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Have Yourself a Rapey Little Christmas

Posted by SarahMC in Thoughts, Holidays, Music, Rape culture, Sexual Harassment on Dec 3, 2009, 2:47pm | 52 comments

Whilst shopping with my mom over Thanksgiving break, Baby it’s Cold Outside came on in one of the stores. I hummed along for a few moments but then remembered – damn, this song is rape culture under the mistletoe. The song is a duet; the lyrics (with the male part in parentheses) are as follows:

I really can’t stay (Baby, it’s cold outside)
I’ve got to go ‘way (Baby, it’s cold outside)
The evening has been (I’ve been hopin’ that you’d drop in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hand, they’re just like ice)

My mother will start to worry (Hey beautiful, what’s your hurry)
And father will be pacing the floor (Listen to that fireplace roar)
So really, I’d better scurry (Beautiful, please don’t hurry)
Well, maybe just a half a drink more (Put some music on while I pour)

The neighbors might think (Baby, it’s bad out there)
Say, what’s in this drink (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

I oughtta say no, no, no sir (You mind if I move in closer)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (And what’s the sense in hurting my pride)
I really can’t stay (Oh baby, don’t hold out)
Oh, but it’s cold outside

I simply must go (It’s cold outside)
The answer is no (Baby, it’s cold outside)
The welcome has been (So lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)

My sister will be suspicious (Your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (I ain’t worried about you brother)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (That ol’ biddy, she ain’t gonna bother me)
Well maybe just a cigarette more (You don’t need no cigarette, it’s smokin’ plenty up in here)

I’ve got to get home (Baby, you’ll freeze out there)
Say, lend me a comb (It’s up to your knees out there)
You’ve really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)
Oh, but don’t you see (How can you do this thing to me)

There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Well, think of my lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died)
I really can’t stay (Get over that hold out)
Oh, but baby it’s cold outside

Frank Loesser wrote the music and lyrics to this song in 1944. Did you know the female voice in the song is called “The Mouse” and the male “The Wolf?” Wholesome holiday fun!

52 Responses to “Have Yourself a Rapey Little Christmas”

  1. bellacoker says:
    December 7, 2009 at 3:03 am

    Lol! Shorter Feminist in Academia: Radical feminists are radical.

  2. Taybeh Chaser says:
    December 11, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Heard this song, which had annoyed me since the age of 8 or so for no clear reason, recently on the radio and thought, “Holy crap, that’s about date rape!” Nice to know I had such good instincts as a kid.

    On another topic, in Israel (lived there for a year and a half) even the most important major Jewish holidays are not cranked up to the unmanageable level of insanity that Christmas is in the US. Shopping picks up reasonably before holidays like Rosh Ha-Shanah and Passover, and the latter involves some restrictions on what kinds of foods are sold in many stores, but none of this lasts a solid two months the way the Christmas season does these days, and there are no annoying songs repeated ad nauseum. Traffic may shut down on Yom Kippur, but that’s about as potentially inconvenient as it got for me, as a non-Jew, and nothing you’d drive to is open anyway. Hanukkah is a relatively small celebration there, I suspect because no one feels like they are competing with someone else’s winter holiday. Having also lived on the other side of the wall/fence/insert-your-preferred-term-here, I can tell you that Ramadan, despite actually legitimately lasting a month plus involving a strict fast, is relatively easy to ignore, should the non-Muslim visitor wish to do so. (I can live without eating falafel mid-street at mid-day.) And even in flippin’ *Bethlehem* Christmas is a less in-your-face consumer affair than in the US. Possibly it’s because there is somewhat less emphasis on buying shit in these cultures, or less money to buy it with. It’s always readily evident when these holidays and celebrations are occurring and people are ready with polite invites to dinners and parties, but I never felt they were being shoved down my throat or that assumptions were being made about my celebrating or not celebrating. It likely would have been different had I been born in the region, particularly with the two more recruitment-happy monotheisms, but that isn’t something I’m qualified to address.

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