my room freezing my cold. Kind of on purpose.

Guess who is not complaining about the heating being turned on anymore?