Photo via Daily Mail.
Yesterday, the Daily Mail–which loves to showcase women bashing feminism–devotes some space to a recent outing by Fay Weldon at a literary event in Richmond, England.
Weldon made her mark with bitingly satirical novels like The Life and Loves of a She Devil and Worst Fears, in which her heroines fight back, often spectacularly, against the Patriarchy. These days, however, it seems that the 78-year old Weldon is turning into that formerly radical but increasingly loony aunt you’re afraid to invite to dinner for fear she’ll embarrass you in front of your friends (see also: Greer, Germaine). When she spoke about feminism and progress at the Book Now festival, Weldon’s comments were strangely all over the map…but she was pretty much in Wrongville the entire time.
Weldon told a literature festival that while the sexual revolution of the Sixties had ended the requirement for women to provide ‘sexual, childcare and cooking services’, the ‘downside’ of feminism was a new breed of women. Women have been turned into unhappy ‘wage-slaves’ by the march of feminism, according to one of the movement’s pioneers.
‘The downside of feminism is that women are now expected to go out to work, which some women would rather do than looking after the children anyway.
Wait, that’s the downside? Is she actually arguing that it was better when women weren’t expected to work outside the home?
‘You do feel some qualms for these women who actually have to shove their children’s arms into clothes at five o’clock in the morning and get them off to the nursery.’
Yeah, I feel some qualms that they’re not offered better childcare options. This line of thinking also completely ignores the fact that regardless of whether a child’s mom works or not, from age 5-18 the kid has to get up in the morning and leave mommy anyway–to attend school.
Weldon should also remember that some women are not mothers. Us childless ladies simply must find something to do with all that spare time–like develop a satisfying, lucrative career.
‘Once it was only the men who were wage-slaves, and now it’s the men and the women too. You know, I’d really rather blame capitalism.
Blame it for what? Capitalism contributes to many evils, but allowing women to earn a living–just like men!–is not one of them.
‘Probably 20 per cent of women are worse off and the enormous number are better off.”
Huh? I have no idea where Weldon pulled that completely arbitrary “20 percent” from.
I was curious about why if the “enormous number” of women are better off, Weldon is handwringing and griping about how feminism has failed. Apparently it’s because feminism’s not for everyone! In fact, there are some women who are better off without it!
‘If you’re an intelligent, competent and healthy person it’s the most wonderful thing,’ she said.
‘If you have no aspirations and don’t want to do anything except exist, than perhaps the pre-feminist world was better. There’s never a perfect solution. There’s just the least worst.
‘And least worst is feminist society, which is more or less what we’re getting now. And people are on the whole happier than they were before. Although everybody’s much more tired.’
Okay, first of all, the “feminism makes women tired” argument is pure bullshit. Women have always been tired, because we have always worked–full-time and without vacations–in every home, in every society, in every culture since the dawn of humankind. Feminism just means that now we can be tired and paid.
As for the women who “have no aspirations and don’t want to do anything except exist,” I think Weldon’s assuming that women in the pre-feminist era were basically okay with their lot because they lacked any goals or dreams. This is also bullshit. The vast majority did not lack aspirations. They lacked opportunity.
What I find especially offensive about that statement, though, is its elitism and ableism–presumably Weldon expects that women who aren’t “intelligent, happy, and competent” are better off without feminism because they’d dumbly accept their powerlessness and let someone else take charge. Unfortunately, the reality of unhappy, unintelligent, incompetent women “without aspirations who don’t want to do anything but exist” is that their existence usually involves exploitation, marginalization, a low-paying job, and a constant struggle to get by. Weldon’s happy to slag off those women by saying point-blank that feminism has nothing to offer them, and, in fact, they’d be better off living in the bad old days when empowerment wasn’t even an option.
So much for sisterhood.
If you read the whole article–don’t miss the preposterous bit where Weldon talks about how sex kitten Katie Jordan is a positive role-model–you’ll see that Weldon’s opinions of feminism are weirdly contradictory, condescending, negative and illogical, even as she admits to the undeniable fact that feminism has been good for women overall. Is she disenchanted with feminism because she thought it would create a utopia? Or is she simply one of those women for whom progress was less about empowering all of us and more about helping her and “intelligent, happy, competent” women like her, who best know how to exploit it?
I wonder if some of these “Second-Wave” Feminists feel betrayed by the state of gender relations today and, in their frustration, point the finger at feminism?
Like, we/women/feminism didn’t do enough to fight the patriarchy, so it’s women’s/feminism’s fault. I mean, many women do have a history of expecting perfection and blaming themselves (because of gender conditioning), and maybe this is some weird expression of that? I feel like there are quite a few Second Wave feminists who say some awfully anti-feminists things, and I am just trying to understand why.
Wow, way to dig that “feminism is for the white middle class” trench deeper, Faye. And she’d “rather blame capitalism”? What’s stopping her?
