Comments on: A Room of One’s Own: Part One

By: A Room of One’s Own: Part Three - The Pursuit of Harpyness

A Room of One’s Own: Part Three - The Pursuit of Harpyness — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:02:00 +0000

[...] about all-women’s residences and the co-housing movement, but not the occasionally-fraught issue of living with our [...]

By: sarah.of.a.lesser.god

sarah.of.a.lesser.god — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:44:48 +0000

Well, I went to a women’s college the first time around, and I honestly loved that female-only space. Would I want to return to that now that I’m not in a dorm at Mount Holyoke? Actually, it’s possible. I don’t really need to worry about male visitors, and there can be a certain camaraderie.

As for roommates, I have never had one outside of college. I can have pretty intense social anxiety at times, and I get freaked out even by the prospect of living with a friend. I have a strong need for my own space, not a big space, but enough that I can be by myself and not raise any eyebrows when I hang around my laptop all day.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:09:36 +0000

Thanks for this piece, BeckyS. It was fun reading about everyone’s living experiences. I want to hang out with you all!

By: thelady

thelady — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:50:13 +0000

I loved this article! I’m so glad there are these options for women, it makes sense. I remember the Women Only floor at my dorm, and it seemed weird when I got to school, and plain ol smart when I left school.

I live with 3 kids, I’m divorced and I love it. The idea of going back to sharing my house with someone else, being a partner, and all those negotiations–I do it myself, it’s done, and I get on with my day. And I get to decorate the way I want. I’m in a No Compromises phase of my life, not saying it will stay that way, but I have options.
Congrats on having that lease, Becky. What power! And what options.

By: Endora

Endora — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:30:55 +0000

This is basically the living situation I have right now, but in a large, expensive European city rather than New York. Complete with being run by nuns and not having visitors allowed.

When I first came I thought it would be terrible and figured I would move asap, but now I’m considering giving up the apartment search. I’m probably only in this city till summer anyway, and my room is MUCH cheaper than anything else I’ve found, and the house is clean and very centrally located. Yeah, the thing about visitors isn’t ideal, but I can deal for all the other advantages it offers. And the nuns don’t force us to believe or go to church, and all the other girls are like me – trying to save money but perfectly normal 20-something-year-olds.

By: baraqiel

baraqiel — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:59:55 +0000

I like living with someone. When I’m alone for too long I get antsy. But then again, I’m still a college student in a dorm. I do have a roommate horror story, but it’s about…a conflict of philosophies rather than one of cleanliness, etc (as in, “I am personally offended that you don’t support our president, you must cease to hold this view” type conflict, back in 2006).

Living in a dorm has made me vow that whatever living style I choose in the future, I will always live in a place where I am allowed to keep cats and don’t have to share a bathroom with strangers.

By: Mackey

Mackey — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:27:46 +0000

I enjoy living with other people and being by myself. At the moment, largely due to financial things, I’m sharing a place with the bf, and a friend from work. Living with 2 extra people has its ups and downs, especially in the bill paying, rent department, and at the moment because of uni end of semester, the place isn’t looking the best.

Though, I do lean more towards the living by myself, even though I am from a large family (more than 5 siblings).
I remember whilst living at home, whilst I really enjoyed the activity and the company, if I could swing it, I would try to stay home when everyone was going out for a family thing.
It was bliss, especially when all I could hear was the night noises from the crickets and dragonflies.

By: aspiringexpatriate

aspiringexpatriate — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:58:29 +0000

Oh, I forgot to even comment on the topic at hand. I got distracted by specifics. Granted, I can’t really comment on female-specific urban dormitories. Sounds like a deal though. I can however, comment on the choice of titular reference. Everyone throws around phrases like ‘life-changing’ about every run of the mill book, film, music, whathaveyou. I refuse to toss it around willy-nilly, but I think Woolf’s ‘Room Of One’s Own’ really hit me when I read it in college. Maybe it simply made me realize something I always knew, or maybe I just loved the way she wrote, but this is the one book I can think of where I’d use to phrase ‘life changing’. Frankly, I can’t think of a better compliment.

By: aspiringexpatriate

aspiringexpatriate — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:17:02 +0000

I think big families does tend to incline one to be more used to compromise. That said, I’m from a big family and think I’m easy going, as long as someone tells me when I’m absent-mindedly doing something annoying. My current flatmate is from a four person family, which seems big enough to me, but I guess they’re a bit more passive aggressive, so it’s been interesting trying to figure out compromises without much verbal/blatant communication.

By: Tall-in-Heels

Tall-in-Heels — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:53:20 +0000

I’ve had good roommates who I loved living with, and bad ones who I didn’t. I also really enjoyed living alone, and as I’ve written here before, I sometimes miss the fierce sense of independence I felt then. Moving in with my fiance was a huge adjustment for me. HUGE. But I am thoroughly adjusted now, and can’t imagine him not being around.

As for all-women’s residences like those described in the article, my first thought was that I wish we didn’t live in a world where some women felt the need to segregate themselves by gender to achieve a sense of safety and peace in their living environment. But in light of the current reality, I think these places serve a legitimate purpose. If I was a young woman starting out in an unfamiliar city, this might appeal to me. But I suspect the dorm-like atmosphere would get off-putting eventually.