In general, that’s a hot mess. Bad thinking, bad organization. Talking out of both sides of her mouth. Feminism makes us wage slaves and women don’t want it. But it’s better than before. “Least worst?” Damning with faint praise. Were she in my public speaking class, I don’t think I could give her better than a D. Did she not have anyone to look over her crazycakes rant before she delivered it?
@rainy-day: I feel like there are quite a few Second Wave feminists who say some awfully anti-feminists things, and I am just trying to understand why.
I’m mystified by that one myself. I wonder if it’s that people naturally become more conservative/cranky as they age, or that they’re irritated by young feminists (for which, to a certain extent, I couldn’t blame them). When I listen to this kind of anti-feminist crap from Weldon, or Greer, or Peg “Free Roman Polanski” Yorkin, I really do wonder WTF is up? Because if a man had said those things, they’d take his head off.
@PhDork: I kept going over that article to try to figure out whether there was a context issue and the Mail was playing fast and loose with the quotes (always a possibility with them). But regardless of context, there was no mistaking the wrongness/offensiveness of what she was saying. Also, her remarks seemed to have a weird, rambling, inherently contradictory quality that makes me think maybe Fay Weldon shouldn’t be speaking extemporaneously anymore.
That’s not the downside of feminism. It’s the downside of capitalism, and it doesn’t just affect women.
This kind of “women have to work now” argument drives me mad. There have always been women who had to work. They just used to be poor. Now, higher class women have to work too. While that probably wouldn’t have happened without feminism, I’m a lot more inclined to blame capitalism (and really, unrestrained consumerism, not capitalism).
Further, speaking as a woman who has always lacked ambition (although I wouldn’t say I’m not intelligent, competent, and healthy), I’m still pretty sure I’m worlds better off with feminism, what with the better treatment, recourse against being beaten by my husband, and reproductive choices. Does she really think feminism was just about getting jobs? Because I don’t work outside the home, but I consider the fact that my husband does the cleaning to be a feminist victory.
@Av0gadro: You’re absolutely right. Working class women have always…y’know… worked. And for all working women, feminism has attacked some of the abuses of unrestrained capitalism; we now have laws on the books that guarantee equal pay, maternity leave, recourse from harrassment, etc. (although Lord knows, we have to keep fighting those fights even with the laws in place).
Av0gadro, this is so true. There was employment legislation enacted in the UK in the mid-19th century (known as the Factory Acts), which restricted women’s working hours so they would have plenty of time to do every fucking thing around the house, as well as a mere 12 hour shift in a factory.
I have to say (for what is internet commenting, without anecdote cited as evidence!) a lot of the now-bitter, formerly-progessive, middle-aged-and-older people I know personally, cannot grasp intersectionality. They seem too adjusted to thinking of certain issues as separate.
You guys, I’m sad to say that Weldon sounds sort of like how my mother sounds these days. Lately we’ve had several conversations where she’s gone on about how sorry she feels for today’s mothers because they have to work on top of everything else women are expected to take care of. Rather than coming to the conclusion that this just means we have to push for even greater change – e.g., changing work environments to be more parent friendly (verses just mom-friendly), and changing gendered expectations concerning home and child rearing to move towards greater equality in those spheres – she has been defaulting to the stance that maybe things were better (read: easier) the way they used to be. This from the woman who indoctrinated me with the idea that it was imperative for me to have my own career, and to be financially independent.
In trying to understand this shift in her thinking, I’ve considered the following:
(1) She’s so far past that time in her life when she was a seriously frustrated housewife who wasn’t allowed to go to college, or do anything other than cook, clean, raise kids, and be a wife that she doesn’t really remember anymore how truly stifling having no options is. She’s looking back with rose-colored glasses, so to speak. Granted, it’s sometimes easier to have fewer choices. Choices invariably beget consequences. Sometimes the “right” choice is not obvious. It can be hard. I think she focuses in retrospect so much on the “ease” of not having to make choices and face consequences that she forgets the ugliness and frustration of having your role predetermined to a great extent.
2) I believe she thought that if women were just able to break free of those housewife or interchangeable-gal-in-the-secretary-pool-type roles, we’d achieve equality and everything would be hunky dory. Getting more women into college and on the career path wasn’t the panacea she thought it would be. I think it frustrates her, and that frustration has altered her vision. Career looks to her now more like yet another burden that women must shoulder. And after 60-some years on this planet, and having been through the patriarchy gauntlet in almost every possible way, she’s tired and wants things to be easier. Which takes us back to point 1 – having less choice can be “easier” in some ways.
I recently lost my shit with her. It’s extraordinary to me how she can think this way despite the fact that her feelings of frustration and stagnation pushed her into fleeing one marriage to a jerk, and her lack of options led her straight to another man “saviour” who turned out to be an abuser. I understand that things are far from perfect these days, and women still do bear extraordinary burdens, but to say that maybe things were better before feminism? Come on, mom! Anyways, sorry for the tome. This is something that’s been frustrating and perplexing me.
Tall(girl): “Granted, it’s sometimes easier to have fewer choices. Choices invariably beget consequences. Sometimes the ‘right’ choice is not obvious. It can be hard.”
I think that’s it exactly. Choices beget consequences, and once you’re free to choose (not to say that women are completely “free” in that way), then you have to take responsibility for those choices–no pawning it off on the laws or your spouse or whomever.
ETA: Yes, I suppose it’s “easier” to not fight, but I don’t think not fighting is “easy.” It may be the path of least resistance culturally, but it takes a considerable toll on women regardless.
@Tall: Granted, it’s sometimes easier to have fewer choices. Choices invariably beget consequences. Sometimes the “right” choice is not obvious. It can be hard. I think she focuses in retrospect so much on the “ease” of not having to make choices and face consequences that she forgets the ugliness and frustration of having your role predetermined to a great extent.
DING DING DING!
I think that’s it exactly.
Holy Crap, PhDork and I are not only in agreement, we’re writing the EXACT SAME LINES.
Dorky, I think we’re spending too much time together. I knew this might happen when you moved around the corner.
@PhDork and Becky: What’s so frustrating is how my mom seems to have lost sight of the fact that, whether you’re making the choices or someone else is making them for you, you still have to face the attendant consequences. Surely whatever sacrifices and difficulties she would have faced had she had the choice, and opted to go to college and start a career would have paled in comparison to what she endured because of her lack of options.
I wonder if it’s simply the knowlage for years and years that things are so incredibly unfair that makes people crack sometimes. I really hope it doesn’t happen to me.
Becky, it’s the HARPYHIVEMIND!!!111!!!
For what it’s worth, my 79 year old mom is a total, hard-core, take-no-prisoners feminist. She hasn’t wavered an inch. I hope I’m just like her as I age. And if I begin to sound like Weldon, someone please shoot me.
It seems to me that a lot of 2nd Wave feminists have started forgetting their own accomplishments. I mean, if I were Weldon, I would tell everyone who would listen how women’s lives are better now because of things like, um, paychecks, and personal bank accounts, and being able to sign contracts, and stuff.
Sure, things aren’t perfect and life is still hard for the vast majority of people, but better is better.
This sort of thing is annoying, no doubt. But the reality is that women like Weldon are running out of time to produce this sort of blather. Something a lot more troubling to me is the lukewarm reaction of young women to the very real possibility that abortion will become inaccessible to them. It worries me a great deal that we’ve steadily lost ground in the struggle to keep our reproductive rights intact, and that young women aren’t up in arms about it.
Fay Weldon and her ilk can talk until they keel over and it won’t make any real difference to anyone’s life. Not caring enough about choice to fight for it makes a huge difference to all of us.
This is very interesting, because the women in my life seem to be getting more feminist-friendly as they age. Maybe it’s just my influence. Probably not, as they generally think I’m a nutter.
My grandmother’s friend, for example, (a Republican) went off on a rant the other day about seeing people protest outside abortion clinics. This woman is in her 70s, and was like, ‘All those post-menopausal women who don’t have anything to worry about are annoying, but what really makes me sick is all those old men! who the hell do they think they are? They’ve never even been close to that kind if situation, it’s disgusting they should just leave those poor girls alone!” Seriously, I was like “Wuhh?” And my grandmother* just kind of sat there and didn’t disagree. Then she talked about how poor people keep having so many babies, and if they want an abortion they should be able to get one because having a kid is really expensive and they can’t afford it…so then they just end up on welfare. It’s like, one step forward and one weird pirouette back to the 1900s.
My mother, who has always been the type who doesn’t want choices because when she made the choice to marry my father, it basically ruined her life because she never really wanted kids, she just didn’t know that she was capable of not wanting kids so she just had us. And she’s always been conservative, and of the getting-a-cookie-from-the-patriarchy variety. She is a hair dresser, for example. But lately she’s been ALL OVER David Letterman and talking shit about people who like Roman Polanski. She even told me that if Sarah Palin was a man, they wouldn’t make jokes about her the way they do. I tentatively suggested that the same was true for Hilary Clinton…and she agreed! And she said that Letterman’s rape joke about Palin’s daughter was disgusting and teaching boys that it’s ok to treat women like that!
I think after decades of just acquiescing to men, they just can’t fucking take it anymore. Also I really have been trying the honey not vinegar approach to feminism with them lately. But I think it might just be that as conservative women who were never interested in feminism, but who exist in a very matriarchy-friendly family structure and church structure (even though they’re catholic, they’re the type of catholic that builds shrines to the virgin mary and almost never, ever prays to jesus, favoring st theresa (she never lets my grandmother down!) and the virgin mary over god the dad and jesus the son). And it’s like, the accrued weight of the oppression is finally so heavy they can’t ignore it anymore, and their naturally spunky personalities are approaching a “fuck this” place–the one I reached in 6th grade.
*Who, it should be noted (ohmygod she’s so nuts), sometimes thinks abortion is ok, like when my 17 year old second cousin got pregnant and my grandmother was like “she has all these liver problems her doctor told her she shouldn’t have a baby because it could make her worse, AND the father is black!” Black babies? Ok. White babies? Ok. But babies that have one black parent and one white parent? Probably even worse for your liver.
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